The Family, the Danger of Doing Nothing

This is North Way tape number 498. This message was delivered by Pastor Jay Passamont of North Way Christian Community on May the 4th, 1986. You just don't ever know how you're going to wind up weaving our life in with something. One of the ones that really got to me recently was I heard, some of you may have already heard this, but, you know, we're believing the Lord that we're going to have a little baptistry in up here when the project's done. And as the story goes on KDKA, they're giving away a hot tub, a jacuzzi, yeah, a jacuzzi. And they were looking over these entries at 5.30 in the morning and John Cigna and who's the other one? Fred Hansberger. Yeah, and who happens to be a Christian. And they're pulling out names in these entries about why, you had to write in why you wanted this hot tub. And someone wrote in there, I'd like a hot tub for my church because we need a place to do our baptisms. And it was signed, North Way Christian Community. I won't tell you which one of the pastors sent that in, you can figure it out. But, really, the interesting part was that that, I guess, launched into a 20-minute or so dialogue back and forth about baptism and, you know, why some sprinkle and why some dunk. And they got back and forth and it was really quite a, you know, live talk there at 5.30 in the morning on KDKA. So, bless the Lord. Well, there's so much that the Lord's doing and if you're looking for it, you know, and really that touches on what I want to just cover in the Word briefly tonight because there's such a difference for those who are willing to look to the Lord to be used than those who simply allow life to happen to them. I think it was Winston Churchill that said that all that evil needs to rule the world is for good men to do nothing. And, you know, though this isn't really where I'm going to take the teaching for tonight, I have been stirred in my inner man over the last several weeks by the number of people who are victims of what the Bible calls being blown about. In other words, I don't know if there's a difference between setting a course in life and moving in it and just finding your ship out there in the great sea and whatever wind comes along is where you go. And I'm more and more convinced in my heart that a lot of believers need to be set on course and know how to keep a course in the midst of a storm because what I see is people will launch out and something will come along and it just blows them right off into some other place where they never really wanted to go. And then all along the way they're trying to figure out why am I here and, you know, what's God trying to do this? And though we don't dictate to God, I really believe that God will give us a course and we'll be able to flow in it. Do you believe that? I mean, I think that's what Paul was talking about when he said, I've run my race. I've finished, what did he say? My course. And he knew what he was supposed to do. I'm praying for God just to simmer in my heart a series of teachings on this because too many well-grounded and doctrine kind of believers, too many very genuine, sincere believers are just moving about in a listless kind of directionless existence. And I just don't believe that's God's best. But I want to address today, this evening just for a little bit, the situation in our homes. And I want you to pray right now that the Lord will just help you to pick out what you need to hear and that He'll help me to say what you need to hear because there's more than enough material. It's just a matter of what's really right for tonight. So would you just maybe extend your hand right now and pray for me and I'll pray for you. Lord Jesus, we thank You that the authority tonight is Your Word. And God, Your Word is timeless and perfect in all that it teaches. And we pray, God, that Your Holy Spirit would make alive this Word to us. Lord, we're here tonight because we have a concern that we be men and women who are on a course and that we're not victimized, Lord, and that we know that we're moving in the plan that You have for our lives. And so we just pray right now that I pray for these dear ones who've come and set aside other things to hear Your Word. And I pray that life would be transmitted, that fear would be driven out, Lord, and that discouragement would be lifted, Father. And there would even be some revelation tonight in lives concerning what they might do to set their home in order and move in the things of God. And I ask it in Jesus' name, amen. I expect because of much of our, quote, religious training, passivity is sort of a hallmark of most of us in our early days as a Christian. You know, we were pretty much taught along the way that religion was something that was done for us and not a Christian walk that was done by us. And let me say this, specifically in our homes, my observation is that most families do not have a course of godliness set in their homes. Most families are relying on the grace of God and good intentions to see their children raised up or their spouses mature in Christ. Now listen, I don't want to begin by laying a guilt trip, but I want you to confront in you tonight, if I'm describing your situation, you have teenagers maybe and you're not praying with them, you're not in the Word with them. You might have little ones and the only time that you ever have together is grace, you know, you say grace. And it's with one eye open and kind of a little laugh underneath. I believe, if I'm hearing correctly, and I'm saying this based on this personal conversation and, you know, listening as people share and my own experience, that this is an area which we all want to do well, but find very difficult to do. Am I right? And I believe that the usual result of that is just passivity. Well, you know, I guess it's going to work out. I mean, I'm counting on it working out. Now there's two underlying attitudes that breed passivity and they are these. Number one, ignorance, ignorance. Hosea 4, 6 says, My people, what? Perish because of lack of knowledge. Perish. Whose people? God's people. I want you to know that we're not talking here about, you know, the unsaved families that are just off doing their own kind of crazy thing. We're talking about God's beloved, God's people perishing because of ignorance, a lack of knowledge. And I think this has to do in our homes with everything is, and a spectrum from profound things like spiritual warfare, and I'm going to talk a little bit about spiritual warfare in your homes tonight, all the way down to keeping a budget. How many of you find yourself perishing because you can't keep a budget? Go ahead and hit your husbands. I mean, you know, that is, so many people don't know how to manage their affairs in their homes. And ignorance can be bliss until this 18th of the month. And then ignorance, you know, I do that, I mean, Carol will say every once in a while, How much money do we have in the checkbook? Oh, I don't know. You know, so I said, Well, go write the check. Well, how many of you, that's not, that's not real wise, right? I mean, that's, that's asking for trouble and generally finding it sooner or later. Although I love our culture, now you have all kinds of protection plans you can get into and just be as ignorant as you want. You know, you have that bounce proof stuff and, you know, you can be as ignorant as you want until you get your statement and realize that you're paying incredible interest on stuff like that. But some ignorance is caused by just sticking your head in the sand, you know. I've heard people say, Well, I know things aren't right in my home, but I don't want to talk about the devil. I just want to focus on Jesus. I don't want to deal with the devil. I don't believe that, that he can be in my home because I'm a Christian. I just want Jesus and, you know, C.S. Lewis really said it well, there are two errors when it comes to dealing with the devil. One is to focus on him too much and give him too much attention, too much credit, and the other is what? To ignore him. To figure that he doesn't matter. If he gets you in either one of those extremes, you're heading into a territory which is going to cause you to miss God's way of establishing His authority and rule in your home. And I'll tell you, if you don't think the devil can work in your home, you're wrong. He can really do a number on our homes. And, beloved, it is happening. I mean, it is happening even in homes of believers. Let me give you a few very specific ways in which I see the devil at work in our homes. Here's one. John 8, 44 says that the devil is the father of lies. He works through lies in our homes. Now, you say, well, I don't lie to my husband or my kids. But do you accept lies such as, she'll never change, she'll always be that way. And that attitude comes from the pit. And when you impose that, he'll always be that way. Just accept him. You've allowed a lie to begin to permeate your household, which will become a bondage and an obstacle to faith. How about the lie that says we're never really going to get out of this financial hole that we're in? I'll tell you, I find with finances the devil works two ways. He lies to us in saying that, well, everyone else may be making it, and it seems like so-and-so is doing pretty well. Honey, we're just getting farther. We're never going to get out of this hole. And then the other lie that he comes up with is when you do find some prosperity and you're seeing your needs met, then how about his second favorite tactic? What is it? Guilt. I mean, look at you, right? Why do you get off with all this stuff while someone else doesn't have enough? So, you ever find that there doesn't ever seem to be a place where you can say, bless God, because you've got too much, you've got too little. And so, those are lies. How about the lies that he tells us about our kids? Like, are these my kids? There's so much I think of how the enemy says, he makes me look at myself and say, you're really not a very good father. Your kids are going to mess up. They're going to grow up and be really an embarrassment to the kingdom of God. Ever hear lies like that? You're hearing that stuff, and it's the enemy. He's lying to you. And if you buy that, if you come into it, that breeds a sense of passivity. What can I do? I can't change it. What am I going to do? And we allow those things to build into us. I know that I'm not the only one that's felt every once in a while, I'm a terrible parent. You ever feel that? I mean, just here my birthday a few days ago, David, my middle child, my first son, took the time to write out a birthday card. Aren't those always so special, you know? And what he said, I don't think he could have said anything that would have given me more liberty than what he said in that birthday. He wrote in there, he said, Dad, thanks for being such a great dad, and thanks for all the time that you spend with me. Oh, God, you know. I checked the name in the front. It had my name on there. It was signed. And boy, you know, though that isn't absolutely true, it was really just a great, it didn't give me liberty to say, well, great, I can spend less time with him and do more. It said, you know, it made me see how important to him it is just to be together. It made me want to be with him even more. But it mainly helped me to just put to death that lie, you know, that I was feeling. I heard one teacher that we've been kind of plugging into saying that lies only have power until they're exposed. Isn't that true? A lie only has power over you until it's exposed. Then it has no more power because you can call it what it is and say it's a lie. When we had this automobile accident a couple of years ago and someone ran into the back of our car, when it finally got there to, in front of the court down in Ross Township, what we heard coming from the magistrate was that this man had said, well, he really wasn't at fault because something had happened to him and he, you know, he was not responsible for what had taken place. And it struck some uncertainty and even some fear. Well, maybe, you know, $5,000 worth of debt here because of this thing. And that fear just gets a hold of you. It's a lie. But it turned out in that courtroom that he was exposed and the lie was revealed that he was really, you know, not only responsible but needed to be taken off the road, which he was. And when that power was broken, you see, then we were free. So lies in our homes, beloved, we need to expose it and we need to call it that. It's a lie toward one another and toward our children and toward circumstances. Now, another way the devil works in our home, our families, is through idols. You know, we read about idols. I'll tell you, when you read through the prophets and so on, you see idols in there. Don't think of those funny graven images with carvings on them, okay? Don't do that. I mean, or some little Buddha with a big fat tummy. That's not what it's talking about. We have our idols, do we not? I'll tell you. Someone prayed it tonight. Our culture has an idol of leisure. I mean, it is an idol what people do to get their leisure time. And we have such a country, beloved, don't we? I mean, oh, boy. I had the privilege when I flew out to meet with Fred on this trip. This was the first time in years that it was clear when I was flying. And I came in over the Grand Canyon, over the South Rim. How many of you have been there, the Grand Canyon? And, you know, right there where they have the park where you can pull right up. And we just flew right over that. And you could see it in perspective. And, you know, it just practically melts you down, so to speak, to consider the magnitude of God's creative power and so on. And just being caught up in the glory of it all, in the beauty of it all, and thanking God and praising Him for it. But our culture has begun literally. And the Lord spoke this to me a couple Sundays ago. You may have caught that. That many people are worshipping as an idol. More people are out running North Park on Sunday morning than are in church worshipping. I want you to know that. When I go home Saturday night after having time of prayer and seeking God, there's way more cars at Showcase North than there ever are here at church. It's going to change to the glory of God. I'm waiting for the day when there won't be enough parking, period, because of the power of God. And, you see, if I understand what this Bible says, there's more in here of life and power to wake the dead than there ever is going to be on some sort of a screen down at the Showcase. I'm waiting for that day. I go by there every Saturday night about 11 o'clock, and there's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people. There's hundreds of teenagers just running around. Ten, eleven o'clock at night just hanging out. The power of God. If it's not stronger than that, then we're in the wrong thing, aren't we? They're idols. Think of the stuff in our homes that are idols. We all struggle. What's the balance? Certainly God wants us to have some things to enjoy. He's given us the Bible says all things freely to enjoy. Nothing wrong with a boat. There's nothing wrong with having an old car to tinker with or to have nice antiques or whatever it might be. Nothing wrong with that. I love it. The devil can make a way to where you're working 16, 14, 16 hours a day to sustain that. How many of you know people in your place of employment where work is all they know in order to sustain their pursuits and their idols? Some of us have a newspaper idol. How many dads here would confess that you spend probably more time in the newspaper than you do in the Word? I had one brother tell me that the other day. Thirty minutes a day religiously. Finally, they had a word of knowledge and they cut off their subscription. Guess what? Life goes on. Yeah? Without the paper. But the obvious and most profound idol in all of our homes is what? There it is. People aren't here tonight, I'm sure, because 60 Minutes is on. Oh my God, 60 Minutes. If I don't see them tonight, what am I going to do? You know? And this isn't a teaching about the TV, but I just want you to know that there is so much, beloved, there is so much that's happening or not happening because of the TV set. I think that's what gets me wondering. I don't like the occult stuff that we all hear about. Masters of the universe this and demon troop that. You know, that's bad stuff. How many of you have the discernment to know that your kids shouldn't watch that? So I don't have to go on that, but I will say, think of what doesn't happen because of the most passive posture I know is the kid there like this. Or the dad and mom. There's no talking. There's no creativity. There's no interaction. It's just an idol. It's just sitting there, mesmerizing. Are you hearing me? I'm telling you, that's the thing that gets me about that TV set. God help us to be wise and discerning. I mean, for some, I think that means for some, throw it out or put it in the closet. And for others, it means at least a lot of control. It's not a babysitter. And it shouldn't be what you do on family night. We need to control. So anyhow, these idols come in and they just rob us of the things of God. The devil works in other things. In another area, and just very quickly is, he works through undermining of authority. And I believe this, and I don't want to develop this point tonight, but I want to say this. We talk about anointing. How many of you believe God can anoint your home? Would you like to live in an anointed home? Would you like people to be able to say, there's something about this home? They say it about the church. Why can't they say it about your home? You say, because my lawn looks terrible. Well, that's true. They can. They can say it about your home. Why? Because the same Holy Spirit that abides here, abides there. But one of the things that keeps that anointing from abiding in your homes, beloved, is the undermining of authority. And I have to say, it's twofold. It's men who don't know how to move in spiritual authority in their homes. And then it's oftentimes women who won't allow men to move in it. And children just, they ride the rail. How many kids know just where to get, to get by, right? God help us to be discerning in this. I don't have time to develop it, but I think this is a big area. And if you... Women are meeting this week again, aren't they? And I know as time goes on, this is one area. They're going to help women to come to terms with it. Men, we need godly authority in our homes. I'm convinced that that authority, that anointing that comes down over Aaron's beard and over his robes, works in the home. And dads, if you'll take your place in the home and move in the authority of God, that anointing of God is going to be there. And with that anointing comes power to deal with things and peace and joy. There's just so much I could talk about. But don't... Listen, don't be fooled in thinking that if you're ignorant about a lot of this stuff, it's not going to really matter. Turn to 1 Samuel 2 for a second. I want you to see this. 1 Samuel 2. Which is... I'm sorry, in the middle. Did you get out your Braille Bibles there? This is really... I think this is the worst it's going to be. I think next week we'll have some lights here in the Senate. Now, I don't want to read all the verses, but I do want you to pick up with me 1 Samuel 2 about Eli the priest and his son... Put that flashlight out, Butch. Come on. Shh. You ought to hurt somebody, Butch. He's got his Bible out. You can come up here, brother, if you want to use these lights. This will free you up some. Now, verse 12. Eli's sons were wicked men, and they had no regard for the Lord. Now, right there, there's something wrong in Eli's wicked, right? Now, it was the practice of the priest with the people that whenever anyone offered a sacrifice, and while the meat was being boiled, the servant of the priest would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand, and he'd plunge it into the pan or kettle or cauldron or pot, and the priest would take for himself whatever the fork brought up. This is how they treated all the Israelites that came to Shiloh. But even before the fat was burned, the servant of the priest would come and say to the men who were sacrificing, Give the priest some meat to eat, meat to roast, and he won't accept boiled meat from you, but only raw. And then it goes on and on. All right. Look at this in verse 16. The man said to him, Let the fat be burned up first, then take whatever you want. The servant answered, No, hand it over now, for if you don't, I'll take it by force. The sin of the young men was very great in the Lord's sight, for they were treating the Lord's offering with contempt. Now, you don't need a long explanation of that. But simply what they were doing there is they were violating a privilege that God had given them of serving in the sacrificial offering system. And they were offending God. And the sin was very great in God's eyes. All right. But Sam was ministering before the Lord, a boy wearing a linen ephod, and his mother made him robes. Now, verse 20, Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, saying, May the Lord give you children by this woman to take to the place of the one she prayed for and gave to the Lord. See, Eli was doing his job. He was faithful. In verse 22, Eli was very old and heard about everything his sons were doing. You see, beloved? His ignorance was revealed. And how they slept with the women who served at the entrance of the tent of meeting. And so he said to them, Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. Beloved, may it never be said of you. I hear of all the people about the wicked things that you're doing. No, my sons, it's not a good report that I hear spreading among the Lord's people. If a man sins against another man, God may mediate for him. But if a man sins against the Lord, who will intercede for him? Now, I want you to know, Eli was a godly man. And my point in sharing this story with you is, just because we're godly, there's no guarantee that our kids are coming under that influence. We've got to take a step to see that it happens. We've got to move out of the passive and into the active. And when Eli discovered this heinous thing that his sons were doing, beloved, it was too late. Verse 25 at the end, His sons, however, did not listen to their father's rebuke, for it was the Lord's will to put them to death. The boy Samuel continued to grow in stature in favor with the Lord and with the men. And then the next part of the story tells us that his sons, both of his sons, were killed. Now, you say, well, is this a life or death thing? I guess I feel, beloved, that many of us believe that our children are saved. And if they're not saved, we have great hope that they will be. But I want to ask a very hard question here. Because it is life or death. Because I have to ask the question, why are so few of our young people really on fire for Jesus? I want you to know, as I see the people in our church worshiping, it is not our young people that are really worshiping. As I hear of testimonies of what's happening, it very rarely includes the young people. And I want you to know, I don't blame our youth staff for that. I don't hold them accountable exclusively for it. Now, I am encouraging them, and we're working with them. But, beloved, it is not enough simply to see our kids hanging on to the faith, hoping that when they get to college, they won't fall away. I believe God wants us to see our kids raised up as servants of God, whose highest priority is to love Jesus Christ and to serve Him with all their hearts. I believe God wants to see our kids serving Him out in the mission field out in the streets, in the inner city, wherever God would send them. And it's just not enough to say, well, I guess they're going to be good kids. I want you to know, this is a hard thing to share because it ultimately points back to us and says, well, are we doing what we're supposed to do? And I want to submit to you that one of the reasons why is that we need to be more active in the impartation of God to our kids. And I stand here as one who needs to do it as much as I'm preaching to those who need to do it. How many of you want kids who want nothing more than the will of God and they want to honor Jesus Christ? Do you want that? I want that, but I'll tell you something. It won't happen by passively just protecting them from all the wiles of the devil and some kind of, well, you can't go to parties. We need to train them up. And ignorance is one of the underlying things. And you know what the second one was? The second thing, attitude, that brings about passivity? It's laziness. With a capital L. It's laziness. And laziness comes about many times because exhaustion sets in. And we're too tired to give our kids any quality time. I don't know. I'll tell you, if you're like me, when 9 o'clock comes around or 8.30 on a night that I happen to be home, I have to muster every little cell of energy in me to gather the kids together and do something with them. How about you? Great, let's just get down and get in the Word. I find they've got more energy than I do most times. And it takes a lot of us. And I know what it's like. And so I'm not saying this as someone who has it all figured out. But I want you to know that laziness means that just when you feel like you're... How many of you know when you feel like you're right there and you're facing three or four obstacles to get your child to begin to just talk to you some? You know, I try to take each one of my kids out individually for a little while and talk to them. Just talk to them. Hear what's happening in their lives. You know, it's a strange thing to have a conversation with a six-year-old sometimes. You know? It's just... I mean, I'm moving in here for some revelation knowledge. Jonathan, do you see that God really has this terrific... You know. Oh, Dad, look. Pickles on my hamburger. It's exactly what I don't like. You know? And you try to figure out what... How do you do that? You know? And you know what you end up wanting to do sometimes? Is you just... Oh, well. You know. They'll be around a while. But I hear from people who have grown children now, they're not around that long. And we need to be out there. I see a lot of young parents here with little kids. We need to be there with them. We need to work through those difficult times, that awkwardness. And we need that with our spouses, too. Am I right about that? How many times is it difficult? There they are. You know, sometimes the hardest person to pray with is your wife. Isn't that weird? That shouldn't be that way. It's okay to laugh, okay? Because it's true. I mean, you know. I'll call my brother. I'll call Scott. I'll call Gene or whatever. Why is that? Because the devil knows that he can keep you separated. He's cut off the power. The power of agreement. God, that's the profound thing about marriage. There's the power of agreement one to another. And if the devil can keep you out of that, he just pulls the plug on you. And so I want to overcome that laziness that doesn't plow through that obstacle and say, God, let me make a partnership out of my marriage and with my children. Let me just give you these five quick things to conclude here. What can we do? Well, number one, and I think this is really significant as a starting point, see your home as God's territory. I want you to see your home as a place where God should dwell in power. I just want you to see that. And I want you to even make a statement about it in your home. A little plaque on the door is a starting point. Make a statement. This is God's place. And He's going to rule here. Tell the devil that. Don't give him that territory. Don't even let him get his foot in the door. I'll tell you something. If you think that there's just some kind of spiritual power resisting the flow of God in your family, and you're free to do this, have your home group one night anoint the place with oil and pray over it. Do that. You say, well, that's just kind of mystical. I don't know. There's great power that's released. There's great power that's released. By faith, you do that very thing. Anoint that place with oil and believe God to take authority over those things there. Number two. Begin to take authority over the enemy in specific situations. I'll tell you this. I know, I can tell you times when I've bound the devil over situations in my home. I've bound, and I just told him flat, get out of here. You say, well, that's pretty radical to tell, you know, someone maybe just... Do you think things happen in your home that you just really can't explain? Maybe there's anger there, there's frustration there that just shouldn't be... Well, the devil comes and he torments and he just keeps knocking on you. And we need to start hating the stuff that God hates. You know that? We need to start hating it. Let me tell you, that TV set, getting back to the thing, don't just fluff off stuff that comes to that TV and, well, you know, so there's a few swear words in it. I mean, forget that. Just take authority over the enemy. You know, David said in Psalm 139, talking about his feeling, if you will, about the things that were evil, he said this, Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them. I count them my enemies. And you know, it's time for some of us in our homes to quit just like winking at sin that comes into place. I'm talking about get the stuff out of there. And you'll find that your kids will honor you. They'll murmur at first perhaps, but get it out of there. Take authority over the enemy. Number three, develop a strategy. I would think it would be great wisdom to some of us to partner with another couple and say, Would you join with us as we pray about how God might become more influential in our home? Be willing to say, I need help in my home. Now listen, I'm also seeing here right now a number of people who are single and maybe you don't have a home right now or a place where you have a family, but you have a home. These things are true for your home. You all have a home. Even if it's with somebody else that's not a family member. And many of these same principles apply, but most of all they'll apply to you in discovering God's plan for your future. So, if you're taking notes on this, it's stuff that will really apply to you if you'll let it. Develop a strategy. I'll tell you, don't... don't let the enemy divide you from those who can help you to do that. Training is part of it and so forth. Number four, learn to move in forgiveness. Learn to move as one who forgives. Ephesians 4 says, let me read it to you, about keeping the devil off your back. Listen to this. 4.26 In your anger do not sin. And do not let the sun go down while you're still angry. And do not give the devil a foothold. You see, anger and unforgiveness give the devil a foothold. How many of you have had a miserable night's sleep because of that Scripture? You let anger go down, or sun go down on your anger at night. You toss and turn and don't get results. Learn to forgive quickly. Learn to come to forgiveness. And that just drives... the enemy hates that. It drives him far away. Finally, this has been very important in our household, and it's helped us a great deal. Learn to establish a spirit of praise in your home. I rejoice in the fact that most... everything we own that's electronic has spiritual stuff coming out of it. I love that. I mean, it's so much better in my household because we don't have DVE and Q94 and all these other things on there. We have... What's coming out of there is exalting the Lord. It's the Word of God most times. And there isn't... That plus the verbal praise that the Lord gives us, that makes a difference in our home. How about you? Does that... That makes a difference in my home. What comes out of my TV set more often than anything else is something that... It's either Christian programming or what's happening in the world. What comes out of the radio all the time and on the records and tapes. And that spirit of praise, beloved, it lifts the burden. It drives... The enemy hates it. I'll tell you what, you want to keep him away, just start turning up the praise knobs. And that gets him way out of the place. And th