Sounds Like A Plan V, For Positive Change

Let's get right into today's subject. We're calling it God's plan for positive change. This is the fourth message if I'm counting right in this series on God, or sounds like a plan, a plan that God has for specific ways in which he can speak into our lives and bring about transformation. And last week Keith Kraft, if you missed last week's message, talked about unity and alignment and the power and strength there is for transformation. You might want to get that tape in our tape ministry through those doors after the service today. But you know in America, we don't have much patience for losers, do we? I mean, think about it. An athletic team has a losing season or two. What happens? Resignations are called for, ticket sales go down. We don't have much patience. Of course, we know quite a bit about that here in Pittsburgh. There's an old phrase out there, when you're hot you're hot, and when you're not, you're not. And that has to do with the spring of success that people expect of us. We love our winners in America. We canonize, you know, those who are champions. We adore our achievers, and we sanctify the successful. And in fact, the rich and famous have almost become our royalty. Everyone wants to be a success. I don't think I've ever heard someone say, you know, my goal in life is to be a failure. Wouldn't make much sense, would it? Now, the problem is that the ambition, however, to be a success according to the world's definition, puts an incredible measure of stress on everyone who sets out to fulfill that goal in the world's way. Some people will do anything to avoid the stigma of failure. They'll lie, they'll cheat, they'll steal, they'll step on others, they'll abuse their families and their loved ones in order to succeed. Someone once asked me, Pastor Jay, do you know the unpardonable sin? I'm afraid I've committed it. I said, well in America, it's to be a failure. That's what no one wants to be called. And so as a result, we have this fear of failure. You know, what will happen to me if I don't make it? What's going to happen if, I mean, what will people think of me? What's going to happen? My family, are they going to love me? Are they going to still accept me if I don't live up to their expectations? Am I going to be an embarrassment to them? Will people think less of me? Will my own esteem fall to the ground? And folks, these kinds of things drive us more than we know. It's a pretty universal fear from what I've been able to discern in people. Many times the fear of failure will lead you to do some strange things, to make some weird choices, or in some cases to make no choice at all for fear of making the wrong one. Some people will become workaholics because they're afraid if they fail, well, I mean, that would be the worst thing. So they work 70, 80, 90-hour weeks, and they realize that that's not guaranteeing them the success either. Some people become perfectionists and become hard to live with. But failure is a part of life. And as in fact, I read the Bible, God uses failure many times in the lives of people who wanted to follow him in order to bring about the changes that they desire. Look on your outline. Those of you who are smart are gonna fill in the blank. Those of you who aren't, just gonna stand there and ignore me, but I'm gonna encourage you to do this. God's pathway for positive change is often marked with failure. It is often marked with failure. So what do you do when you fail? Well, number one, when you fail, and you're gonna fail, number one, remember, everybody does. And you're gonna see some images of some sports figures up here that you say, well, those are champions. Well, every one of those champions has had some kind of a failure. Make no mistake about it. We're all gonna fail. In fact, look at the first scripture, James 3, verse 2. What does that say? We all stumble in many ways. Some of you could give a testimony right now that you're amongst those who have stumbled. Well, this room is full of people who could give stories about their own failure. I had someone come up to me a couple weeks ago and say, you know, I'd like to do this particular ministry, Pastor Jay, but I'm afraid I might fail. And you know what I said to him? It's not a matter of if you're gonna fail. It's just a matter of how many times. That becomes the question. How many times will I fail and keep on going? Here are the facts of life as I understand them. Number one, you have all failed at some time in the past. Number two, you are failing in some area of your life right now. And number three, you're gonna fail again and again and again. That's the end of the message. That's all gone. Now, I wouldn't leave you there. Ecclesiastes 7.20 says, there's no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake. So, I I'm not just spouting words here. This is real important. Can we all agree that from time to time every one of us is gonna fail and it's okay. And in fact, it may be even ordained of God. And I'm gonna tell you why in just a second. Everyone fails. I've discovered that people come closest to perfection during their job interviews. They tell you exactly what you need to know about them in every respect and how they're a perfect fit for your company and their entire resume is a story of their perfection filled lives. But that's not true, is it? I mean even superstars fail. I've been watching some of the NBA playoffs. Have you? I mean those guys get paid eight, nine, ten million dollars a year to miss half the time. Shaq misses two-thirds of his free throws. I mean the best baseball players miss the ball seven out of ten times. Just getting a hit. I mean, it's incredible. Romans 3 says, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Everyone falls short. Jack Hayford, who was a mentor and a friend of mine, is a pastor, said this in one of his messages. He was getting excited about it. He said, Church, we need to thank God that he forgives our falling shorts. Okay, well he said that. I'm just quoting what he said. They got it more than you did. But we need to let go of the need to be perfect. And I want us as a church just to say we're not all going to be perfect. You need to understand that. Now, when I was preparing this, I just got prompted that there's someone out here right now. There's a someone who's inclined to know the Bible that's saying, you know, Pastor Jay's slipping. Because there is a verse that says, be ye perfect even as I am perfect. If you know where that is, whisper it to your neighbor right now. You're the ones who are just saying, I'm going to go up and tell him afterwards that it says in the Bible. Well, the word perfect in Matthew 5 48 is the word that means to be complete or fully matured. And it's the word that's used when an apple can be used of an apple when it's green and not yet ripened. It is still considered to be perfect because it is in the process of maturing into fullness. And so what God is saying isn't that you're flawless, that you make no mistakes. He's saying that you are maturing, that you are in the process of being like your father. You're accepting his grace toward maturity. That's what it means to be perfect. All right. So number one, everybody fails. Number two, the way you handle failure is to realize that it's not fatal. This is key because failure incorrectly understood can be extremely dangerous. In fact, blown way out of proportion and leave the things that are worse than the failures themselves. There are people here today, I'm sure, that are suffering from depression that has gotten to be worse than the failure that brought it on. Some have gotten into addictions because they failed and then addiction becomes worse than the failure itself. I was watching just a little part, I think it was 60 minutes this week, a story of a young farmer. And the wife was with a support group and she was reading this crumpled piece of paper from her husband who wrote in the paper. He said in the paper, he said, I failed you. I failed the kids. I failed as a farmer. I can't bear to live anymore. So he took his own life. Now there's an illustration of where the failure wasn't nearly as bad as the result. I mean, how's that going to help his wife and little ones? Failure won't kill you. The fear of failure is often worse than the failure itself. And interestingly, the more talented you are, the higher your level of expectation of yourself, the more inclined you are to fear failure and do weird things to avoid it. Um How many of you have ever been in a seminar or a conference or maybe a classroom and you've known the answer to a question, but you didn't raise your hand for fear you might be wrong. Look at this right now. How many of you right now didn't raise your hand? Just my illustration is perfect. A lot of you, well, I don't know, is it a trick question? I mean, no, okay. We probably all have done that. Look at, I love this next verse, Proverbs 24 16. Look at this one. No matter how often an honest man falls, he always gets up again. And all of us are going to fall. The key is, will you get up and keep going? And that becomes one of the most consistent characteristics of people that end up succeeding in life. They fall down, but they get up again and again and again. They come back again another way. They try it again. They do it another way. And that, you see friends, is lacking today. So many people are afraid that they just crawl back in. And I'm talking about everything from relationships to faith to achievements. You've got to be able to get up and go again. I want you to watch this video clip from one of my favorite movies of all time, Chariots of Fire. This to me kind of captured the heart of why Eric Little became an Olympic champion. Watch up here on the screen. A person who quits is a person who falls into failure. Look what the Apostle Paul says. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed. Perplexed, but not in despair. Persecuted, but not abandoned. Remember, this is a godly man. Struck down, but not destroyed. The Phillips translation reads, knocked down, but never knocked out. You see, you're never a failure, dear ones. If you don't quit. You just keep coming back and saying, Lord, fresh grace, fresh power. So how do we overcome the fear of this failure? Well, I want to submit to you that one of the reasons why failure holds us is because we defined it the wrong way. Failure isn't having a dream and then losing it. Failure is not having a dream. Failure is not having a goal and not attaining it. Failure is just not being willing to set a goal because you're afraid you might not meet it. Failure is not falling down. Failure is refusing to get back up. And whether it applies to business or your career or sports or spiritual growth or commitments that you've made to the Lord or relationships or ministry, you can't quit. I've heard people say this out of discouragement in terms of their walk with the Lord. People say, well, you know, and by the way, don't put up your hand this time, but some of you made commitments to the Lord this year to read your Bible more regularly. I mean the new millennium and you said I'm going to start this new millennium and I'm going to get up 15 minutes early and read my Bible and have my devotion. Or some of you make commitments financially. You said, Lord, I'm going to be more faithful in my giving. And now here it is, you know, about halfway through the year and you've stopped getting up and you've stopped this and you've stopped that and you're feeling, well, you know, what's the use? And you're quitting. Another simple question. How many of you remember in the last year, let's say, missing a meal? I mean you were in a hurry and you just didn't have time for lunch or maybe you got up late for work and didn't have breakfast. Anyone remember missing a meal? Let me see your hand. Now, what did you do when you missed that meal? Did you say, I am such a loser? I'm so inconsistent. I'm so undisciplined. I'm so disorganized. No, you didn't do that. What did you do? You made up for it the next meal, right? I mean you just just pigged out a little bit more and had twice as much. Can I just suggest to you if you've missed times with God, then just, you know, the next time you sit down, spend more time with him. You know, if you failed in a commitment in some way to serve or to give, then just, just increase it the next time and you'll find that you'll begin, as it says in Romans 12, to renew your mind to believe that you're going to succeed instead of expecting to fail. Many of our great leaders in our nation were failures and so, did you know that George Washington lost two-thirds of all the battles he fought in? And yet, he was considered one of our great generals and the founder of our nation. That Napoleon Bonaparte, the conqueror of all of Europe, graduated 42nd in his class of 43. That Babe Ruth, the home run king, who hit 714 home runs, struck out 1,330 times, almost two to one. You never hear that. That R.P. Macy, who founded Macy's department store, the upscale department store, had seven bankruptcies before he succeeded in establishing the store that we, most of us know about now, have seen. I mean, if at first you don't succeed, big deal. Do you know how many times we tried to find a piece of property to build on for this church? You know, we spent years just trying to build down in Wexford, behind the old restaurant where we were. And if we'd given up, we could have just said, well, I guess we're just supposed to stay in this little building. And half of you wouldn't be here today if we'd made that choice. We just wouldn't give up. So, realize it's not fatal. Then number three, recognize the benefits. This becomes the crucial issue. See that when you fail, God can use it for change. Wise people make the most of their failures, and they use them to their advantage. I've come to believe, folks, that the only way, the only way that we can grow at times is to have to confront failure in our lives. Think about the Bible characters that come to mind. Did Abraham ever fail? Hello. Yes, he did. Yeah, he denied that he was married to one of his wives at some point. I'm not married, it's my sister. Did Moses ever fail? Yeah, he killed an Egyptian. Did King David, the man after God's own heart, ever fail? Absolutely. Did Peter ever fail, the Apostle to the Jews, the one who Jesus called the Son of Thunder, who, I'm sorry, the one that Jesus looked at and said, you know, upon this rock, this rock of Revelation, that Peter sort of embodied, I'm going to build my church. Peter failed dramatically. I mean, he failed publicly and personally. When Jesus needed him the most, he said no. I don't even know if he knew the man. And yet, I find it astonishing that when Peter was despairing and weeping, the Bible says he went out and wept bitterly, that when Jesus came back from the dead, the angel told the women to go and find the disciples and Peter. It made a point of saying, I know Peter's hurting, go find him. And in John chapter 21, Jesus spent extra time just affirming to Peter his love and his acceptance. So God knows that we struggle. Now, it's not an excuse to fail, but it should give us hope when we do fail. How does God use it? Well, number one, he uses it to educate us. Mistakes are part of the learning process. If something isn't working, we have to change. Trial and error. I mean, that didn't work, this didn't work. I'm gonna find an illustration for everybody. How many of you are golfers? I get golfers. We have a professional golfer in the front row. This may not apply to you, Jody, but how many golfers here realize that there are things that you need to change about your golf game and you failed to make a couple shots. And what do you do? Give up on golf? I did, but what what do you do? You change your grip, you change your club, you know, you change your stance. You just, you keep, it's trial and error. I mean, I think God maybe created golf to teach humility to most people. But it's just simply part of the game. It's an adaptation. Trial and error. That's how you learn. Here at North Way, we've tried lots of things that worked and a lot of things that I have to say didn't work. But we kept on trying. We learned from them and kept moving forward. Oftentimes, failure will lead us back to the Bible. Look at the next verse. My troubles turned out all for the best, the psalmist writes, for they forced me to learn from God's textbook. How many of you found that when you failed, you said, I got a I need something, and you pulled the Bible maybe that you hadn't read for a while and said, God speak to me from you. Have you ever done that? I mean, because when you really needed it, it turned to it. Absolutely. And beyond that, if you don't fail now and then, just imagine what you're going to become like. I mean, you won't take any risks. You won't, see, without, without the willingness to fail, you won't take risk. And if you don't take risk, you're not exercising faith. If you're not exercising faith, that's another term in the Bible called unfaithful. You're not a person of faith. I'm encouraging all of you, listen, all of you, risk something for God. Believe God for a dream that you have in your heart to see something happen and say, you know what? With your help and your encouragement and the support of the team here at Northwest, I can do something for God. I'm willing to risk it. The freedom to fail, you might want to write this down in one of the just blank spots. It's not on your outline, but the freedom to fail is the freedom to grow. You have the freedom to try and to fail and unless you do, I don't believe you'll do anything great for God. Proverbs 28 13, a man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. Failure educates us. And by the way, can I say a word to parents? How many parents are here today? Parents. You know, one of the things that I've learned over my 24 plus years of parenting is that we need to be careful that we all have a tendency, parents, to want to shield our little darlings from the harmful things of the world. And I want to just issue just a bit of a word of warning. I see a trend, you know, that there's this thing out there that nobody, you know, everybody gets the same grade, everybody performs the same, everybody this and that. Well, if you do that, if you protect your little darling from from losing now and then, you may feel like you're helping and sheltering them, but in the end you're not really helping them. Because the real world is not that way. In the real world, sometimes you win and I lose. And so it's better to help a child come to grips with, hey, maybe it didn't make the cheerleading squad. Life's gonna go on, you know, maybe it didn't get the t-ball home run hitting championship. It's okay. Life is more than that. And parents just need to give your kids the opportunity to grow in that way. Look at letter B. Not only does God educate us, but God motivates us. He motivates us. through these failures. This one may be obvious, but it's very very important. Look at that next verse. I love this verse because I believe it's probably the truest for my life of any on the page. Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. I'm gonna get say, that's me. I've heard it said this way. We don't change when we see the light, we change when we feel the heat. And that's commonly the case. Elijah, the prophet, I mean he was obeying God. God sent him out to the brook here. And he was feeding him with the ravens and the brook was coming and he had refreshment. And then for no reason the brook dried up. And Elijah said, Lord, what's this about? And the Lord said, I have another mission for you. And that's when he sent him to Mount Carmel to fight the prophets of Baal. It was time for him to move on. I just have a question, a thought came to mind. How many of you have been living by a brook of God's goodness and it's dried up? Maybe you were in a relationship with somebody and it's dried up. Maybe you were on a road of financial success and it's dried up. Maybe your career was fulfilling and now it's turned south on you. Maybe your marriage was meaningful and rich and rewarding and now it's bone dry. I don't believe for a moment that everyone in this place has everything going the way you thought it should go. What happens when that brook dries up? Does God abandon you? Not at all. God's trying to get your attention. He's trying to redirect you to take some positive steps to make some positive changes. We had a couple here in North Way for a number of years who I worked with and a lot of other people did to try to help them through some they went in some entrepreneurial things that failed one after another and they got way upside down with their bills and they could not get out of debt and they had to declare bankruptcy and it was a very embarrassing time and difficult time for them. And I just talked to them recently and they they relocated and they have stepped into an entirely new situation and God's blessing them and they they said in all humility that they've been changed for the better for those painful painful years, but they had to go to that difficult place. And finally God uses change to benefit us by cultivating life in us. See there's some things that just won't happen without suffering a loss. We've got to go through it and you know why that is? Listen, because you are just like me. You are inclined to want to do it on your own and that pride thing will cause us to stumble every time. Imagine what you'd be like if you always won. Imagine what you'd be like if you always had the right answer, if you never made a mistake, if you always win every argument. How would you be like to live with? How would you be living with someone like that right now? I mean you would be one pompous person, right? Ego driven, prideful, and impossible. The Apostle Paul was very very fruitful in his ministry, but look what happened when he prayed for something in his life. He had this thorn in the flesh and people didn't know what it was exactly and commentators have never really landed on what it is or was, but he says three times I pleaded with the Lord take it away from me, but he said to me my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect. Here's the man who prayed for people to be healed, the man who was the Apostle to the Gentiles, the man who started churches all throughout Asia and Europe and he just simply wanted to be lifted from this oppression and God said no. Why? Because he wanted him to be dependent on God. He wanted him to know that he didn't get everything that he wanted when he wanted it. Look what he says. Paul says then we can rejoice when we run into problems and trials for we know that they are good for us. So how many of you just say that every time you run into a problem or trial? I mean if someone backed into your car today after church and you go out there and you say well, Lord, thank you that I'm going through a problem or trial right now. I have this gigantic gash in my bumper. No, what would you do? You'd come running in here and say who you know and you'd take down the bumper. We're all inclined that way, but God says when these things happen they develop strength of character. They help us to grow. The problem is when we go through it sometimes it's so painful we don't know if we can make it. I want you to hear a story this morning of a couple that went through a very very painful time in their life. A time that went on for a number of years and they honestly didn't think they were going to make it. And I want you to listen to their testimony because it's going to inspire some of you to hope. It's going to inspire some of you to trust God in ways you never had. It's going to inspire some of you to believe that God can make you free from the chains of failure. Let's give a warm welcome please to Mike and Pat Sammarini as they come to share their testimony. Let's welcome them. Thanks so much for staying Mike. You may recognize I'm Michael, you may not. Actually he was played the Apostle Paul in our Woodstained Red presentation. He was sort of the narrator of that. Had a beard. Yeah. You did an awesome job too, didn't you? I thought it was terrific. Go ahead. Good morning. I'll share a little story with you before we get into our testimony. I told the first service so you don't miss out on it. You notice my wife was limping as she got up on stage and when we met with Susie McCabe in anticipation of doing her testimony she warned us that you know when you give a testimony like you're about to give you might run into some problems with the enemy afterwards and if you need prayer see us afterwards and you know we'll stand by you and we'll pray. Well what no one anticipated was we got hit before we gave the testimony. It was my wife's knee that went out and we had some things going on at home and finally my wife had enough presence of mind to say you know what Michael we're getting hit now. We're not going to get hit afterwards. So we weren't supposed to give this message but you know God's going to win and we're going to give the message and I was sitting just one more thing one more thing real quick. I was sitting down and I thought okay Lord we made it. We're here. Nothing else can go wrong. I was sitting there, and I felt so good and Pastor Jay in the first service put on the video of chariots of fire and God said it's not over yet your zippers down. I told pastor I thanked him for putting the video on in the dark. You're looking at a miracle. Apart from the incredible redemptive power of Jesus Christ. We would not be standing here together. On December 29th 1979 I married the beautiful woman you see standing here next to me. Although I had accepted Christ only several months earlier. I was in essence still living in the world. I married Pat not because I loved her or because it was God's plan for my life. But because she was a good Christian girl who came from a stable home. I had grown up with a lot of anger and emotional abuse and a great fear of abandonment. I thought Michael be practical even though you do not necessarily love her. She's beautiful. She loves you. She won't cheat on you. Be pragmatic and marry her. A number of my friends were taking bets the day of our wedding as to how long it would be before I would tire of Pat and begin running around. I had been sexually active most of my teenage and early adult years. It never occurred to me that marriage meant commitment and faithfulness. Immediately following the wedding we moved to New York City to pursue acting careers. Pat was somewhat frightened of the city and needed time to get acclimated. I on the other hand went after my career with a passion. As doors opened for me I told my wife that she had to support me in my endeavors. Her turn would come. I acted selfishly with total disregard for my wife's aspirations. I needed to attend acting classes. I needed to audition. I needed resume shots. It was understood that all of my needs should be met first. I should not have been surprised when Pat slowly began to pull away. I actually felt that she was being selfish in her response. We argued often. We would not speak for long periods of time. Matters worsened when I revealed to her that I had had several affairs with some women in my acting classes. I thought God wanted me to come clean and move on. I actually felt slighted when she withdrew even further from me. I told you the truth. Get over it. I had no idea the pain and hurt I was inflicting upon my wife or what I might reap in the future as a result of my actions. My career progressed. Pat left the theater and took up a full time job. Two children were born to us. We became involved in a wonderful full gospel church and during this time God began to speak to me. He made it clear through the Holy Spirit that I must leave professional acting. A successful acting career could not guarantee my eternal soul. So without consulting anyone, including my wife, I decided to obey God. Needless to say, Pat was hurt that I had made this decision without consulting her. She informed me that there were some little matters like eating and paying the rent. But I knew God and His will and all would turn out alright. Several years later, God and His faithfulness moved me into the corporate world, blessed us financially and brought us back to Pittsburgh to family and friends. By this time, Pat had a successful career as a personal trainer. We had two beautiful kids, however we had grown further apart. Arguments turned bitter. The silences grew into weeks and months. I confess there was a serious emotional abuse on my part and at times my anger came close to physical abuse. Although I did not see it then, I realized our children were suffering as well. I continued to pursue my goals and thought Pat should be happy to be along for the ride. At the time, I thought this was as good as it gets. Strangely, as my wife and I grew further apart, I started to grow closer to the Lord. God was preparing me for the night when following another one of our long drawn out arguments, Pat revealed to me that she no longer loved me and wanted me out of her life. For those of you that have ever had these words spoken to you, you can appreciate the waves of nausea and panic that rolled over me at that moment. I was so blinded to me that I did not see it coming. Over time, I learned that Pat had fallen in love with someone else. She said this person loved her and treated her with respect. She was happy when with him. She informed me that she loved him and wanted a divorce so she could marry him. Over what seemed an eternity, I begged, pleaded, and cried for a second chance. It was too late. In my despair, I contemplated suicide. Only the counsel and love of three good Christian friends saved me. I had fallen into a black hole with no bottom in sight. In six months, I moved out. We separated and divorce proceedings began. Over the course of the next three years, my heart eventually turned into deeper anger and rage. Several times, we found ourselves at a table in the county courthouse, yelling at each other with our respective attorneys present. I pitted the children against Pat. This was her fault. We were no longer a family. She was not obeying God. I wanted the marriage to work. She was the problem, not me. I too met someone else and started a relationship. She would fix me and Pat would regret leaving me. I didn't need her. The only right thing I did during this period of time was to keep talking to God. It didn't make much sense, but I kept talking to God. He knew my pain. He understood that I wanted to make the marriage right. I didn't do anything to deserve this God. Pat would not give me the second chance to start again. I told God that even though I was not officially divorced, I would not wait to get involved with another woman. I hated Pat. Even though I had some responsibility for the breakup of our marriage, it was time to move on. There was no hope of reconciliation. Then God said to me one day, Are you through? And I said, Well, yes. Over the next several months, God showed me a picture of myself. It was not pretty. I was a selfish and self-centered man. I had failed as both a husband and a father. God had handed me a precious gift, and I had wasted it. I had never considered my wife's needs or her feelings. I had never loved Pat as Christ loves the Church. I saw the emotional and psychological pain I had inflicted on my family. I had wasted the love and devotion of my wife on my own lusts and pursuits. I was emptied of any sense of self-worth. I had hit the bottom of that black hole. I was ready to change. I want to change. Then the Lord said, Well, we can start again. I was ready to be changed, and I knew the Lord was a God of redemption. He is an expert at redeeming and reconciling lost causes. But surely my marriage was the exception. There was too much damage done. God instructed me to take one day at a time. I wanted to be clean, to experience innocence. Maybe my marriage was over, but I decided to obey God and do whatever He wanted for my life going forward. I started by ending the relationship with the other woman. Dramatically, God began to change my heart. I was experiencing sanctification. The old had passed away, and He had made me new. God instructed me to reconcile with Pat. Surel