The Power to Change Your Life

This is North Way tape number 553. This message was delivered by Pastor Jay Passavant of North Way Christian Community on Wednesday evening, October 15th, 1986. Glory to God. Let's turn to Philippians chapter three tonight. I want to share with you on the subject, how God changes us. How God changes us. Because I've been privileged to be in the same general vicinity now for 12 years, I've watched a lot of young people that I've known grow up, literally, and become functioning, normal citizens of the kingdom of God. It's been a joy to watch some people who, in fact, there's some here, I'm not sure if they're here tonight, or with the children's ministry, junior high kids that Carol and I had in our first youth group here in the North Hills, who are now teaching your junior high kids. And it's not quite a generation, but it's neat to see it coming. But one of the things that always just twings me a little bit is when someone will go off to school, and they'll be gone for a year or two, and you won't see them. They'll come back to visit you sort of unannounced, and pop in on you, and they'll walk in, and things will go back and forth, and there'll be this interchange, just kind of joking around, and so on, and so on. You'll say something, and they'll look up, and you'll say, You still haven't changed. Ever heard anyone say that to you? You're just the same as you always were. I don't like that, you know. I wish they wouldn't say that. I wanted to say, well, man, I really see a change in you. Because I know there's been change, right? You know, there's been, something's had to happen the last two years. But people always tend to see the things that haven't changed. People always tend to keep down on the things that are just the way they always were. You know, if you had a bad temper problem before you met the Lord, and you're still dealing with that. If you smoked cigarettes before you were saved, and you find the Lord, and you still smoke somehow, that's all people see. They don't see the joy in your heart, or the, you know, the blessing of God in your life. They just say, well, you're still smoking. Nothing much has changed in your life. But one of the signs, the surest signs, I know that God isn't working in us, is when we see change. There's a person here in the fellowship tonight. I don't think they're here tonight, but I'll use a different name anyhow. We'll call him Larry. Larry was a person, a young man in his 20s now, who was quite independent. Lived nearby here in the area. Went to North Allegheny High School a few years ago. Was in with the partying crowd, and the jock crowd, as they call them over there, and sort of the big-time group at North Allegheny High School in the 70s and early 80s, I guess. Used to do his own thing. And then a year ago, he met someone else who had another thing for him to do, and his name was Jesus. And Larry met the Lord, and I watched this happen, and we were in a Bible study with Larry and some of his friends, and I watched it happen. He'd come back week by week and say, my friends don't want to be with me anymore. Every time I go out with them, they're saying, you've changed so much. How come you're so different? Why don't you want to party anymore? Why don't you want to go out with us and raise a little hell? Then he came in some months later and said, you know, my parents don't like me anymore. I'm not doing the things that they're doing. His parents are both alcoholics, and he used to go out with them and drink on occasion, and now he doesn't do that, and they're saying, what's this religion? Why have you changed so much? And Larry's life, everywhere he goes, is a testimony to the fact that Jesus Christ changed him, and everyone who sees him sees the change and comments on that. Change is the evidence that God's at work in us. Amen? It's the evidence. Probably the greatest illustration of a changed person in all the Bible is a man by the name of Saul who became the Apostle Paul. We'll be turning to reading Philippians 3 in a moment, but just remember his background. Well, in fact, it's here, so let's look at it. He says in Philippians chapter 3, If anyone has reason, in verse 4, to put confidence in the flesh, I have more. Here's what, here are his credentials. Circumcised in the eighth day of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews, in regard to the law of Pharisee. As for zeal, persecuting the church. As for legalistic righteousness, listen, faultless. Here is a man who was a zealot zealot. I mean, he was so intense that he put the other zealots to shame. He was Gamaliel's number one student, the great teacher of that day. He was the rising star in the Pharisees little quadrant of people. The one that the Pharisee said, this guy's gonna, he's gonna come out and be the chief priest someday. He was the man that was causing it all to happen among the Jews. And in fact, he not only loved what was right according to his standard, he hated what was wrong according to his standard. And so he not only went after his way of doing it, he hated and persecuted people who went the other way. And we all know the story of Saul, going in the church, dragging out the Christians, going into homes and taking them out under arrest, putting them in prison for what they believed. The man was walking down the wrong path of life. You know, Jesus only had condemning words for one group of people in all the Bible, and that was the Pharisees, the religionists. All the rest of the people he had love and compassion for, the sinners. But the hypocrites and the Pharisees, and Paul was one of them. And then one day on the road to Damascus, he heard a voice in a bright shining light saying to him, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? Who are you, Lord? Saul asked. I'm Jesus whom you're persecuting. Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do. And from that point on, beloved, his life was radically changed. Listen to what his, I mean, the people around him didn't know what to do with him a few days later. Okay, once he began to preach in the synagogues in Damascus that Jesus was the Son of God, all those who heard him were astonished and said, isn't he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? Hasn't he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests? They couldn't believe it. In fact, he was so changed that the disciples didn't even trust it. They said, this is too good to be true. He's got to be putting this on. His whole life totally changed. And yet, beloved, with Paul, the change started dramatically, and then was a process. How many of you know how long it was before Paul went out into public ministry? Some say 14, some say 17 years transpired before he really launched his public ministry. What was happening in all that time? He was changing. He was changing. God was fitting him for his ministry. And so Paul could say with authority to the Colossian Church, that his desire was to present everyone perfect in Christ. His desire was to present everyone mature in the Lord. I want you to know something tonight. You need to know this. That's my desire. My desire is to present every one of you before the Lord mature in Christ. That's the goal of our church. We're going to present you mature to Christ. That's why we have this meeting. That's why you came out of your comfortable little house on a dark Wednesday night. Because you want to be mature in Christ. Amen? You don't want to get up there and say, well, I guess, you know, I made it. That's all that counts. Don't believe that that's all that counts. I want you to believe God has a destiny for you. God has a purpose for you. God is saying to you, just like he said to Jeremiah, I knew you before you were born. Before you even formed in the womb, I had picked you out and had a destiny in your life. That's not just something for one man centuries ago. That's for your life. God said there's good works that he has chosen for you to walk in. And so, beloved, how do we change to rise up into what God has for us? How do we go about becoming what God wants us to be? Now, let's look at Philippians. You're there in your Bibles. Let's look here. What Paul did, Philippians 3. He says in verse 7, whatever was to my prophet, I now consider lost for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I've lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ. The righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. He's tired of working for it. How many got tired of working about feeling good in God? If you went to religious churches for a lot of years, that's what you were doing. You were working to be accepted. He says, no, that comes from God and it's by faith. Now, verse 10 is where I want you to focus. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death and so somehow to attain to the resurrection. Paul, the great apostle, says his driving motivation in life is I want to know him. Say those words with me. I want to know him. Is that true? Is that what you want more than anything tonight? Is that what you want more than to be a Bible student? Is that what you want more than to be a great miracle working Christian? Is that what you want more than just to be a good parent? I want to know him. Jesus. That was the number one thing in Paul's life. And the power of his resurrection. Everywhere I go, I want to know that power. You know, Paul created a riot or a revolution. Everywhere he went. I was reading the end of the book of Acts the other day. He's a prisoner right on a boat that gets shipwrecked on the way to Rome on this little tiny island that nobody's ever heard about and no one ever heard of this whole Christian thing and he gets shipwrecked and he gets out and the guy, I mean, he first of all tells the ship that they're gonna wreck, tells the sailors don't even do it, but they went ahead and they wrecked and he said, God's gonna preserve us, which he did. And he gets out and this snake grabs a hold of his hand, this viper. And the people on the island said, hey, this man's a real criminal. I mean, the shipwreck tried to get him, didn't work, now the snake's really got him. This guy, he's good as gone. He shook the thing off. Remember that story? And the people were astonished. And then he went and started healing all their sick people. Read about that. How many know that just tends to just cause people to take a little bit of a notice to what's going on? Well, why? The power of the resurrection was at work in him. But it required some change, beloved. It required some change in his life and what I want to talk to you about tonight is how God changes us, just like he changed the Apostle Paul. You see, the Lord has been showing me increasingly the need for each of us to grab hold of this truth. You are God's ministers. You are the ones that God is going to use to change the world. He's not just going to use me or just going to use Scott or just use one of the elders or one of the home... He's going to use everyone in this church. And the Lord is showing me a picture, as it were, of our lives as keys in other people's hearts. And I shared this with the leadership on Saturday. And many of them said that this was really an insight for them that helped them to see where they're going. And I'm going to repeat a few things here. But I know it's okay to do that every once in a while. You can learn something a second time through, so just keep tuned in. You see, the key... We often think of keys as something that someone else shows us in the Word or some book that we read. Ever have someone give you a tape and said, You've got to listen to this tape, man. This is the key to your life. Well, I've got a thousand of those that people have passed on to me over the years. I'm still turning. But you know who the real keys in our lives are, beloved? The one right next to you. Brothers and sisters, people are the keys that God uses in our lives. Every time I look back at turning points in my life, God used a person. Do you say that? Think about it. A person. Someone shared their heart with me. Someone... I heard one time a man of God delivering a word. And I knew that I had to go and be part of that fellowship, because I knew that he was God's person for me to mature me in my walk for Christ. This was 1973. Every time I reached a turning point, it was a man that God sent. A key. I want to say to you tonight, you're a key. Turn to someone right now and say, you're a key. Tell them that. You're a key. You're a key. You're a funny-looking key. Tell them that. Do you know that 85% of the people that will ever come into this church, that will ever find Jesus Christ here as their Lord, 85% will do so because you're the key. Only 1 in 10 will hear about us on the radio through Dicatch or maybe see our sign or whatever and show up here. 1 in 10. 9 out of 10 will come because you're the key. 9 out of 10 will find Christ because you're the key. And how many of you know, beloved, that sometimes we stick our key, our life, into someone and it just doesn't work? You ever do that with a key of your own, you know? You stick it in there and it just doesn't work. I mean, I don't know how many prayer meetings we used to have at the open door years ago when we had one key in that thing. I had one key that somebody, I think, purposely bent. And we'd get there in those cold mornings, and we'd go in like, you ever do that? You finally got it to work. You see, you may know who God is putting your life into to unlock their bondage, to unlock their darkness. But right now it isn't working right. Right now the key is just not turning. The lock is still locked. Why is that? Well, maybe, and you say, well, what's wrong with that? You ever pull your key out and look at that lock and say, what's wrong with that lock? No, it's the key. I just want to share with you tonight some things, just real briefly, that God is doing to change you so that you'll be a key in someone else's life. Just like Paul, listen, was the key to the whole Gentile race. He was the key to the whole race of Gentiles coming to the world. The key. He turned the lock that set the Gentiles free in Christ. Oh, God. And you'll see in a moment why God had to do a lot of work on his life. Now, to have a key work, it's got to fit just right. It's got to, you know, all those things have to line up. And I only know one master key that will open every lock. His name is Jesus. That's right. And so we did a little overhead for you here. This is your life. This is what you look like. Now, let's just imagine, if you will, how many of you have ever had a key made in a hardware store or a Murphy's or something like that? You know what they do, right? They take your one key and then you buy a new one. Now, let's just say that this is your life. This is your key. This is you. And you've got a little indentation on you there. I mean, there are some things already happening in your life. But somehow, in order to turn the lock in the ministry that God has for you, you need to look like the master key, the key that opens every lock. And it looks like this one. Let's say that key is Jesus. Now, bear with us. Now, those two little prongs are holding those keys in place. And imagine the lathe, you know, the big lathe or whatever, you know, the grinding wheel and all that. Well, Lord, just follow this image, would you? You're a key. Jesus is the master key. The very first thing that has to happen in your life in order to be shaped into the image of Jesus is you've got to be, number one, locked into place. Write that down somewhere. Go ahead. I've got to be locked into place. What would happen if the handy hardware man at Ace is the Place started to try to cut that key off the master and it wasn't held right? It would just... What would happen to it? It would just fling right off there, wouldn't it? It wouldn't work. He couldn't make a clear indentation. He couldn't change it. Beloved, my experience over the years is that this is one of the reasons why people don't change. You want to know why we don't change? You want to know why we're just like we were 10 years ago, some of us? Because we've never been locked into a place where God can change us. We've never put our roots down and said, this is where I'm going to get changed by the glory of God. Just when God begins to fashion you, you start wiggling out of the lock and get away. Just when God begins to change you, to begin to work in your life, well, I don't like it there anymore. Too much singing, too many offerings or whatever the case may be. We find a reason, and beloved, so many people today walk in deception. Do you know that? People walk in deception. They think they're walking right because they are deciding where they're walking. They're deciding what their steps are going to be. Ever watch a child decide what they're going to eat? Give a four-year-old $10 and tell him to go buy some groceries someday. What's he going to come out with? Ho-hos and gum and ice cream, right? We are like that. We try to determine our own course, and I know so many people whose lives... I tell a story lots of times. When someone will come up and say, you know, so-and-so left the fellowship, and I'll be sure, we'll check, make sure that there wasn't an offense or something that was wrong, and if it was just for a reason of their own preference, I always tell them, I grieve about that because almost invariably I can tell you where that person will be in three to five years. The same place. Dealing with the same problems, the same rebellion, the same hurt, the same anxieties, the same frustrations. Why? Because they're not locked into place. Beloved, the way you deal with God's authority in your life and God's delegated authorities will go a long way to answering whether or not you're going to change. Are you with me? I don't know if you are. You want to know why the church just kind of never goes anywhere overall? Because people haven't learned the wisdom of God of being locked into place. This is where I belong. This is where God's going to meet me. This is where I'm going to change. That home group leader that's caring for your life is God's tool that we wiggle out and get somewhere else. Just when it gets a little bit uncomfortable, it's got to be a better group for me. I'm not saying that it's never wrong to move around. God will lead us from this church to another church. I'm not saying it never happens. But beloved, you know and I know when it just starts to be a habit. We just start flitting around. So the first thing is we've got to be locked into place. Number two, we've got to submit to the grinding wheel. We have to expect, beloved, that God is going to shape us with the grinding wheel. Well, I thought the Christian life was victory and success and overcoming all the time. Remember Paul that we were talking about? Listen to his victory walk here, 2 Corinthians chapter 11. This is the man who God used to be the key in all the Gentile world. He says, I've worked much harder than others. I've been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the Jews the 40 lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. I spent a night and a day in the open sea. Imagine his prayer life at that time. I'm going to die out here, God. You don't care about me? I've been constantly on the move. I've been in danger from rivers. Not white water rafting either. Probably just thrown into a river. In danger from bandits. In danger from my own countrymen. In danger from the Gentiles. In danger in the city. In danger in the country. In danger at sea. And in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep. I've known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food. I've been cold and naked. What was happening? God was shaping. God was fashioning him so that he could be the key that would unlock the hearts of thousands of Gentiles. And ultimately, you're sitting here because of Paul. If you trace it back. Every once in a while, we need to allow a little grinding in our life. We need to embrace the discipline of the Lord. Hebrews 12 says, Every son that God loves, he disciplines or chastens. Every one. Does God love you? Then he's going to discipline you. Why? Because he wants to make you hurt? No, because he wants you to become the key to open someone else's heart to the love of God. He wants you to be the key that's going to unlock someone else's bondage and set them free. You want to know why that boss of yours keeps drilling on you? You're under some financial stress, maybe? You want to know why that relationship isn't working out? Why? Because God is shaping. And that grinding wheel comes down. And so often, we just start rebuking Satan and getting angry right away. Have you ever thought, just for a moment, that maybe that grinding wheel was in the hand of God? Have you ever thought that just maybe God was in control? Sure, the enemy can be involved in that. Those circumstances aren't godly. But God uses even Satan to perform his purposes. You want to know some theological truth? That's theological truth. God uses Satan even to perform his purposes. And so before we just start collapsing under the weight, it's all over. I'm never going to make it. I won't ever grow up. God hates me. None of my prayers are answered. Beloved, you know what often we just end up doing? When that wheel comes down on us, we just start getting hot and bothered when the grinding starts rather than allowing God just to cut us and shape us in fashion. I know of which I speak because I've been guilty of the same thing. God will let something happen in my life, a circumstance or a person, and rather than letting it, embracing it, saying, Okay, Lord, I want to be changed. I start murmuring at that old thing, getting angry at it, blaming someone else for all the trouble they're causing me in my life. You ever do that? Complaining to God about how he never does this and never does that. I don't know. Sometimes God means those stumbling stones to be stepping stones for us to go on in Christ. We think they're there for our detriment. God meant them for good. That's the story of the Scripture. What should we do? Well, we should start praising God. When you feel the wheel come down, start praising God. When it starts to hurt a little bit. Listen, I think some of you are beautiful keys. I've seen some of you opening doors like crazy. Some of you are just about to see some doors turning. But God's got to bring the wire brush down now. You know, it only takes one little nub on that key to keep it from opening. You know that? I mean, if you have just one little up when you should have it down or one little up that's not up enough, it just doesn't work. You know that? And the reason why you haven't been able to see some of these things released is because God still needs to burn his shoe off a little bit. And he's doing it. Hallelujah. He's doing it to us. But we don't like it. But I'm appealing to you tonight. If you want to learn how God changes, start to praise him. Right in the middle of it. The third thing, and finally, just very briefly, that we need to do. We need to, number one, lock in place. Number two, we need to submit to the wheel and give God praise when we sense him disciplining our lives. Number three, God changes us by conforming us to the perfect image. We need not an image of a man, but an image of Jesus. One of the things that I know we are all susceptible to in this generation is the media image of who Jesus is. How many of you know that it's very tempting to turn on the TV set and watch somebody that you would name as being, well, that's really what a pastor is like. That's really what a man of God should be like there. And look at the crowds he gets, or look at this, or look at that. Look at the way he can just minister a word and all. Or you go to some conference and you hear someone say, well, this is how God let me lead 10 million to Christ this last week. Whatever. Do you know that we are all looking for a hero to put up there, and that's who my Jesus is. And I want you to hear me say this. I didn't say this on Saturday. I want you to hear it tonight, if you were here on Saturday. We need to let our image, the key, the master key, our Jesus, we need to let that image be revealed to us by the Holy Spirit. It cannot be another person. Don't let it be J. Passa, because this key has some funny tweaks in it yet that God's still working on. Don't let it be Keith Ripple or Jack Cornelius, or don't let it be Larry Van Gorder or Ruth Raycroft. It can't be Kenneth Copeland or Kenneth Hagin or Larry Lee or anybody that you may want to mention. This seems to be John Wimber. He's not Jesus. And, beloved, we're to model ourselves, but we are not to let them be our perfect image. You know what happens when you do that? You get a little distorted looking, because God never wanted you to be just like John Wimber. Shucks, you know? I know that's disappointing to some of you. He never wanted you just to be another Kathryn Kuhlman. He wanted you to be who you are in Christ. He wanted you to receive revelation knowledge for your life. How do you do that? Well, you just spend time with God. It's pretty easy, isn't it, Julie? God makes it real. You know, God just wants to show Himself as much to you as He does to you as He does to you as He does to me. Look at Matthew 16 with me. I'll conclude with this. It's very significant that the key we're talking about is linked with revelation right here. Verse 13 of Matthew 16. When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, Who do people say the Son of Man is? And they replied, Some say John the Baptist. Others say Elijah. And still others, Jeremiah, one of the prophets. See, who is Jesus? I heard a pastor recently saying this. Some say Jesus is John the Baptist. You see, the evangelicals today, they're like the ones who would say John the Baptist. He's straight, right, does things just properly, not tainted by the world, has His doctrine done right, looking for the coming of the kingdom. You know, that's evangelicalism. Just sort of the thing. People are coming to Him, baptizing and so on. Well, some say He was Elijah. This pastor was likening that to the Pentecostals because Elijah was one who was doing miracles and causing great, powerful things to take place. Elijah could see miracles happen. That's who Jesus is. Some say Jesus is like Jeremiah. You know, fundies, letter of the law, do it this way or you're wrong. You see, and all these Christians have all these different views of what Jesus is like. Isn't that something? Well, what is Jesus like? Well, He's like all of these. He's more than all of these. He's like John the Baptist. He's like Elijah. He's like Jeremiah or one of the prophets. He's Jesus Christ, the Son of God. That's who He's like. And church, we need to have an image of Jesus that comes right like this, verse 15. What about you, He asked. Who do you say that I am? And Simon Peter replied, You are the Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus replied, Blessed are you, Simon, son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the, say it, keys of the kingdom of heaven. Oh, church, revelation and keys. Know Christ, be a key. Three things you need to do to see God change your life. Get locked into place. Number two, welcome the wheel. Know that God's fashioning you for His own glory and to be used mightily of Him. And number three, let your image, let your master key be through revelation by spending time with God. Be at the place of prayer, soak in the Word, and God will show you what you're to be like. Let's bow our heads and pray. Lord, I just ask right now, Father, Father God, for the master key to be revealed to some tonight with a hungry heart, Lord. I just want to see right now, I want you to have an opportunity to respond to what the Lord was saying tonight. How many here tonight would say, I really want to change. I want to be more suited for what God wants me to do. I want to be an effective key. Let me just see your hand. All right, Lord, thank you for these hearts, God, because they're hungry for you. Hallelujah. Now, I want to see just if you can put your hand down. How many of you would say tonight that you know that the wheel of God's chasing has been on your life? Things have been happening and you've been, you've just been murmuring and angry about it underneath. God's been trying to shape you and you haven't been willing to do it. You've just been struggling with some things in your life. Let me just see your hand tonight. Hallelujah, Father God. Oh, God almighty. I believe the Lord right now is just going to allow you the privilege of just surrendering to that wheel and say, Lord, just go ahead and finish the work. Go ahead and grind me into that right position that I might be a perfect key, suited for that lock that I'm going to open. Lord, I don't know how far it's going to go, but great blessing is going to come. Glory to your name. Glory to your name. Praise your name. Yes. Lord Jesus, I want you to change me. I want you to change me. Let's stand together, church. If tonight the Lord is speaking to you and you know that he's been cutting in your life and you just need to surrender to that and you want to make acknowledgement that you want to change, then give this over to God right now. We're going to sing, Change My Heart, O God, and I want you to come and just speak. That's your statement saying, Lord, tonight I'm yielding to the wheel. I want to be made and cut in the image of God. I want to be effective as a key in your hand. Let's sing it together. Change my heart, O God. Make it ever true. Change my heart, O God. May I be like you. You are the reason why I pray. Change my heart. Make it ever true. Change my heart, O God. May I be like you. Praise the Lord. I know the Lord is moving many of you. Let me just restate what I want you to do here because I wasn't very clear about it. But I feel one of the most important things that we do here in this church is we come to God and we say, God, I publicly am saying I need you. I'm humbling myself in front of my brothers and sisters. I want to be changed. I want to submit myself. I want to repent. I want to turn. I want to be different. And God meets that step of faith. God sees it. God changes you. He encounters you. Now, if you know the Lord has been working in your life but you haven't surrendered to it, you know that something's happening and you want to see it done, you just want to change and take place, you come up right now before the Lord and say, okay, Lord, I yield to that, and I want to change. He'll see you in you. You come up right now, and we'll sing it again softly together. Change my heart, oh God. Make it ever true. Change my heart, oh God. May I be like you. Change my heart, oh God. Make it ever true. Change my heart. May I be like you. Can I invite you to church? I want you all to pray in your prayer language right now for these that are here. If you have a language of prayer, these are going to be changed tonight. The Lord is going to touch them tonight and release them. Go ahead. Start praying where you are, softly in your prayer language, but pray out loud, audibly and softly. Go ahead. Let the Spirit of the Lord touch these people right where they are right now. Praise God. Hallelujah, Lord. Break loose, God Almighty. The Spirit of the Lord would break loose on several of your lives right now. It's just going to fall on several of your lives. Just open to Him now. Welcome Him in. Say, Lord, change my heart right now. Do the work in my spirit. The Lord is indicating in my heart that there are a number of people here tonight in this service that would say that I've never really been locked into place. That's my need. I'