Myths That Make Us Miserable X, Truth About Right Judgments

If you don't have a Bible and don't feel guilty about it, just bring it next time and look on with a neighbor today. Very challenging passage. Let's look at it. Matthew 7, verse 1. Do not judge or you too will be judged, for in the same way you judge others, you will be judged. And with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there's a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Do not give the dogs what is sacred, do not throw your pearls to pigs, for if you do, they may trample them under their feet and then turn and tear you to pieces. Lord, before we enter into this passage, I pray for your Holy Spirit now to open my heart and mouth to speak and Lord, each person who's taken the time to be here today, open their ears to hear and speak to us now in Jesus' name. Well, if you were here last week, you know that I wasn't and it was because Carol and I were away for a little bit, taking some time as we try to once a year to be away together, just the two of us for some R&R. And as part of the facilities where we go to be away together, there's sort of a spa and club kind of thing where you can work out, which is important to me. And it's a permanent club for residents of that community and it's also a place where the hotel guests can go, that kind of deal. So there's a membership and then there's the guests that come in. Well, as I went to go to this facility, and there's a separate one for men and women, I went to the men's locker room area, you know, where everything is, and kind of to my surprise, there was this little, I mean, the door was locked and it was the middle of the afternoon and I knew it was open. And here, since I'd been there last year, they had installed this little electronic keypad deal with a series of numbers you had to punch and a code to get in. And I didn't know about it. I mean, I was there and kind of, well, I didn't know what to do and so I'm kind of fumbling around and trying to figure out what to do and a couple of guys came up and I sort of, you know, I saw them coming and so I stepped aside and let them punch a number and I just slid right on in with them, you know, looked like I knew what I was doing. And it was fine. And I went in and asked them, well, how do you get in? And they kind of looked at me and said, well, here's the number. Well, the next morning I'd get up to have some, get back into the, you know, get some coffee and get settled, get the day going and so on. And went down and I got the numbers jumbled, okay? So I'm punching this code and it's not working and the door's not opening and I'm getting a little frustrated and out of nowhere, about three men came up while I'm working on this thing and they're, you know, they're members of the club and they see me not knowing what I'm doing. And after a couple of very uncomfortable, awkward moments, they said, excuse me, buddy. They could have said loser or, you know, alien. And so they punched the numbers in and I went in again and I felt, just for, you know, maybe 15 or 20 seconds, I felt what it's like to be an outsider who doesn't know how to get inside. I mean, it's a lousy feeling. I felt excluded. I felt like I wasn't wanted and I didn't like the feeling. I didn't like what was going on inside of me. Now whether or not we want to admit it, many churches in America are just like that. There's a secret code that people have to find in order to get in and feel part of what's going on. It's possible. You might be in the second row from the back today visiting or maybe you've been here for a while and you're trying to figure out how do I really belong in this church? What's the code? I hope not. Maybe. Maybe you feel that way about the whole Christian life. I know there are people who've been trying to figure out how to become a Christian for years and they think that there's some code, there's some secret sort of formula they've got to find in order for God to accept them. And this is a serious issue. You know, there's really only one thing that closes off a church or a fellowship or a home group of people from experiencing all that God has for them. You want to know what that is? It's a spirit that Jesus talks about in this passage. It's a spirit of judgment. It's a spirit that says, I know the secret code of belonging here and I'm keeping it to myself and you don't have it. You know, we as people, we like to kind of separate ourselves according to certain categories. You know that? We feel good about that. And so we have reserved parking spaces, you know. And we have limited exclusive club memberships. And we have gated neighborhoods. And we have first class priority gold seating on the airlines. Of all these ways of sort of separating ourselves from the riffraff. Or at least in our minds, the ones who don't have the secret code to belong. But that spirit carries over into our churches and it separates people according to different barriers that Jesus never intended for us to experience. And so we have little codes like, does that person say the language that I think means that he or she is in? Language that maybe for you is real comfortable but for someone else they don't have. Are they saved? Is he my brother? Does he say baptized right? What kind of Bible do they carry? How big is it? All these little kind of messages start going, you know. Are they as expressive as I think they should be? Do they lift their hands? Do they sing out? Do they clap when it's supposed to clap? And all these kinds of different ways of discerning just how spiritual someone seems to be. And then in some cases it even gets down to being just downright sort of external. What kind of clothes do they have? What kind of jewelry are they wearing? What kind of card do they get out of? What's their complexion like? And all these sort of different things. And then maybe their actions. And how do they talk? And are they a little ragged? And all these sort of filters that we have. And folks, I know that you know what I'm talking about. And we engage someone and all of these things are happening and we are exercising to some degree or another a spirit of judgment. All of these things send a message very clearly either you belong here, look in your outline, or you don't. You belong here or you don't. There you go. You belong here, Debbie. Just keep working. You belong here or you don't. That's the message that we're sending. You're in or you're not. Now in this passage Jesus is pleading with us. Let me change it. Jesus is commanding us. Judge not. Look, that's not a real sort of gentle appeal. Judge not. He's saying don't come at each other with this spirit that separates. And as an aside, can I say that he's not saying don't use discernment. He's not saying don't distinguish between right and wrong. He's not saying throw out laws or ignore authority. He's not saying that. In fact, just a few chapters earlier, he says very clearly, hey, don't do what the Pharisees are doing. If your righteousness doesn't exceed theirs, you're not going to make it into the kingdom. So he's clearly not saying throw out the whole book, but what he is saying is stop evaluating and discriminating and judging others, censoriously finding fault and criticizing, basing acceptance on words or phrases or expressions, let alone clothes or cars or country clubs. Jesus is saying everyone is welcome in my kingdom and I'll be the judge as to who's going to get in and who's not. Not you. Your job is to receive them. My job is to determine if they're fit. And why doesn't God entrust judgment to you and me? You want to know why? Because our human judgment changes all the time. How many of you find yourself a whole lot more understanding and accepting of others when you're in a good mood? But when you're late for your appointment, how many of you are a whole lot more charitable in the line on the freeway when you're late for an appointment? No way you're getting in here, but you're right. And see, our judgment can change all the time just based on how we're doing. God's judgment never changes. It's always true, the Bible says. I had an experience when I was gone. I was returning this car that we were using and I had to fill it up with gas and I forgot that the tank was on the right, you know, so I pulled up on the wrong side of the gas pumps in this little stop and go, whatever, and there was a lot of cars and it was real hectic and so I'm trying to back around to get myself repositioned and it's a little awkward to describe, but, you know, it's all kind of happening fast and I'm catching a plane and all that kind of stuff. And out of the corner of my eye, this car comes just screaming right by me and I thought for sure I was going to back into it and I hit the brakes and jarred my neck back. And I mean, it was like a tense moment. I got in my car and I looked over and it was a little Volkswagen bug, an old bug. And this young guy got out that was, I mean, to say the least, he had this nine foot smirk on his face like, you know, get a license there, buddy, you know, I didn't know what I was doing and he kind of enjoyed the fact that he's throwing me into momentary panic. Well, I just began, I got to tell you, I just started to pass judgment on this guy. I mean, you know, I was looking at him and I was dealing with him in my heart and I was, I mean, thinking judgmental thoughts, you know, about his parenthood and his eternal destiny. And after a while, I mean, God was saying, wait a minute, you're judging this whole guy's whole life based on one act here. And I started thinking, yeah, you're right, Lord. I'm putting myself in the position of judge, jury and executioner of this guy. I got to tell you, though, when I looked down and this is the truth, on his bumper, he had a bumper sticker that said, I hate people. I said, see that, Lord? I was closer than you thought I was, wasn't I? Let God be the one who judges. He doesn't make mistakes. And let me talk a little bit, too, about what I think is something we're prone to do. I want to call it passive judgment. Passive judgment is when we exclude others by neglect rather than by an active step. I won't broaden my circle to include others. I won't choose to talk to a person who's standing alone. I won't call a person that I met at the game or at school or whatever and invite them to come with me. I mean, I'm comfortable in my little territory. I'm not going to extend myself any further. I'm happy. I don't want to get involved in another person's life. And dear ones, that's judgment. That's not obedience. That's judgment by neglect. That's passive judgment. I can't tell you how much I've had to thought lately about God's gift through us to the people around us. The truth that God has given us about his love, his grace in Christ. It's the only message out there that causes the broken parts of life to make sense. You know that? The message we have, the gospel of Jesus, I mean it to me, it's the most phenomenal thing in all the world. Do you know that the word for salvation, soteria, means wholeness? To be saved literally means to be made whole again. Or it means healing, James 5.15. The same Greek word for healing is the word for salvation. What we are called to do is go to a broken world and help them become whole again. That's our message. But what we tend to do is see a broken world and we see someone who's standing there with a broken part of their personality. Or a broken part of a relationship. Or a broken part of an attitude. And we judge them according to that and never offer them salvation. I have a deep conviction this morning that many people desire wholeness but don't know how to find it. And they fear that if they came to you or to a church like North Way that somehow they wouldn't be welcome. Because they're not holy enough. And that's why Jesus is so strongly saying here, don't judge, don't exclude or ignore or overlook or cut off based on your judgments of one part of their life. You're simply contributing to their brokenness, not to their wholeness. Now there may come a time when God will use you to help restore a broken part. Help you to address a need in someone. But he uses language here that's very interesting. He says to them, they have specks in their eyes. In other words, they have little problems that maybe you could correct. But you've got a beam, a log in your eye. Now imagine for me, what would it look like to have a telephone pole in your eye? How many of you think this is possibly one of the humorous statements of Jesus? The word there in the Greek means literally a big beam. He's saying, don't try to take the specks, the attitude, the habit, the doctrinal problem that a person has, don't try to take that little speck out of their eye when you've got this telephone pole in your eye. In other words, your attitude of judgment is far worse than their little doctrinal hang-up. You see that? Your judgment of them is far worse than the habit you see that they have. Jesus is warning, if you judge them that way, that's the way you're going to be judged. And it's very strong language, and it's very clear. He's saying, rather be embracing and accepting first, and examine your own life, and then you'll be able to help them overcome obstacles in their life. I want to ask you, as I kind of bring this message to a conclusion today, to help walk with me into this new year by making a very clear statement to one another and every person that God sends through these doors in the next 12 months. I'm going to use a strong word. I'm going to ask you to make with me a guarantee, a three-part guarantee for 1995. Something we'll agree to and covenant to, beginning today, for one entire year, something I believe if you'll say yes, as many people in the first service did, we will be a different church one year from now. There'll be a different climate for growth. You will be a deeper Christian, or you will be closer to God than you've ever been before, if you'll enter into this agreement with me for one year. Based on this passage, are you ready? A three-fold guarantee. Number one, that we will extend love, unconditional love, to one another for the next 12 months. That what we want to say to one another and to everyone who comes is that we're going to love you here no matter what, proactively, sensitively, but we are going to reach out to you and we're going to talk to you. We're going to ask you to be involved. We're going to include you in our little groups. We're going to serve you where we can. We're even going to pray for you where you will let us. And if you will open to us, we'll become your friend. In the world, it's friendship first and then love. In the kingdom of God, it's love first and then friendship. Did you get that? We love first and then we say, if you'll let us, we'll be your friend. Our love is unconditional. It is not based on another person's response. Businessman here in the community, very successful in his field, some months ago when the building was just getting completed, he said, I'd like to come see that building of yours. I said, great, I'd love to have you come over. He met me here. We walked through together. And afterwards, he said, well, what do you want from me? And I said, you know, I don't really want anything. I just want to be your friend and I want you to know that what we offer here at North Way is for you if you want to come back. And whether or not you ever do anything for us, it doesn't matter. What matters to me is that you know that I care about you. And it was a moment and he said, well, and he didn't have a response. He didn't know what to do. He said, well, we'll see. We'll see. Folks, do you know there are even here in this service today, pastors speckled around this room. There are more in the first service that I recognize. Pastors who are part of what I call here at North Way the 4-H club. Pastors who have been hurt and are kind of hiding. They can come to North Way and just sort of be part of the crowd so that they can heal and that just possibly after some months and sometimes in some cases years, hope would be restored and they'd get back into ministry. We've had it happen many times. There's some warriors from other churches who've been trying to stand for the Lord and you're here part of the 4-H club. Your church basically said, get out. And you're hurt and you need healed. So you're just kind of hiding for a while until hope comes back. And we want to say we love you and we're glad you're here. We'll meet you where you are. Can we say that to each other? Can we say that to the person a couple of seats down? Can we say that to everyone that comes through the doors today? You know, many people here are honestly in a search mode, kind of trying to discover what they believe about God. And you'd be very surprised how many people come to North Way who really are not convinced, but say, well, you know, something must be out there that I haven't discovered yet. I want you to know we love you where you are. Take your time and ask your questions and grow with us. You know, and love means that we're going to be there for one another, regardless of our feelings at the time, regardless of the response. You know, that's agape, isn't it? That's the Greek word for love. That's God love. I mean, that doesn't mean I'll necessarily be to every meeting. It does say this, my love for you will not be conditioned on how you respond to me. My love for you will be steady. Consistent, no matter how you respond. And what greater witness do we have, then, than our love for each other? How many of you think if we could see a bunch of miracles here, you know, if we could see people come out of wheelchairs, that this whole place would suddenly be filled with people from all over Pittsburgh, and they'd all come to Christ? Do you want to know something? The Bible doesn't say that that's how the world is going to know. How's the world going to know who Christ is by our... I don't know if you get it yet. Look at your outline. John 13, 35. By this will all men know that you're my disciples. By your love for one another. Can we offer that kind of love to each other? The second thing is, can we offer acceptance to each other here without reservation? Can we guarantee that we'll be open to one another? That there won't be a secret code of acceptance at North Way. You know, regardless of what our theology might be, or our religious background, or our external differences, one of the things that most everyone comments to me about at North Way is just how diverse we are here. How different a group of people this is. And I don't mean just externally. I mean, that's pretty apparent. But our spiritual heritage. Now, I try to put this on a little continuum. And Debbie, I don't know if you can put this up. On the one extreme, how many of you identify more on the left-hand side, if you can just... You're the traditional liturgical types. You've come from Catholic, Episcopalian, all those kind of backgrounds. Another category you could call it. These are the stuffy, uptight ones here. How many stuffy, uptight ones do we have? Well, you're getting freed up. If you put your hand up, you're at least on the right road. We also have, on the other side of the continuum, lots of people from very contemporary, spontaneous kinds of things. I call them the sort of... Go ahead. Pull it down. That's all right. Pull it down. Crazy, loose, canon types. Now, you already have your hand up. I didn't have to say so. You're like... And what goes on at North Way in any given week... I mean, these two groups of people, you're always kind of in tension with each other. And both of you like to beat me up. If the service goes an hour, over an hour, the loose... The traditional... The church doesn't say, hey, it's been 60 minutes, time to go. The contemporary, spontaneous people, they don't even get cranked until it's been two hours. If you're part of the left-hand side here, and we do a couple extra praise songs and clap, you're like, ooh, this is really... We're saying, come on, get it going. Every week, it's sort of this battleground, back and forth. And there's this tension that we live in with each other here. Because we are melted together by the Spirit of God. And we just have to learn to accept each other. So I want you to turn to someone right now and say, I accept you, wherever you are, even though I'm right. Tell someone that. I accept you, wherever you are, even though I'm right. Loose cannons, stuffed shirts, go ahead. And if you want to know the truth, church, acceptance at North Way isn't really... It isn't really, will we accept the drug addict or the prostitute? The image we have is sort of a down and outer, even though both of those kinds of backgrounds are existing in our congregation. Do you want to know, it's not really so much even denominations. We accept Catholics, former Catholics, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, non-church people, Baptists, everything. But it's really more about, will the quiet people accept the expressive ones? Will the outgoing people accept the timid ones? Will the confident Christians accept the seekers? Will the well-taught accept the novices to the faith? Will the CEOs accept the unemployed? Will the mature embrace the new? And will the old reach out to the young? Will we all find that in God and his son Jesus, we can be one as Galatians 3, 28, very clearly says that in Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, but we're all one in Christ Jesus. That's the guarantee that we want to make to one another. There's one question, I pray we never have to ask at North Way, listen to it. Write it down. The question I hope you never have to ask here is, I wonder what they'll think. I wonder what they'll think. I wonder what they'll think if I bring my boyfriend who's not a Christian, but he's been living with me. I wonder what they'll think if I lift my hands. I wonder what they'll think if I don't. I wonder what they'll think if I wear my Armani suit. I wonder what they think if I wear my sweatsuit. I wonder what they'll think if I don't know where Philippians is. I wonder what they'll think if I've memorized Habakkuk. You know what they're going to think? They're going to think, I pray, hey, I'm glad you're here just as you are. You're welcome here. And you enrich me by your presence here. You're welcome. Yeah, but you know, doesn't that kind of dilute our sort of overall spirituality? Someone's thinking, I mean, doesn't that lower our standards and kind of give license for people to go on sinning? I don't think so. You know, in the 14 years that we've been as a congregation, I'm just thinking about that. I said 13 in the first. It's actually now 14 years that we've been here. I don't remember anybody leaving North Way because we were too loose in our expectations as a church. I don't remember anyone saying, well, you know, you people are just allowing too much to go on there. I don't think that's going to happen because people see our lives and they hear our teaching and they know by being around us what we believe and how we cling to the word of God and how God's word is our standard. Chuck Smith, in a wonderful little book that he wrote, I said this as an illustration. A person called him from his church and said, my husband just left me to move in with another woman. Would you go visit him and talk to him? And so let me just read it, may I? He said, I agreed to go and found my friend living in a shabby garage apartment on the bad side of town. When I saw his filthy little home, I was struck by how much he'd lost. His wife and daughters were beautiful people. His home was in a wonderful area. This man had sold his soul for a crust of bread. And as he came to the door, a look of shame covered his face. He was very polite and invited me to come in and sit down. And as I looked around at my friend's new life, I thought, oh God, how could he give up so much? My heart was breaking because I loved this man. And the sight of what he'd fallen into tore me apart. And I found myself unable to conceal my feelings and much to my embarrassment, I began to weep. I was overcome with grief. And when his lover emerged from the kitchen, all I could do was sob. I finally got so embarrassed. You know, I'm very sorry. I know I came over to see you, but I just can't talk right now. I got up and left and went home feeling like a fool. Here my good friend's wife wanted me to visit him and make an appeal for reconciliation. And all I could do was sit there and cry. And the next morning, I received a phone call with news that left me in shock. The next morning, my friend had returned to his wife and family just hours after my visit. What did God use to achieve this miraculous healing of a fractured relationship? Not a holier-than-thou attitude, but rather his spirit had created in me a spirit of meekness and brokenness that led to a joyful reconciliation. Dear ones, many more people will be won by your accepting of them, your acceptance of them, and by your judging them. The third thing we need to give to one another in 1995 is forgiveness. For those inevitable times when we mess up, when we just fail one another, when we say the wrong thing or lose our cool or don't show up on time or don't give the support expected, whatever it is, we need to know that forgiveness will be waiting at the other end of the line. You know, in a ministry like this, where volunteers do an awful lot of the work, people fail. I mean, it's just going to happen. And it's wonderful to know that when it happens, someone's going to be there to say, it's okay, I love you anyhow, I forgive you. I make mistakes all the time, others are going to, it's going to happen. And I just pray that when it happens, you don't just fold up your bag and leave and say, well, you know, I'm going to go someplace else because you failed me. It's just flat immature. You know, I always tell people, if you find the perfect church, don't join it because you're going to mess it up. We're going to fail. We need to offer forgiveness. And when you're hurt or overlooked or unappreciated, you know, be courageous enough to go to the person and share, share your hurt and then give them forgiveness. Otherwise, you'll find yourself judging them and playing God in their life. And dear one, I don't want to be playing God in your life. How many believe God is quite able to decide when someone else needs to be judged? Romans 12 says very clearly in verse 19 that God will be our avenger. He can take care of it. Remember, there's only one judge of the world and he's our savior. Let him be the one that decides. Well, that's it. It's very simple. Love, acceptance and forgiveness. Now, forgive me for this because it's so simple and you may not even think it's cute. I think it'll just be a way to help us to remember that this is what we're going to do this year. Love, acceptance and forgiveness. We're just going to laugh our way through 1995. Love, accept and forgive one another. And I just believe that if we'll make this a priority of our minds and hearts, it will change how we deal with each other in our church and it will melt away some of the divisions and it'll enable us to grow in grace together according to the way that God has prompted us. And you know, I don't know. 1995 for me isn't all about big goals necessarily or about achievements. It's much more about enjoying the grace of God that's active here among us. It's much more about learning to love you authentically and you one another. Because I believe that's what the world really doesn't see very much of. You know, the irony of this football thing today is that two weeks and a day from now, it's all gone. And the tailgaters won't be able to party. And all of the bonding that's happening will disappear. And it's fine for a while. But we have been given an eternal bond, an eternal reason to celebrate, an ongoing reason to share. Because we have been loved, accepted and forgiven. I'm going to ask you very candidly, are you willing to make that guarantee? Are you willing to extend yourself to the people around you and everyone that comes through the doors? That you're going to give love, acceptance and forgiveness? Would you bow and pray with me right now, please? If you're willing to be willing today, if you're willing to say, God, yes, I want to be that kind of instrument of love, acceptance and forgiveness. Would you tell him right now, say, Lord, I'm open. I want to be used in that way. I'm going to ask you right now if that's the desire of your heart for this new year. Would you take a step of faith and would you stand and say, God, I want to be a person who extends that love, acceptance and forgiveness to every person in this church and everyone that you bring in as you flow it through me. Stand to your feet if that's your desire today. Say, Lord, that's who I want to be by your spirit at work in me. Lord, I give you praise. I believe you, Father. It's an awesome thing, church, the power of God when we agree together. Let's just declare that in that little song that we learned. We stand in grace. Declare it with me and believe God to work in us now by his spirit. Let's stand as we sing it together.