When Life Hurts II, The Purpose in Pain

And Jesus, more than just the clapping of hands, Lord, receive the expression of praise from hearts that trust in the power of your shed blood that set us free from sin and all of its effects, Lord, and help us to believe that today, God, there's power and grace, there's love and compassion, Lord, there's even today a new beginning for those who will receive it, to walk with you through life's storms and life's challenges. We give you great praise in this moment, Lord. Lift our burdens, carry our hearts, speak to us, we pray now, in Jesus' name, everyone said. Amen. Amen. Let's be seated together. Great job to our choir and orchestra, thank you. I want to welcome you this morning and encourage you today that I've officially determined that I'm going to shoot any groundhog that I see in my backyard. You know, my mom said you can always trust Santa Claus the Tooth Fairy and the groundhog to be accurate and fair and right. If we have another day like this, I think I'm going to violate some laws and go groundhog hunting. Anyhow, we're almost there. Some of you noticed when you came in, it's kind of packed here at 11 o'clock and it really is going to be that way for a while. I just tell you, as the weather gets even warmer and nicer, which it certainly will, you might want to consider the 9 a.m. or the Saturday night service until we're able to finish our renovations and add some more space and more parking. It's just going to be a challenge, so you can help one another by doing that. Just consider that as you go forward. I know it's not easy to readjust, but it's just part of making room, friends. That's what we're going to be doing. And as you can see by the clock, Scott will mention this later, we're less than two weeks away. Two weeks from right now, another congregation, another North Way congregation, will be meeting in Oakland. And I'll tell you, it's going to be exciting. That's awesome, isn't it? Well, the reality is that as I prepared this series of messages a few weeks ago and I talked with J.R. about it, when life hurts is something that we all identify with. It's not if life hurts, it's when it hurts. I know many of you well enough to know that some of you have had a pretty smooth sort of course of life and not a lot of big ways have come along. And then there's others of you that just seem to go from one storm to another. And I know that some of you have come to these messages and maybe told some friends about it because you want some answers. You want to know, what do I do and how do I get through that storm? And how do I find, you know, relief from the pain? And so today at the end of the service, we're passing out relief from the pain pills. You can't see them very well from the back, I realize, but actually there is no relief from the pain pill. There is no quick answer. And I know last week, if you came through the ice storm to get here, which was enough of a pain of its own, we talked about the fact that God encourages us to persevere through pain. Remember? And if you didn't get that message, by the way, there's some CDs, free CDs available at the Lifelines that you can pick up afterwards. We talked about the cloud of witnesses of heroes that are cheering us on. We talked about the fact that if you're going through it, you've got to cast off the weights of the things that pull you away and the sin that entangles you, fixing your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith, and then believing that God will sustain you through it. That's how you persevere. And today I'm not going to give you a pain pill because there isn't one to take away the pain. But I do want to say this, and this is interesting. I didn't have this on Thursday night, and I didn't say this, and the Lord really convicted me. If you hear what I'm going to say today, and thankfully many people seem to have connected with this, listen, it's very possible for you to cut down the length of the pain that you're going through because there is a purpose in your pain. And when you receive the understanding of that purpose and begins to break in on your conscious understanding, God said, all right, you've got the lesson, good, I can end the pain. Are you hearing me? I don't know if you've been watching, but the scientists and doctors here locally have said that there's a particular, I think it's an asthma medicine or something like that, that in low dosage can help to reduce the amount of time that a cold affects you. Now, how many of you know when you get a cold it's usually like eight or ten days of being miserable, right? And this thing's supposed to cut it down to like two or three days. It's not been officially approved, all that. Well, in the same way, if you lean into what I'm about to say today, God can get through to you and some of the lessons being learned in the midst of it can help you a whole lot. On the other hand, I just wish that it was just easy. I wish I had a quick way to say, you know what, if you pray this prayer this certain way, and there are pastors that will do this, they'll tell their congregations, you know, if you just have the right amount of faith and pray the right kind of prayer, it'll happen for you just like that. I've not found it to be that way. In fact, sometimes God says things I don't want Him to say, you know. It's like that truck driver out in the California mountains, and he's going around Big Bear, and he loses control of his rig, and as the rig just tumbles over this 1,000-foot canyon down and smashes below into flames, he jumps out of the cab and grabs onto the limb of a tree that's hanging out of the side of the cliff, and he's holding onto it with two hands, and he knows he doesn't have long to hold on, and so he screams at the top of his lungs, is anyone out there? There's this little silence and pause, and a voice comes back and says, yes, I'm here. I'm the Lord your God, and I will save you. And the truck driver's so relieved. He says, what do I need to do, Lord? The Lord says, let go of the limb, and trust Me, and I'll catch you. There's this long pause, and the truck driver says, is there anyone else out there? Because, you see, we don't want to do the one thing that most requires us to let go of the things that make us feel secure. What I'm going to share today is just like that. You don't really want to hear what I'm going to say today in one sense. On the other hand, it's God's way, and I can say that from many years of walking with the Lord, and some of you could say it much better than I, because you've been through it. So I trust you'll lean in with me for the next few moments. If you have your outlines, take them out of your notes, and let's look together at the discipline of the Lord. Let's look and see what God has to speak to us, and by the way, oftentimes I'll get emails or little notes about people say, well, you know, I just wish we had deeper teaching at North Way. I wish we, you know, I'm going to go someplace, and I always say, you know, fine, I'm doing the best I can. Go to somebody who's deeper. That's fine, but let me just say this. If you lay into this today and really get it, I would say that you would be in the top five percent of Christians who understand how God works in their lives. How many would be happy to be in the top five percent of maturity? Okay, well, the rest of you, you know, whatever you're happy with is good, but if I, I would go for that if it were me. This is a very important teaching. It's challenging. It's difficult, but it's very important. I'm going to read from the message paraphrase from, this is Hebrews 12. We're picking up right where we left off last week, and for the few of you who will text me or email me or whatever and say, I don't believe you should use the message. It's not a translation. It's a paraphrase. Please don't waste your time. I'm going to read it anyhow, because it helps you to understand the intent of the authors. Now, I'll use the NIV, which is a translation to do the exposition, but listen as we read, because some of the words are very important, and the language will be much more easily understood. Let's read it. It'll be on the screens. Here's what the author says. When you're going through pain in your life, when life hurts, so don't feel sorry for yourselves or have you forgotten how good parents treat children and that God regards you as his children. Isn't that awesome? If you belong to God, if you're a child of God, he treats you as one of his children. My dear child, don't shrug off God's discipline, but don't be crushed by it either. In other words, there's a place where you can just understand how to receive it. It's the child he loves that he disciplines. The child he embraces, he also corrects. God is educating you. That's why you must never drop out or never give up. He's treating you as dear children. Loved ones, the connection between pain in our lives and hurting and treating you as a dear child, that seems hard. It seems like a contradiction, but I'm going to try to explain it to you. This trouble you're in isn't punishment. Oh, it's so important. It's training the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Amen? Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training us and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God's training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them, but God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God's holy best. At the time, discipline isn't much fun. Everyone said amen to that. It always feels like it's going to go against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it's the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship to God. And I just want to say, if you'll grab hold of this today, it will help you to avoid, and this is the first blank in the bottom of your outline, the confusion that comes in your soul when God doesn't seem to come through for you. Loved ones, it's easy to get confused and feel like God's nowhere to be found, and you're going through this all by yourself, and that's so dangerous. There are many empty seats today where people would have been that one time walked with God aren't doing that anymore, because when something didn't happen in their life the way they thought it would, they weren't prepared for what I'm going to share today. And therefore, they gave up, or as the writer said, they lost heart. I don't want that to happen to you. This is so important that you get it. On the other hand, if you got everything, let me put it this way, talking about how many of you are real parents, I mean natural parents, got your own kids or adopted kids. If you gave your kid what they wanted, when they wanted it, every time they wanted it, what kind of kid would you have? This is church now, okay? I heard brat, spoiled brat, and a couple other kind of adjectives with brat, okay? But basically, you know, that would not be a good thing, right? That child would just have this certain sort of arrogance about them, this certain sort of like entitlement mentality, you owe me, come on. Have you ever seen kids like that? Ever go through the mall and see kids who just have their parents just basically, they throw a fit if they don't get what they want? I've seen that out in the lobby actually a couple, no, I'm just kidding. You do, you see parents sometimes who don't understand the importance of defining parameters. And God loves us too much to let us become spoiled brats. It doesn't work that way. He's God, we're His children. He's the one that's refining and shaping us. And so He helps us to mature and grow up. That's what discipline does. And I have to say, it's not necessarily easy. It's not necessarily the first thing that we think about. And so let me give you three lessons in this passage that are for every one of us. First of all, what is the discipline of the Lord? All right, we saw that word clearly there. What is the discipline of the Lord? Let's talk about that. The word discipline in the Greek is the word padia, which means to instruct or train up or educate. In other words, it's not discipline necessarily in the idea of spanking, you got it, or punishment. We've got to really distinguish between that. God says it this way, and I mean this is my working definition if you want to fill in the blank. It's painful circumstances allowed by God to change our conduct and character. I want you just to underline the word painful because not everything in life goes the way we want it to. I'm looking at thousands of eyeballs right now who are going through painful circumstances, children who are rebelling, bosses who are abusing authority, financial confusion that's bringing depression into your household, health problems. I mean, the list could go on and on and on and on. But you have to be very clear about something here, friends. There's a very important distinction you have to make. Discipline is not the same as consequences. You got that? Let's talk about the difference of that. I mean, let's think of someone, you know, something really strange. Let's just imagine that you were coming to church here at 1045 and you saw me pulled over on the side of Route 19 for going 42 miles an hour in a 40-mile-an-hour zone. All right, let's be realistic. Let's say I was going 72 miles an hour, okay? And you were concerned, and so you pulled over and you came up and you say, what's going on? And I said, oh, I'm just being disciplined by the Lord. No, what's really happening? I'm, that's right, I'm getting a ticket. I'm being, well, yeah, I'm getting beat down by the police because I deserve it. I broke the law. Consequences are not the same as discipline. I mean, I was doing something wrong and I got busted. That's what, that's what happened. A young woman, a really great Christian family gets pregnant because she has sex with her boyfriend. Is she being disciplined by the Lord? No. She's receiving the consequences of breaking one of God's commandments. The man who squanders his life savings and his family's money on gambling on the internet and ends up in bankruptcy court, is he being disciplined by the Lord? No. He's receiving the consequences. Very important you understand that. Sometimes stuff happens in your life that's painful because you did something really dumb. Going 92 miles an hour, am I getting real now? All right. Going over the speed limit excessively, you know, make it up, whatever it is in your world. Not doing your taxes. Well, that hurts. Whatever it is, those are consequences of sin. That's not the discipline of the Lord. And don't confuse the two. Sometimes though, unexpected things happen that you don't bring on, that has nothing to do with your behavior, that you know about. In other words, isn't really something that you brought on yourself. And if you learn to accelerate yourself into that and lean into it, that's when spiritual maturity can really happen. You know, I believe that you're here today. People come to North Way and they only stay really for very long if they're serious about wanting to grow. Because this isn't a church that just gives you sort of like little taste. We really are serious about it. I've given my life to it. And so, I want to encourage you, if you lean into this, you can grow rapidly. This is almost, if you will, this is almost like sort of a, this will accelerate your spiritual growth if you lean into it. What's the first response that comes out of your mouth when something unexpected happens that's not very pleasant? Let's say somebody backs into your car and smashes the side of it at the Giant Eagle one day after you're shopping, and the whole side of your car is dented in. What's the first thing that comes out of your mouth? Praise Jesus. No. Scott does that. I mean, I've been around. No, no. What is normally what? Why me? I mean, why me? Come on. God, I've been trying to live for you. I've been tithing. I've been serving. I've been going to my group. I had my Bible study this morning. Why would someone do that, not even leave a name? Why me? Friends, if you can come to the place where the first thing that comes out of your mouth isn't why me, but it's like, okay, God, I don't like this. This seems silly to me. It's going to take a lot of time. It's going to cost me some money. What are you trying to teach me? What do I need to know? Now, some people are thinking, well, look, it's just part of life. You know, there are just, there are just inconsiderate people who, who do stupid things. That's true. But listen, listen now, if you're a child of God, nothing happens in your life accidentally. Please hear that. You don't, you're not, you're not just some sort of victim of like life. No, no. God knows. He knows everything. The key is at that moment to say, Lord, what would you like me to learn about this circumstance? What, what, what about me needs to be affected right now? I was with a couple, uh, just this week. They were, they, as both of them are of, have working capabilities and they both went out of work for quite a while and that the husband was supposed to get a job and he was denied the job at the last minute and they chose another candidate. And they were in my office basically just almost to say to me, they wanted to give up. They just said, we just, they've been out of work for over a year. And they keep saying, what's wrong with us? And I'm saying, well, maybe there's nothing wrong with you as much as God wants you to learn something about Him. And it wasn't easy for me, but I was trying to help them to see that inside of all that difficulty, there's a lesson that can be learned. Now friends, I would say, I would go as far as to say that 90, when I did the message the first time I put 90, but you know, I raised it to about 98% of the things that happened to us fall into the category of God. If God allows it, He allows it for a purpose to teach you something. Then there's that 2% or so that just, I mean, I have to say as a pastor, I wish I could explain to you. I just can't. I mean that, that bus that went off the overpass the other day and killed those six baseball players from a Mennonite college up here in Ohio. Was that God like, was God disciplining those families? No, please don't. That's not God. I had a young woman stop me after the service last night, tearfully saying that her daughter's husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. And I went through the long process of explaining how God allows us to make choices, but God doesn't cause people to die to teach them something. Kind of like, this is the point, isn't it? Unfortunately, what do most people do in those circumstances? They blame God. Well, God, if you really had loved me, you wouldn't have let that happen, right? This lady was saying to me, her daughter's saying, God, if you love me, you love my husband, you wouldn't have let that happen to him. And, and I understand that. And, and I have deep compassion for the pain that they're feeling, but, but your response should be this. Here's the thing. God has put us in a world where we had this wonderful gift called free moral authority. We can choose to make decisions. How many of you'd rather be free to choose to do what you want to do with the possible consequences of being something negative than to be a robot and have just nothing happen? You just do, do, do, do. How many want to be a robot? How many want to have the freedom to choose? Keep that in mind when something difficult happens. It's the price of freedom. And also keep in mind, how many times has God rescued us from our own stupidity? Oh my gosh. If we'd only at times just pause and say, Lord, thank you that even though I didn't do this, you protected me that way. Things would be remarkably different. But again, for those of you who've gone through heartache, those, I mean, I have seen things that I, I mean, I've been with parents whose child has been, you know, irreversibly brain damaged or whatever. And friends, I don't have an explanation. There's a couple of scriptures that came to mind. These, these talk about God's ways. There's one in Proverbs 25, if we could bring that up. It's the glory of God to conceal a matter. In other words, God is mysterious sometimes, but it's to search it out and understand it. That's our glory. That's what brings us a sense of fulfillment. Or how about Isaiah 55, one of my favorite scriptures. For my thoughts, read this with me, are not your thoughts. Neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Whose ways are higher, God's or mine? Well, of course, read the next part. As the heavens are higher than the earth, how high is that? So are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts and your thoughts, says the Lord. So when you don't understand something, how about having the courage just to say, God, I defer to the fact that you see from 50,000 feet. Actually, you see from heaven. I just see from right down here. And sometimes that gives me enough grace just to trust God. I've seen moments, friends, even in inconsolable moments to me where God's grace has been amazing. Do you remember when that deranged person went in and shot those Amish children in that little schoolhouse not that long ago? Remember that? What was that, six or nine months ago? How unbelievable that was. And yet the Amish community came around the family of the perpetrator. Remember that? And went and forgave them and let them know that I mean, how do you do that? That's not natural. It was so overpowering, actually, that even the secular media gave it some air because that just doesn't happen. Normally, there'd be revenge or anger or bitterness, but no. God can give you grace. Listen, sometimes the deeper your pain, the more the grace of God can emerge through you if you'll lean into it. These are deep mysteries. But the problem is this, that every one of us, and this is, by the way, something I'm quoting now from a guy by the name of RT Kendall, who is a great preacher from over in London, and he said this. He said that every follower of Christ will hit at one time in their life, at least, what's called the betrayal barrier. I didn't put that in your notes, but it's a great phrase, the betrayal barrier. That's the time when you think in your head, God has let me down. I haven't done this in any of the services, but I'm going to do this right now. How many of you have said you've already hit that barrier at least once? Okay, good. We have a normal church because, you see, all of us want God to come through every time, and sometimes He doesn't. That betrayal barrier, by the way, friends, when you hit it, it's one of the most difficult moments of our lives. We wonder, where is God? James Dobson, who I respect greatly, don't agree with everything he says, but if you look up in the screens, here's what he said about his counseling and meeting with people over 35 years of ministry or so. In my work with families who are going through various hardships, from sickness and death to marital conflict and adolescent rebellion, there's a lot of things right there, right? I have found it common for those in crisis to feel great frustration with God. This is particularly true when things happen that seem illogical and inconsistent with what had been taught or understood, okay? Then, if the Lord does not rescue them from the circumstances in which they're embroiled, their frustration, look at the word he uses, quickly deteriorates into anger toward God and this sense of abandonment by God. There's the betrayal barrier. And finally, disillusionment sets in and the spirit, listen, the spirit begins to wither. Friends, my prayer, more than anything else today, is if you're going through a trial, don't let your spirit wither, please. Don't, if you feel like you're just about to give up, if it's been, and I know, I know some of the pain that you can feel is so hard that you want to say, you know what, I just want, if this is what it means to be a Christian, I'm going to, don't let it happen to you. Remember Jesus. Remember what he said, Father, why have you forsaken me? What was that? That was the betrayal barrier. If the Son of God got to that moment, do you think you're going to escape it? And yet, what do we know? It was necessary in order to fulfill the plan, the purpose of God. And once you get through that, friends, incredible things happen. Your life can bear amazing fruit. And God, listen, if you're going through it, I have found this, only two things sustain you, God's promises and God's people. Never be so proud that you don't reach out and say, would you please pray for me? I'm having a really hard time. You know, I want to say something right now about Pastor JR. His circumstance, the thing he's going through with Rachel is very difficult. And he's been, he's been pretty, you know, upfront about it with you. But last Tuesday, he came to the elders meeting and, and he shared with the brothers there, quite emotionally, how hard it had been for him to see his wife deteriorating. And, you know, in this thing where you go through thyroid cancer, you reach a point where you're no longer, your thyroid's out and the hormones it's producing are gone. And then, you know, you're, you lose energy and you're sleeping 18 to 20 hours a day. And, and, and JR with tears just shared, you know, how hard it had been. You know, but never once have I heard him saying, you know, if this is what I got to do in order to be a, you know, a pastor in God's church, then I'm not into it. Or how can I help others if I can't, you know, none of that. He just said, I know God's going to be glorified. I believe that we're going to come through this stronger than when we went in. I believe that God's going to use this to touch others. And I want us to pray and just really uphold them right now as Rachel now has that radiation pill in her body and no one can come within six feet of her for the next week. But then we're going to believe that God's going to completely heal her. How many of you would believe with me for that? Completely heal her. We're going to believe for that. It's good. The Bible says that God will not allow you to go through more than you can bear. JR had said to me that that was tested in him. I think it was like Wednesday morning, Scott. JR got up early. The only way for him to get through this was to take the two little girls and get away from home because they couldn't be near their mom. So we sent them down to the grandparents in Florida. And so imagine JR getting up at 5 a.m. and taking all this stuff to take a one-year-old and a three-year-old to Florida. He said there was 12 bins of stuff, you know, strollers and packs and all this stuff. And he texted me, he said, we got through, you know, we got to the security line and we made it on the plane and we were so glad. And two hours later, I get this text. He said, he says, dude, they're calling the plane back in. Something's wrong with the wiring. And I text back and I said, God will not send you through anything that you cannot endure. He said, I do not believe that anymore. By 2.38 p.m., I have it on my phone by 2.38, he had arrived in Florida. And I think he dropped the girls off at the grandparents and he's gone now. But no, I'm just kidding. He's, he's staying with them through this time. And so let's support them. You see, it's just all of us will go through it. Let's learn to lean into those moments because we come out so much stronger, so much more God-like as we'll see in a moment. There are great benefits that we get to. Now let's move on as we understand this. And, you know, I know this isn't easy, is it? I mean, it's just not easy. How many of you ever bounced a check? You know, about 50% of you are lying right now. Okay. You know, bouncing a check really stinks, doesn't it? I mean, first of all, like it's, it's an affirmation publicly that you're like broke, number one. Second, like now the merchant that you bought from knows that you're a loser and can't control your bank, right? And then third, the bank wants you to pay them 35 extra bucks for back, which you didn't have in the first place, right? It just stinks on every level. Somehow at times the discipline of the Lord can feel that way. It's like, look, I'm already getting through this and now it's like worse. And you know what? You will get through it. God will come through in a second. Why does God do this? Well, real quickly, let's go real quickly. He disciplines us. We read this because He loves you. You say, well, how does that make sense? Well, for the very reason we talked about, if He didn't discipline you, friends, you'd be like an, here's the word that's used, an illegitimate child. That's a strong word. In the Greek, it means you would not be an authentic child of God. God only disciplines you if you're one of His. And I would say this, if you're going through life and you're just not feeling any discipline at all, and you just go on for years and years and you never feel like anything ever, just, I just challenge whether or not you're really following God. Do you really belong to Him? Because it says, it says, it says He disciplines every child of His. So that means Scott doesn't get off. Whitney doesn't get off. John doesn't get off. I don't get off. Every one of us will go through it. And you know what? Every once in a while, I like what Scott said earlier today. If you're really honest and you're going through a tough time, say, hey, thanks for asking. I'm having a tough time right now. That's such an honest answer. It just draws people to you and makes them feel like, you know what? I've been there. Let me put my arm around you and just, I'll pray with you about your circumstance. That's an awesome way to be. Let's not pretend that everything's great all the time because it's not. God disciplines us because He loves us. And He's just trying to bring about that maturity, you know, and He doesn't delight in it. One of the things that I've got to help undo in some of you is the idea that, that every time something negative happens in your life, it's God just punishing you, you know, dropping the gavel, letting you have it again. Some of you grew up in a church where you equated negative circumstances to God punishing you. Well, you know, I wrecked my car. God's punishing me. Well, you know, I lost my job. God's punishing me. No, that's not necessarily the case at all. God doesn't take any pleasure. Parents, natural parents, do you, do you enjoy disciplining your kids? I mean, do you get pleasure out of that? No, I think it's one of the hardest things that we have to do at times, especially, I mean, now we're not going to get into a discussion about spanking here, but if you believe that it's appropriate in the Bible, I would think it gives you plenty of room to see that occasionally spanking, corporal punishment is an appropriate way to bring discipline to your child. You don't take pleasure in that. I mean, you don't, I think back, there were times, I mean, if I told you what some of my kids did, I'm just kidding, they're here, they're going to, you know, I have, I have great kids, but I never took pleasure. No, you know, one time I remember, boys especially, no, you never do, you never take pleasure, but sometimes you have to, otherwise that child will continue on the path that makes them think, you know what, I'm above it, I can get what I want. At the end of the day, you're crying and weeping and sorrowful, your child has never, ever come to the place of maturity because they've never understood the place of discipline. The Lord does it because He loves you, because He wants to prove that you're, listen, it's painful, it's not, at the time it feels horrible, but let's look finally, how should you respond, because this is what you get out of it, this is the benefit. Number one, if, here's how, and I just made this as simple as I can so you can grab onto it, number one, admit it, admit that God's your Father and He loves you, and whatever discipline you're going through is for your benefit, that's very important, it says, I think in verse 9, it says to respect Him, respect Him as your Father, say, Father, I don't like this, I don't know why I'm going through it, but I respect you as my Father and I'm going to trust you, so that's the second thing, submit to Him, so admit that He's your Father, submit to it, in other words, yield your, listen, listen men, especially men, y