Personal Portraits I, A Woman Of Worth

How many of you miss it when you don't worship? You go away and maybe you just miss it. I'll tell you, there's something important that we need to keep as an edge as we worship. I want you all to notice there's something happening outside. Glory to God, right? Well, I'll try to hurry. I know what you want to do. Last evening, I returned from a sweet and sobering experience. It was my 20th reunion of my graduating college class of Washington University. 20 years. It wasn't the many new buildings that had been built that most impacted me. It was not the greatly expanded faculty and administrative staff that they've added over the last 20 years that touched me. But what really got to me was the fact that after 190 years of all male tradition, there are now females on the Washington and Lee campus. 400 ladies. And that surely is a sign of the times, is it not? Women are on the move in places unheard of even in this country 20 years ago and certainly beyond what most of the world is experiencing. Did you know that 20 years ago, it was very difficult for women to get credit or take out a loan without a male cosigner? Just 20 years ago, it was smart for a woman to act dumb. How many women do you know that ran the lake and lifted weights 20 years ago? And we've seen a growing influence of women in every strata of our culture. Women are finding levels of professional service and government service that they've never known before. One-half of all the professionals in our country, lawyers, teachers, accountants and so on, are women. One-third of all the medical degrees given in 1985 were to women. Margaret Thatcher and Corazino Cano have proven that women can do everything a man can do when it comes to leadership, or so it might seem, as they lead entire nations. This has not come easily, and I might say particularly in the minds of men. As one 80-year-old gentleman said on my campus two days ago as he watched a woman walking down the colonnade, it just doesn't seem right. Men and women both are having to deal with their biases and their stereotypes as women's roles continue to change. Now this is no more evident than what we see being fed to us through the tube. Newsweek had just a few weeks ago a fascinating article on women and how they're changing things in network TV. And they make four general observations here, four things that women have come to on television that are setting a bit, if you will, of a standard in culture. Number one, women on TV teach us that it's okay to work. According to one recent study, 75% of TV's female characters worked outside the home. That's about 25% higher than what really is the case. TV women teach us that it's okay to live alone. A record proportion of TV's female population lives without a husband or children. Are they lonely and miserable? Not really. The contemporary TV woman is making it on her own. Number three, TV women teach us that it's okay to be messed up. You see, they can encounter failure, alcoholism, all these kinds of problems and still come back shining next week. TV women teach us that it's okay to mouth off. Do you eat with that mouth, inquires Murphy Brown's house painter. He's just trying to even the score. See, women have the ability on TV to say whatever they please and get away with it. I was fascinated by what happened this week on Evening Magazine as they did a history of TV moms. Who was your favorite TV mom when you were growing up? If you're not of this immediate generation, well, it was probably either June Cleaver or Margaret Anderson or maybe someone close to that. You see, those moms were the paragon of what it meant to be a mother. Committed to the home, sensitive, caring, there to meet the needs of the children and the husband. Do you know who today's paragon of TV moms is? Roseanne Barr. If you're not familiar, some of you are blanking out. It's okay. You see, Roseanne Barr works full time, keeps a sloppy house, is as big as a house, and routinely mouths off to her kids and to her husband. And she's the one that many people look to and say, that's what it must be like to be a good mom these days. Interestingly, Florence Anderson, who played the mom in Brady Bunch, says that she routinely gets letters from kids saying, will you adopt me? I'd like a mom like you. Now, it's fair to say that, considering all these images, that maybe women have progressed almost too far in some areas. And by their involvement in stuff of the world and by getting to where they can mouth off as they please and they can ignore sensitivities as they please and they can work all they want to, maybe they're just demonstrating that they're no different than men. And I think that's a shame. It should not be the goal of women to be like men. Now, I want to underscore one particular point when it comes to this matter of careers. You see, the 90s woman, as portrayed by society, must have a career. No matter what else you're doing, if you're really to be with it in the culture, it's important that you demonstrate your abilities on a multifaceted kind of a scale and prove that you can make it out there as well as in the home. Husbands and kids are important, sure, but what really matters, the society would tell us, is that you can do that and bring home the bacon and stir it up in the pan and those kinds of things. Kathy Lee on the morning program the other day received a letter from a mom who said, I have four, it was on a phone call, I have four kids at home. And Kathy Lee looks, oh, that's the toughest job in the world. And then she winked kind of condescendingly and said, someday I'll try it. You see, ladies, you are hearing and we are hearing as part of this culture that what really matters is that you prove your worth. The feminists and the politicians in our culture want us to think that in order to be really happy, you've got to do more than just raise a family. In fact, it's interesting, as I understand the feminist movement, it had two objectives. One was to help women to take roles and to fill positions that only men had had. And I think they've done a pretty decent job in opening things up. You know what the second stated objective of the feminist movement was? To elevate and give dignity to traditional female roles and particularly being a homemaker. Somehow that's gotten lost in the shuffle. What we need to see is if we're not careful, ladies, what can happen to us is we can get carried along to the point where we are all taking our cues from what society wants us to be. And the portrait that you begin to paint of your own life is painted with the oils of changing, ever-changing cultural values. And not that which was designed of God and will surely last. I want to share with you just a couple of the oils with which you should paint your life's portrait. And my own prayer is, ladies, that as we consider these things that God talks about, you begin to weigh those against the crushing weight. You know, what you hear out there is pretty powerful stuff, is it not? Number one, women should be confident in Christ. You see, any time a woman seeks to gain her identity from her role and her cultural description, one thing is to be certain. When you're trying to gain your security from the culture, here's what's going to happen. You're never going to find it. Because women will find the same thing that men find. Success in the culture is ever-shifting. It's a sad commentary, but it's true. James Dobson says that the number one problem in women today is lack of self-esteem. What wise wish their husbands knew about women. He quotes, he says, that's the number one cause of problem in women today. Why is this? Well, because women are so prone to seek their security and their approval from the ever-changing canvas of the culture that's around them. Women have historically looked to and been trained to gain their approvals from the men around them. Parents, unfortunately, begin to inculcate that at younger days. Their peers certainly feed it. The world exerts this strange sort of pressure that if men approve of you, then as a lady you have worth. We're taught, at least indirectly, to do what you have to do to be approved. And now women are seeking to gain that approval by competing with men in lots of different arenas. I have to say there are choking moments when males and men, you know what I'm talking about, find women do things better than you do. In the marketplace, sometimes even, I mean there's some sports I won't play because I know what will happen if I do. When I'm challenged by some of the gals. Women start competing with men, trying to demonstrate that they can do it. They're equal, as it were, in that sense. But women need to come to the place where they return to see that the bedrock of their self-esteem and all of their confidence and all of their worth is their identity in Christ Jesus. You see, that is the one thing that won't ever shift. That's the one thing that won't be here today and gone tomorrow. It's the one thing that will always, ladies, be the same. Let me quote for you what God said, first of all, about women. He said this, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him male and female. He created them. Number one, your security in who you are is rooted in the fact that you were created in the image of God. You're not a mistake. You're not a second thought in addition to the plan. You're part of his image. Dee Jepson served as a special assistant to the president and representative in the White House. She says this, I think it's important that women hear another voice because at times they are looking in the wrong place for identity. We have to find our identity and our value as a child of God. Then, because we've been made in his image, we can know we have intrinsic value even if we never did another thing. Ladies, do you believe that? If you never did another thing for God, you'd still have value to him. Above all, she says, women must know that they have a high calling in God. See, women need to see that God has spoken the word about your importance, your value, your worth, and you can't improve upon what God said. We sold a house that we lived in for four years to someone who took care of plants. He had an enormous collection of plants. He had them in every room of the house, every room. We went back to visit him maybe six or eight months after he purchased our home. He took us around and he began to show us the different plants. We were stopped in for a short visit, it ended up being about two hours. He described every plant to us and why every plant was significant to him. Every plant had a little something that to the untrained eye I never would have seen. But he loved all of his plants. He cared for everyone. He built an extra addition onto the deck to hang more plants. He took furniture out of rooms to get near the windows so he could put up more plants. Ladies, I want you to know God says that you matter a lot more than the plants and the birds and he knows everything about you. Do you really believe that God designed you to be just the way you are? Do you really believe he knew what your eyes would be like and your hair, the body that you'd have, the personality, the temperament, the skills and abilities and gifts? God didn't make any mistake when he made you. One of the things that I grieve over are the number of women who will not accept that and who try to find that value by going to someone else who says, I approve of you, whether it be a male or another female. Do you believe, ladies, that God knows what fits you best and that he's very pleased with his creation? Do you think God made you and said, you know, he's making this, oh, this one is good, this one is good, not this one, this one is not very good. What did God say when he finished his creation, when he finished making man? What did he say? It's very good. And ladies, I want you to just lift your arms to Abba Daddy and hear him say, I made you to be very good. And the God that made you and designed you knows what will fulfill you, ladies. He knows what role you've been fashioned to. And by the way, how many of you know that roles change in women's lives? More than ever. Do you know that 70 years ago, well, actually about 80 years ago, in the early 1900s, the average age, life expectancy of a woman is between 45 and 50 years? And now it's 80. And if you're raising children for even 30 years of your life, it still gives you another generally 30 years or more of productive living where your role has to change. God helped the ladies who send their kids out and then have nothing to do with their lives. And God can even take a woman in the midst of that transition and say, now what I've shaped you for is going to come out in a different way. You're going to discover things about yourself you didn't even know were there. But trust me, trust me, the Lord says. If you don't trust me, I can't do it. The first step then, be confident in Christ. Hear what God says to you. Hear that he says, I have redeemed you by name. Child, you are mine. Isaiah 43. Number two, ladies, let's learn to be a woman of worth by being committed to Christ. You see, once that security is laid down in your spirit and you're confident in that, you're free to trust, then you can paint your own portrait of commitment. Being committed to Christ versus being committed to the floating values of the world. Listen to what Romans 12.2 says. Listen. By the way, I want you to poke every man next to you right now who thinks this isn't for them. Go ahead, ladies. I'll give you permission. You know, if a lot of men knew what I was saying was true, they'd treat their wives a lot differently. And by the way, ladies, let me assure you, next week's message is for the men. You see, the Phillips translation of the Bible says in Romans 12.2, don't let the world, ladies, squeeze you into its mold, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. I see two molds out there. One is the mold that men put on women as expectation. The mold that holds them in a particular role under a particular definition of what they can do. The mold that expects them to act and respond in certain ways in certain situations. The mold that says, this is as far as you can go. But interestingly, another mold that's more and more observable these days is the mold that women put women in. There are loud voices out there, ladies, crying to you from other women's circles, telling you this is how you ought to be. There are other women out there who are saying, if you're not, you know, a full-time mother, then you're not really a mother. If you're not homeschooling, you're not really a good mother. If you're not working and being a mother, then you're not really a full woman. Fascinating things can begin to happen when you take your cues, even from other women. And I would want to ask you today, is it possible that you start listening to those things and whether you know it or not, you find yourself getting squeezed down into that mold and not really enjoying the role that you have? Do you ever read something longingly and say, well, gee, if I was just like that, maybe I'd be more fulfilled than I am now. Ladies, isn't it difficult to weed out those voices? But hear the Lord saying today, don't let the world squeeze you into its mold. Don't let it happen. You see, God knows what will fulfill you, and He knows that if you're committed to Him, whatever the cost, then you will know full commitment and you'll know full fulfillment. I guess the ultimate illustration of that to me is Esther. I remember the story of Esther. She was a beauty. What's described? When she was taken into the king, you know, he had women whenever he wanted, but he told Esther to come back. And he loved Esther so much and was so impressed with her that he bumped his wife off the throne and said, you come on in and be here. You be beside me. And Esther, in the book of Esther, you can read about it, comes to a crisis in her life where the mold would say, be quiet. You have a maid. You're right here beside the king. You have anything that you want. Just snap your fingers. And she found out that the king was going to do what? Well, he was going to receive this word from one of his crooked advisors that the Jews were causing all this trouble in the kingdom. And Mordecai tells Esther, you've got to go to the king. You've got to plead on our behalf. Now listen, the mold of the world would say, stay where you're... Number two, as a woman, guess what? If Esther spoke out of turn, she was liable to die. But Esther heard these words and instead of just shrinking back and saying, well, I guess that's not what I'm really supposed to do. Here's what she said. She tells her people to go and fast and seek God's face. And then she says this, and I will go see the king. And we have the quote, if I perish, then I perish. Women, do you know what it's like to be so committed to the purposes of God that even if you perish, it's okay because you've been pleasing God and obeying his word. We need more women today that will say, I'm committed to the purpose of God, but even to the point, if I perish, it's okay. Number three, women, if you're to be painted in a portrait that will last by God's hand, you need to be seeing that you are called to serve Christ, confident of who you are in him, committed to obey him, but called to serve him. You see, I have discovered this, that women have an incredible ability to work hard. Do you know that? Women have a way to get, they can press right on through things and get stuff done, and men just sit there in amazement. I'm serious about that. The founder of the Salvation Army, General Booth said, my best men are women because of their abilities to give of themselves and so on. But what we're discovering is that many women today get caught up in this battle for recognition and responsibility, and they're looking to their right and to their left to try to protect themselves and see that they get all of their rights, and the qualities of meekness and quietness and gentleness and a servant's heart that God's word says are to be characteristic of women are a fleeting quality in today's culture. And let me say, ladies, that when you are called to serve God, you don't do it seizing your rights. You don't do it defending your turf. You don't do it looking over your shoulder. There's an interesting quote. I'd like you to turn in your Bibles for a moment to Mark chapter 15. Look at Mark 15. We don't read a lot about this, so you can miss it easily. Verse 40, it says, Some women were watching him from a distance. Mark 15, 40. Watching from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger, and of Joseph and Siloam. In Galilee, these women had followed him and cared for his needs. And many other women who'd come up with him to Jerusalem were also there. Very significant scripture. The Bible says that women were caring for the needs, called to serve Christ. And they had come to his point of death to be there at his most difficult time. You see, ladies, some are called to serve Christ by teaching, like Priscilla. Some are called to serve Christ by organizing, like Lydia. Some are called to serve him by providing care. Some by singing. Some by leading, like Deborah of the Old Testament. Some by praying, like Anna the prophetess. And some by being a mother, like Mary. And God didn't make any mistake in how he shaped those women. He fashioned them to serve right where they were. God forbid, ladies, that one of two things would happen. Number one, that we would evaluate what God's called some other woman to do. And to put them in a lesser place, if they're not doing what we think. Or number two, that we should criticize others who are doing what they feel is their best in the calling that God's put on them. Ladies, be careful. Be careful how you look at other ladies and evaluate and judge and talk and criticize. For the older folks among us today, a woman by the name of Henrietta Mears should be a model that you would remember. Ladies, younger ladies, listen. Henrietta Mears lived at the peak of her life in the 30s, 40s, and 50s. She was the most powerful person spiritually that I've ever known, says Robert Munger, a man that taught me in seminary. She lived the life of the supernatural, but in a healthy, very human way. Listen to this. More than 300 graduates of her Sunday school college department went on to full-time Christian work. During a week at her Forest Home Conference grounds just before his famous 1949 Los Angeles crusade, Billy Graham resolved his personal doubts about the Bible and laid a foundation of faith that would transform his ministry. He later said Henrietta Mears had influenced him more than any woman other than his mother and his wife. She also founded what turned out to be Gospel Light Publishing. But let me tell you something. The women didn't like her because she was too bossy. You've got to see this picture. You can see it right in this picture. She's got this hat on and her jaw set. And she ruffled some feathers. But it was her call. She was called to serve and to do what God had put within her to do. And ladies, it is at that point that you will find... It's far better to be wronged by a sister in Christ and to bear the abuse than to openly talk about it. I guess Mary and Martha forever should have settled that for us. When I read the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10, how about you? I kind of feel like Martha's really got a case there. You know what I'm talking about? She's getting everything ready and Mary's out there just talking to Jesus. And I read that and I say, it sure doesn't seem fair to me. And yet, Jesus sees it differently. And He says to Martha, You're worried about many things. Mary has chosen the one thing that's most important and I won't take it from you. Ladies, could we take that as a message that says to us maybe God's perspective about our sister is a little different than ours. And He knows if they need to be corrected, He'll do it. And we needn't be the judge and the jury of what everyone else is doing around us. Likewise, let me say a word today to women who find themselves called to serve Christ by loving an ungodly man. You say, you don't know what a burden my life is because my husband could care less about God. And I want you to know that must be, I would sense that must be a very difficult thing. You say, well, I'm miserable. Let me just suggest two things for those of you in that situation. Number one, God is shaping in you something of such value, if you'll let Him, that at the end of it all, when you sit down and write the final chapter, you'll find that your character, the heart of God in you will be so big because ladies, Jesus said, if you serve even the least of these, you're serving me. And a secret to release in that is to see that when you serve that one that could care less, you're serving Christ. It will transform your ability to even live without affirmation and approval from your husband or the one that is so difficult. It should be no surprise to us, and I conclude with this, that the most admired woman in the world today is not Jane Polly or some TV personality. It's not some movie actress that is on the screen, Meryl Streep or someone like that. It's not some athletic phenom like Steffi Graf. Do you know who the most admired woman consistently in the world is? Mother Teresa. You see, long before the world discovered her and the media anointed her and appointed her to be a saint, she was walking the streets of Calcutta loving each individual diseased dying beggar, breaking the molds, confident in who she was in Christ, committed to obeying his voice, and called to serve him day by day by day. And it should stand as a great inspiration, ladies, that now all around the world she is held up as the paragon of what it means to be a woman. So I leave you with this question. Will you go on from this day and allow your personal portrait to be painted by worldly brushes on a canvas that's ever-changing of values and worth, or will you let the Lord Jesus pick up the pen of his word and the brush of his love and paint on the canvas of your heart that you're of incredible worth to him, that he loved you so much that he sent his only son to die for you, and that if you'll obey him and serve him, your life will be the most fulfilling and the most rewarding that you could ever know? I believe that's what you want, isn't it? Let's receive communion together this morning, ladies. And men, as we receive communion with the ladies today, could we also participate as those who would be committed to helping our women, whether we know them intimately or just casually, to helping them be all that God wants them to be? Let's stand for a moment, shall we, everyone? We'll have a word of prayer.