To Tell the Truth II, Telling the Truth to the Ones You Love

Father, as a praising people, as a church that is touched by grace, may we now see the deeds that you have done in our lives be translated, Lord, as deeds done through our lives to those around us. I pray you'd speak not every heart that is open to receive, but you'd receive the glory in Jesus' name, in everyone's name, amen. You may be seated, church. Thank you. Thank you, choir and praise team for staying over. That's great. Thank you. We're in John's gospel, the gospel of John. Now, please, John chapter 6 today, John chapter 6, verse 53, if you'll follow along or just listen carefully. If you don't have a Bible, perhaps you can read off from someone else's or just listen particularly closely. Jesus said to them, John 6, 53, I tell you the truth, let's say those words, I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day, for my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink, and whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Our forefathers ate manna and died, but he who feeds on this bread will live forever. And he said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum, and on hearing it, many of his disciples said, this is a hard teaching, who can accept it? If I told my boss what I really thought about this place, he'd fire me in a moment. Ever heard that thought? Teenagers, have you ever thought this? If my mom and dad really knew the truth, they'd throw me out of the house. Wives, have you ever said this? If I told my husband how I really felt about his being gone so much, he couldn't handle it. He'd clam up and withdraw. Husbands, have you ever thought, if I told my wife how frustrated I really was about our relationship, she'd be hurt and cry, couldn't get over it for three weeks? Have you ever found that telling the truth to people that you love is difficult? It's really difficult sometimes to tell the truth. And yet Jesus said right here and 78 other times in the Gospels, I tell you the truth. I tell you the truth. The truth. Apparently, to Jesus Christ, it was important that those who were following after him knew the difference between truth and error, or truth and what they just wanted to believe about him and about other things. In fact, the Bible says, cover to cover, speak the truth to one another. Even back in the Old Testament, Zechariah 8.16, it says, these are the things that you shall do. Speak the truth to one another. And we all know Ephesians 4.16, let's learn to speak the truth in, hello, love. Speaking in love, building up one another. And all through the Gospels and the Epistles, we see speaking the truth, speaking the truth. But doing so isn't always that easy to do, is it? Because we know the consequences may not be all that pretty. I gained permission to share this from my wife yesterday. Some years ago now, many years ago, I had come back from Pittsburgh, I had flown back, I was living in California at the time, I had flown back, and she greeted me at the airport. And we were expecting, I'd been gone for a while, we were expecting a great time together, just a reunion and all that. And she decided it was time to have a new look. How many ladies know what I'm talking about? Men are not with us yet here. But it was the new hairdo time. And well, I came down and I was looking for her, actually, I couldn't find her there. And there she was, see, all the time. And that, well, it was just one of those things that was really different, ladies, come on, you know what I'm saying? A really different look. And after we had the initial hugs and everything, and we were just, she said, well, do you like it? You know? And I said something like, well, you want the truth or should I lie and make you feel good? You know? Well, needless to say, from that point on, the reunion was shot, it was days of repair work. She didn't care what happened to my trip back east, you know, and God bless her. Now we've been, like, 15 years since that last hairdo. And I'm sure that we all could tell similar kinds of stories, couldn't we, couples? And even those of you who date different people, you realize that some things just, you want to say it, but you know, if you do, watch out. You know, there's many occasions when we know that if we spoke the truth, it could mean something to our harm. Have you ever been in a situation like that, and if the truth came out, you could get pounded for it? I remember a similar kind of an incident years ago, as well, when I was playing basketball down in my hometown, and I had just gotten a nice new ball, an expensive ball that I was kind of cherishing, took it down to the playground, and there was a lot of big guys there, a lot bigger than I was, and we were shooting around, and when it came time to pick up the game and get the teams going in this pick-up game, I was not selected as one of the ten that was to play, but my ball was, because I had this new, expensive basketball. And so, you know, I watched rather helplessly as my ball had a great game, you know, back and forth, up and up, but I sat there, and the truth was, I just wanted to leave and go to another court, but the consequences would have been probably more than I wanted to bear, and so I waited for 45 minutes, whatever they played, and when they all finished the game and went to get a drink of water, guess what I did? Got my ball, and pshew, on their own. Why is that? Why do we know we should speak the truth sometimes, and just don't do it? Well, let me make a suggestion that the solution has something to do with the fact that human nature prefers things to be peaceful. I mean, basically, bottom line, we like for there to be a nice, smooth, tranquil sea for us to sail on, amen? Rather than the storms and all the waves that we create, and all the frustration that we can engender by our truthfulness. Human nature is such that we would rather not have the conflicts. We'd rather not have the head-on collisions that so often can take place. Keep me out of the trauma unit. I want to stay nice and calm. In fact, it was interesting, a low-key sea, you know? I mean, the ketchup was starting to spew in his veins, and he was getting angry, you can tell that. But let's not rock the boat. And every once in a while, you had one brave soul who, you know, just slammed his fist up. Well, that's human nature. That's how we tend to function. Let's not create waves here, folks. Let's just kind of navigate through, and things will work out. And in fact, to the extreme, it gets down to appeasement in relationships, where we'll even go the next step, which is to do things that we know will specifically keep things calm. And the tragedy is, at times, the consequences of that are worse. In fact, those of you who were alive in World War II may remember when Neville Chamberlain, the Prime Minister of Great Britain at that time, remember what he did? He conceded some things to Adolf Hitler and appeased him, thinking that somehow he would just go away. And folks, it didn't happen. And as a result, of course, millions of lives were lost. So appeasement doesn't work. In fact, folks, if we're really honest with ourselves, it rarely works to just sit there and play dumb, like nothing was happening. Now, look at Jesus here today. Follow with me in John chapter 6, because you see, as we look at this text, we're going to see something. We're going to see that Christ knew that people were attracted to Him. He knew that in relationship with them, He was hitting the right buttons. If you read John 6, we're going to discover in there, if we had time to read it, that this is where He fed the 5,000. This is where He did amazing miracles of healing. This is where He even walked in the water. And so crowds were gathering. People loved Him. And Jesus had it going His way. And He says these words that we just read in John 6, verse 53, "...whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life." How many believe that was something that the people kind of thought was a little bit strange? And right in the middle of a very tranquil sea of miracles and blessings and hallelujahs and God is wonderful, Jesus comes out with a statement that absolutely severs the calm and creates a tremendous firestorm of controversy. So much so that many of His disciples we read did what? They got out of it. Look at John 6 and verse 66, "...from this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him." Nonetheless, Jesus knew it was necessary to speak those words. And just the same, dear ones, it's necessary in our relationships. I'm going to talk about both of those things now for the next few minutes. Because I believe that what God's Word tells us is that God wants us to have, in fact we were created with a craving, a desire for genuine relationships. There is in every one of you hearing the sound of my voice today a desire to be loved, a desire to know love, to experience genuine, authentic relationships. Both with God and with one another. And I want to talk about both of those for just a minute and how the truth is the only way that those things will happen. First of all, let's look at what it means to have a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. One that the Bible calls a communal. From the word communion, which we're going to share today, a communal relationship with Christ. John 6, Jesus said, be part of me, eat my body and drink my blood, be part of me. That's what that symbolism means. I want to ask you a question. When you first heard about Christ, did you get the whole picture? Or did you come in at the miracle level or at the blessing level? Do you remember that? Think back for some of you. It's been some years. Some of you are just coming to terms with this issue right now. You hear about God and you hear about his love for you, about his prayer answering power. When I was 16 years old, my mom and dad took me to a little tent meeting revival kind of thing out in a camp out in Ohio. I was right at that point to know about God as my Savior. I was aware of the fact that I was a sinner. I was proud and I needed to get my life straightened out. I received Christ as my Savior back in July of 1827, something like that, it feels like. It was about 26 or 27 years ago now, about 25 years ago. In fact, I can't even remember, that's how long ago it's been. Memory's gone. But it was two years later that someone told me what it meant to know Christ as my Lord. There is a big difference. There's a big difference in just coming in for the forgiveness, coming in for the blessing, coming in for all the good stuff. And then someone came to me when I was a college freshman and said, you know, by the way, Jay, when you signed on this ship, it also has a compartment marked Lord of my life. And a whole new arena of truth opened up to me about the fact that Jesus had some demands. He had some things that he was expecting of me. And it was then that I began to enjoy the communal relationship, the intimate one, the one where he and I shared together. And that's what God wants for us all. Truly an authentic relationship, not one that's got some marks of it. And in fact, it's fair to say that most people today who call themselves Christian don't really have a genuine relationship with Christ. They've got what we call a counterfeit relationship. But let's talk, before we go on with that, let's talk about one to another here. Let's talk about you, sir, and ma'am. Let's talk about one to another, about communal relationships with each other. You see, Christ didn't just stop and say, well, love me and everything's fine. He said, just as I have loved you, what? Love one another. It's got to come down to that, John 13, 34. So you must love one another. But because we tend to prefer peacekeeping, because we don't want to rock the boat, but because we want things to be smooth, our relationships tend to become what I'm going to call counterfeit. Let's put that up, Tom. Counterfeit. They tend to become marked by a shallowness. They tend to become marked by lack of total honesty, lack of really opening in your heart to the people, even the ones that you're to be close to, such as your spouse, or a brother and sister in Christ that you spend time with. The word counterfeit in the dictionary is defined as a pretense, an imitation. You all know what imitation relationships look like, don't you? People smile, they can turn it on and turn it off, but down inside they're thinking other things than smiles. You see, God wants us to have supporting, caring, loving, tender, concerned, edifying relationships. But those kinds that are counterfeits are relationships that are places where failures are not shared, where hurts are buried, where feelings are never expressed for fear that you'll be rejected, where disappointments never get aired out, where hopes and desires just remain written on the brain but never expressed and shared together. Why? Because I don't want to rock the boat. I don't want that person to get upset. And so many of us stay locked in what I'll call counterfeit relationships, both with God and with each other, because we just don't want to rock the boat. We don't want things to get a little rough in our lives. In fact, some people might even say, isn't it better to just kind of have a relationship that's sort of only partly real than to have no relationship at all? And the sad truth is I'm probably describing some marriages here today and maybe even some friendships where there's a fear and there's a covering over and there's a hurt that's buried down rather than an openness. And you see, the saddest truth is this, dear ones. If you're in counterfeit relationship, if you're unable to communicate, what generally happens is over time, that counterfeit relationship, instead of just hanging on, begins to digress. You see, one of the partners gets alienated and hurt and then they begin to interpret how the other one is acting. And things that they never meant to be an offense become an offense. And people begin to get on a spiral of more and more distrust and more and more alienation and hurt. And it isn't long before someone you really love is someone you can't even stand anymore. And Jesus Christ calls out and He says, I want to have genuine relationships with you and I want you to have them with those that you love. So what do we do? How do we get from the counterfeit to the communal? Let's put up that second overhead, can't we? Let's put up the second overhead. How can we get from the counterfeit where things aren't real, they're shadowy? Do you have a relationship like this? Let me ask you. Where there really isn't genuine openness, where things are shallow, always surface level, questions aren't asked and answers aren't given. There tends to be a criticalness of the person rather than a receiving. How do I get from there? Well, last night as I was just praying about how to best say this, the Lord just brought to my mind that He gave us the cross of Jesus Christ. The cross of Christ becomes the bridge. How many of you have ever seen the cross as a bridge? You've seen this in all kinds of pamphlets and tracts. On the one side are we, man, locked in our sin, lost. On the other side is God in His joyful presence. How do we get from where we are to where He is? Well, the cross of Christ comes down. Jesus, incarnated at Christmas time, crucified at Easter time, available to us right now. And we come to Him at the cross. It's at the crisis of the cross, folks, that every person in this room must come to terms with God. It isn't because you went to a good church when you were a little baby. It's not because you were baptized. It wasn't because you tried to be good. It's because you came to the cross. You see, our human relationships are no different. Not long ago, in fact it was on Friday, I was driving up Interstate 79 and came across the giant bridge that connects Neville Island and that whole area with Abenworth. You all know what I'm talking about, the I-79 bridge right there? Huge span, you know, it's eight lanes across. And I was driving over that and I was just thinking to myself, this thing is enormous. But underneath is a lot of cold, choppy, turbulent water. And you know, when we take a step on that cross, on that bridge, you know, underneath us is a lot of turbulence. In fact, you can step out on that bridge and find yourself swaying a bit. And when you seek to make your relationships genuine, communal, authentic relationships, you know what? You step on that cross, guess what happens? Things can get kind of rough. When one person gets brave enough to leave the security, the false security of these kinds of counterfeit things, well, folks, it gets mighty tough sometimes. To be genuine with somebody is very risky business, is it not? Some years ago, I had a relationship with a person that I was working with. And I was coming to the place where I was recognizing that some of these feelings were building up, and I wasn't able to communicate. You want to leave that up, please? I wasn't able, and I knew I needed to do something. So this person who, by the way, everyone kind of perceived as being a real teddy bear kind of a guy, I set up a lunch date and I said, well, we've got to get together and I've got to talk. And I figured this all out, and I know this person liked to have nice lunches, so we set up a nice lunch, went to a good restaurant, had a nice lunch. We were talking, and I was looking for some way to get out of this, but I knew I had to do it to get to those places. And as I shared what was really on my heart, how I was really feeling, I took a step on the bridge. Well, guess what happened? That cuddly little teddy bear became a giant nine-foot grizzly. A transformation happened, a metamorphosis. His fangs went out and his claws came in. He perceived my telling him the truth as being an attack. And what do you think I did? Well, what would you do if you saw a nine-foot grizzly? I put it in reverse and backed out and said, well, hey, I kind of like it over here on the counterfeit side of things. This is a lot more peaceful. And I am sure today that there are some of you who have tried to be honest with someone and found that when you stepped on the bridge, the grizzlies came up. Do you notice in here that when Jesus got real honest with the disciples, all kinds of things started to happen? But what did Christ do? He didn't change the message. He said, this is the truth. I tell you the truth. And what we need to learn is this. Even if it means we go through some storms, it's worth it. It is worth it, it is worth it to go through the little bit of alienation, the initial sparks that go up. And I'm sure that this person could say the same thing he tried to get to me, and I flashed my fangs as well. But if we don't do that, we stay locked in counterfeit relationship. And one of my great concerns as North Way grows as a church, and your attendance here today is evidence of those very things happening, we have a choice. Will we get big and counterfeit, or will we be committed to go through the crisis of the cross and be communal and have genuine relationships, heart to heart? You say, well I can't love everybody here like that. That's correct. But there are certainly some in your own immediate circle that you need to know you have community with. In fact, I'll go as far as to say, you know you want to. You want to love them. You learn, you yearn to. You've been created with them. The question is today, will we tell the truth in order to get there, or will we continue to slide by in the shadows and hope somehow? One person's got to risk, got to say, I'm going to leave the security. I'm going to venture out on the bridge. I'm going to take a step of faith. And if the grizzly bear comes up, so be it. I've got to do it. Because that's better than staying forever back there in that unfulfilling. And by the way, it not only just remains unfulfilling. I have evidenced this in my own life. Those relationships, the counterfeit ones, they deteriorate. And over time, they won't be there even to try to retrieve. You see, this is the difference between being an authentic Christian and just being one in name only, folks. And it's not easy. It's not easy. But why is it worth it? It is worth it. To live genuinely for Christ. To know Him personally. And to know the people around you in that fashion. So as I conclude this morning, and we prepare for communion, I want to ask you a question. What kind of relationship do you have with Christ? Do you have a genuine one, an authentic one? Have you found yourself walking on the bridge of the cross? If you think of the cross as something Jesus did for you, that's half the message. What's the other half? The cross is something you embrace. Jesus said, if a man takes up his cross daily and follows me, that man is my disciple. How do you do that, Jay? By today acknowledging, Lord, there are some areas I've been keeping you out of, there are some things I'm not letting you into, there are some places where I'm playing games, and today I want you to come in and make those places right. Number two, I want you to just raise up into your little screen inside your brain this morning the faces of people that you know you've been living in counterfeit relationships with. It may be very easy for some of you to do that. You might have multiple people. It may be someone you were once in a communal relationship with. But I want to urge you, raise them up. See them as someone God wants you to know authentically. And ask yourself the question, am I ready to step out on that bridge? Ephesians 2 and 16 tells us that God sent that cross as a reconciling agent one to another. You can do it. The alternative, my dear ones, is that we would be lost and locked back in counterfeit relationships. I don't want that. I don't believe you want that. And I believe God has given us the grace here in our church to go on together. Will you be the one that could call someone up and say, hey, listen, can we get together? Because I've got to share something with you. And when you sit down with them, you can open that very sensitively and say, listen, I would never want to hurt you. I value your relationship with me. This is going to be hard for me to say and it may be hard for you to hear. But this is the truth about how I feel. Help me to see what's really happening. And if you're an elder, a home group leader, if you're a person in ministry somewhere, you're not exonerated from doing it. You've got to do it just the same as everyone else because we all, church, we all yearn to be one. It will only happen as we tell the truth. Jesus said this, if you tell the truth, the truth will make you free. You know the truth, you tell it. There's going to be freedom in him and in our relationships together. That's where we want to live, is it not? Amen. Lord, this is a challenging word, a word that I know would bring us all to understand our limitations. But I pray that as we commune together, we'd be willing today to come to the crisis of the cross and to step out on that bridge and just begin to be united in who you are and see that you've already been on that cross for us, reconciling us with God the Father. And I pray there would be a powerful cementing of that reality in each and every one of our hearts today. In Jesus' precious name, glory to God.