Mother's Day Message

So appreciate that that childhood love and innocence and acceptance and But I have to say to you today, I have a sort of a different thing in my heart That I want to weave some of what we saw there into But it's really a little heavier Kind of burden that I carry today. I don't know if you listened at all as I did to our radio program Let's talk with Stacey and Hutch. I listened Today for at least an hour or so of it You know is If you haven't checked it out yet, it's on every Saturday morning from 9 to 12 Mark Hutchison and Stacey Gallagher are both Here in our Counseling Center right here at North Way and they do an excellent job and what struck me today in the program Was how many people called in? That were burdened by this Mother's Day weekend That that what they had issues with their moms that they hadn't resolved they had Lost a mom in recent Months so that this was the first Mother's Day without their mom and how hard that was but there was a number of callers that called in just to say how Distant they felt about their mom and how they hadn't been able to make a relationship there And it it caused me to think two things. First of all, I want to be sensitive Today to the reality that for some of you. This is not the greatest day That would include those of you who want to be moms, but for whatever biological reason God's not allowed that and so we want to be sensitive to you and recognize that that It's a hard day. In fact, I know I Could name names of women that won't come to church this weekend because they just don't want to have to deal with that emotion I'm also sensitive to those of you particularly who maybe are having issues with your kids and you don't expect to hear from your kids this weekend and how painful that'll be for you and We have something very special for you at the end of this message that I pray will lift your heart But I also want to just sort of share a second thing with you when I listen to that program It was on for three hours. And by the way, Frank Meadows, who? is one of the national experts in the theophastic prayer healing ministry that we have here at North Way was on air and he did an outstanding job and just handling callers was very difficult over the phone and It just made me want to say this to some of you. I don't know who it's gonna hear this But we we really need some of you who own businesses or have resources who want to see a ministry That's going out Unconditionally To a 70 mile radius of Pittsburgh think of the thousands of people that that tune into that program We would love to talk to you about being a sponsor of that show Because it's reaching people at a level You know every other program I listen to in a setting where he has to do with, you know managing your finances or You know taking the right vitamins or doing something else with your body or whatever This is the only program that I know of its type that really addresses issues like that so if you have Access to resources and you want to be part of helping to keep this program Functional and reaching people I just wanted to nudge you in that way because it was a Mark and Stacy do agree I don't I could not do what they do They take calls from people who are in the sorry estate and you can hear just the Holy Spirit through them Giving him not just comfort but expectation to reach out and find help So with that being said I want to speak to us today as a church about some things as Well that every mom wants to know and and Here's the the struggle that I face As hard as I've tried I can't be a good mom Because I'm not it just I'm not it's not I'm wired I on Father's Day check me out. I might have a I might have a better handle on that one But I've talked to my wife on numerous occasions about sharing the platform with me on a Mother's Day because it would be great for you to hear some of the things that God's taught her and Through her perspective and my wife's just not wired that way she She's a behind-the-scenes person. She's a servant at heart Those of you in Beth more know she's given her her best energies to creating an environment for you to learn the word But but she does so she doesn't know this after tonight. I have a very sinking feeling. I may not be here tomorrow But I want to do something I want to go out and she doesn't know I'm gonna do this I want to share with you several things That I've learned by watching my wife Be a really good mom Now into a second generation I Watched her be a mom to three kids that have grown up to love the Lord and they're not perfect kids but they're really good kids and now I'm watching her with two grandsons and another one on the way and realizing that she's It's just something God's gift. Yeah. Yeah, we have a picture of you don't know my grandsons and here's the here they are that's Luke on the left and Jack in the right and They're good most of the time But you can see there's a little twinkle in both their eyes, which means at times They're not always perfect But I want to talk to you about five things and so take out your outline and these are biblical things and I want to close with a very significant Truth that the Lord showed me as I was preparing this Now you all can help me out a whole lot if you don't run home and call Carol and say do you know Jay talked? About you because we have this sort of understanding that I won't talk about her unless she knows it But this there I promise you there's not a single derogatory comment in this message I Hope that I get that right. So and therefore I'll be back One of the Reasons, I know I'm not that good at the mom thing is It's been several months now, but I remember when when Amy and Carol planned to go To some kind of a thing that was for for ladies only and it was my day off and they said would could you watch The boys for the afternoon a couple of hours. I said, well sure, you know, no problem and So I mean arrived over at our house with the boys and and Carol had already gone to the event. So she was there waiting for Amy and the boys came in I said hey guys, and they said hey Jay Paul. They come in Jay Paul and and then they said Where's Mimi I Saw Mimi's not here. They said wait, where's where's Mimi? And and to them it was like a whore that it was gonna be two hours of just Jay Paul. I know Mimi I mean They'd never done that where's Mimi, you know, like the world was about to end first Mimi I mean, I know where the ice cream is all that stuff, but where's Mimi? So I realize I know what it's like for some of you to feel like maybe you're not You don't have the mother thing all the way down but here here's the things I want to highlight and and I share these and with a little bit of trepidation not so you think my Wife because the last thing she would want you to think is that she's got this nailed down But I have watched her do this and here's what I would share with you number one on that list Being good enough is good enough Now The only people that really understand why that's an amazing thing for me to say is someone who works with me or knows me really well That's not how I'm wired Being good enough is never good enough for me Because I've been wired right or wrong by God firstborn You know, there's 38 light bulbs in this auditorium that should be on if one's out I'll find that one There'll be 37 on you'll say well, I saw 37 of those Why did I just wired that way but I by watching Carol I've realized that that kind of perfectionism If left unattended can really crush the spirit It can cause a child to think I'm never gonna live up to it. I can't I'm you know, I'm not good enough I'm not gonna make it and in fact if a dad pushes that too far or a mom for that matter it can lead to a sense of unworthiness and even depression in a child and even I've seen to Go to the point where a child says I don't want anything to do with it and it slips into rebellion and the kid just checks out Because they feel like they're never gonna match up any else. So why not just get out and they rebel and leave um, I'm grateful that Carol's brought balance into our home and and with our kids by letting them have That flexibility of sometimes not being perfect she has a very unique ability to provide a sort of unconditional love to the kids and to let them know that you know, sometimes You don't get it just right and that's okay By the way parents if you have a firstborn child understanding one thing about them That firstborn child is innately designed like our little Luke when he doesn't get it Alright, I mean, I don't need to tell him man. You missed one. He's bummed. I mean, it's really hard whereas Jaxa says So what you know? Maybe I'll get it next time. It doesn't bother So be very sensitive that that birth order thing that dr. Kevin Lehman talks about is real and It's not every time if you're an only child, by the way, that's like being firstborn on steroids Okay You just everything is just you know, your underwear it's just right and You know, you you know how many peas are on your plate and the whole thing It's just but don't let that consume you the scriptures say fathers And it could say mothers don't exasperate your children Instead bring them up in the training and instruction or how would you exasperate them by expecting them to be perfect? It doesn't work. It doesn't Create a healthy environment Very important It's funny to watch even Luke. I see him right now. I asked him the other day. Well, what time do you go to? Do you catch the bus to go to school? He said 817? What time do you leave the house 811 and I promised that the kid will grow up with a digital watch How many of you have digital watch on right now? How many of you have with the digital watch or firstborn It's like 90% of you. Yeah, it's like you can't help yourself. Yeah, but it's okay. I mean You're the person I want to do the surgery, you know, or control the anesthesia if I'm going under okay I need serious, but anyhow, that's another thing second thing. I've learned by watching Carol's this She enjoys the moment Not just the outcome. It's somewhat related to the first point, but it's it's sort of a different thing Take on it. I'm with Carol Relationships are always more important than rules and I've watched her really parlay that into some very Just funny just laid-back great moments. I want to quote Kevin Lehman here my buddy that I did Some television with a long time ago and who will be here at North Way again in the fall If you've not read some of his books just some of the best parenting books out there he says this he said kids of all ages even the hormone group of 11 to 15 want to belong and Even though they may say please don't embarrass me Please don't get too close to me when my kids and my friends are around me They still really want to know that you care that you will accept them unconditionally I see Carol doing this in all kinds of ways You know if if We're at a restaurant together and the foods delayed coming out. I get all like okay. Where's the manager? You know I I get all this isn't right Carol creates this she makes this sort of game out of it. She says okay Let's see how many people we can see you know that have blue and green shirts on before our food gets here And it takes the kids minds off the fact that they're hungry, and they could get into this game or You know if we're going somewhere in the in the minivan and and Amy's minivan I mean, I'll fight for like shotgun right I mean I want to see it up in the front, and I look where's Carol. She's in the backseat between the two boys While they're watching a little video, and she's and she's just like loving on She's just got that way of enjoying the moment and not having to make the outcome what it's all about Now that sounds simple let me tell you for some of us. That's a real lesson, and it's Really freed me up in some ways to not be so uptight and and maybe Some parents just might be a little encouragement to you as well third Learn to engage or celebrate the teachable moments that you'll see your kids in All throughout their lives hey one thing about kids once they're born you young parents here There's a little news flash you got them now. They're gonna be with you all the time I mean even when you'd like to like put them You know off for a while. They're you know they don't turn off until sometimes in the middle of the night, maybe After a while and it's an important thing to learn those teachable moments you know far from just Letting the kids do their own thing. I watched Carol help the kids Discover God's ways by pausing things in the middle of an occasion and teaching them along the way This was an interesting thing we discovered maybe I don't know a year and a half or so ago But little Jack has this propensity to be a helper and We learned it because in the kitchen every time we do something in the kitchen he would say he said Mimi What can I do to help I can do that and and I remember one time. I was cutting the turkey For Thanksgiving dinner and Jack who was four at the time came over. I'm headed. I get this big honking knife He said Jay Paul. I can do that And he goes and gets this and I forgot to bring it, but he has a he has a little three Three foot stepladder, you know, so he can get up on right to the level of the of the of the Countertop and he says give me the knife Jay Paul. I can do that. And I said no, I think Jack probably this knife in your hand would be a bad thing. However Throughout the balance of that eating anything we needed him to do You know Jack you can take this over and put in the trash Jack. You can get this out of the refrigerator He just was into it and we've discovered now over a year and a half time that he's just wired to to be this helper and I mean just give him some specific project to do that's helping out and He loves to do it. It's kind of funny. It's almost You know what? He wanted for Christmas he wanted a Lego blocks trash truck set No, I don't know some of there's very little appeal that to me but for him we pulled that baby out You know with a real trash hauler, man Because for him, you know picking up trash is a big thing when we were vacationing down in Florida with Carol's sister we ride around in the golf cart and he had one of those little things you and We'd stop the golf cart and he'd ride and pick up trash and and collect it and then when we got to the trash can he put it that I mean he's he's just You know, I maybe that's his calling. It could be he could run waste management by the time. He's 16. I don't know Luke on the other hand Carol's picked up on the fact that his whole things about order Because it's the first point thing So when what do you think Luke does see Jack's in there helping put things together and clean things up? What do you think Luke's doing? He's setting the table He's making sure every fork and spoon and knife and glass and everything in the right see parents Find out how your child is wired and then lean into it and then when the moment comes to speak to it Step into that don't go against that flow but go with it. And I've seen Carol do that beautifully and I've learned a lot watching her just bring that out of the kids and helping them just to feel like they're really important and little things like that remember Relationships are more important than rules number four And Carol just sort of does this naturally the love of Jesus is the most important thing in life Look at the scripture I put on your outline Paul speaking to Timothy I've been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and I'm persuaded now Timothy lives in you also see the kids the boys know That Jesus is first and Mimi's life and Let me just tell you I'll back up one other step raising three kids in a pastor's home is a challenge Pray for your pastors and their kids It's you know, it's not a big secret a lot of pastors kids don't want anything to do with the church because they feel like the church get got between their parents and them and one of the main reasons why my kids all love the Lord and walk with him is because I think in those times when I Wasn't at home when I had evening meetings when I had I couldn't be at certain places Carol never put the church and in the middle of us and said well your dad's over that stinking church again What she probably could have said but rather she Built a sense of appreciation and a sense of love for what was happening here in our kids lives. And now I'm seeing it In the grandkids, it's funny when we have them over for a meal Saying grace is quite an experience. How many of your kids say grace in your home? Let me see your hands Parents if you're a parent you should you should let your kids say grace when Luke says grace I mean Just get ready Dear Jesus, I thank you for mom dad Mimi J. Paw Jack and Then there's a look there's a name Sinyad or something like that and that's I want I said Amy who is Sinyad and he said that's their compassion international kid that they support He goes on down the list names the neighbors and then then we get into the animal kingdom He prays for the dogs the the the two cats which they say Luke. They don't need prayer, but go on, you know Four or five minutes later, you know something microwave at the dinner again, but grace is grace is good I mean we've covered most of the planet but Luke does that just out of a heart that has watched mom and dad and Mimi Put Jesus first It's really a blessing I have to say they're all so big into outreach both Luke and Jack are car cruisers, I've They both sport there I I love the car cruise t-shirts Much of the consternation of a few of the staff members, but I still think it's a great model Grandparents that we have an opportunity to help those young ones know of Jesus and his Importance in our lives and help the parents at times when they get a little just a bit overwhelmed and finally this last thing is And it's sort of related that Carol's very quick to affirm the parents authority in their lives You know, there's a sort of standing joke out there, isn't it? That hey, we take the kids over to the grandparents and they spoil them and then send them back home And that's sort of the same thing, you know They they get away with things a grandma and grandpa's house that they don't get away with at home whether it's watching TV or eating too much sugar or whatever it is and One of the things I've watched Carol do she's very careful to just reassert what mom and dad said the boundaries are If some programs are off limits at home, they're off limits at our house if the computer times limited at home. It's limited at our house If it's only so many cookies there and and and what that does you see it helps the kids to know that they that we Value and respect and lift up the parents and therefore they should to this sort of indirect, but it's a very powerful message I Know a lot of parents That gets stuck in this thing where the grandparents Let the boundaries go and that creates some frustration because the kids didn't throw it back at them. Don't let that happen. So No, you're just five simple things. Maybe none are all that profound. But if one of them matters to you Parents moms dads just take one of those And say Lord Help me to enjoy the moment and not be about outcomes Lord Help me to transmit that Jesus is the most important Person in my world, whatever it is, and maybe that'll just make a difference now one last point I want to make before I close here and it's this as I was preparing and actually this was gonna be my whole sermon Because it really overwhelmed me with its power. But here's what I came across I Was thinking about Mother's Day in terms of what is the one thing that every mom really wants more than anything else? And I suppose this would be true of Believing moms in other words Christian moms may not be true of moms who don't care about what God's will is but every mom That's a believer would want to be able to say my child Fulfilled the destiny that God had planned for them in their life moms. Am I right on that? I mean, is that your heart? I mean more than you Thinking your kid turned out to be a pretty nice kid or had a great family You want to know that your child Fulfilled the purpose that God put them on the earth for I know the plans I have for you Jeremiah says Plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a future and hope and every mom I know once their child their their kids to discover that plan But here's the part that I wasn't very clear on until I did this study Do you know what a lot of moms have to do to get their kids to get to that place moms? They have to let that child go And I can take you back and it's noted there I won't dig into the scripture because of time but you can go and do a study you can go look at a woman Her name's not right on the surface, but you can come to it in Scripture Moses mom. Had to let him go and Put him in a little basket Imagine what was going on in her heart when she realized he's either going to die at the hands of the Egyptians who are under strict orders to kill every Hebrew boy or Put him in a little basket that was covered with pitch and throw him into the Nile River and You got to read Exodus 2 and read that story if you haven't because the coolest part of the story is the baby floats along the Nile River for a while and gets plucked out by one of the servants of Pharaoh and Takes the baby to Pharaoh's daughter and Pharaoh's daughter says, oh look at the beautiful little Hebrew, baby well, you need to go find someone to wean the baby and So guess who they go find? You don't know the story Moses mom It's a great Metaphor of really all of life what you give away to God he gives back to you in ways You can't imagine and so Moses mom got to wean him and raise him up and then to release him onto his destiny the one that really moved me was Hannah and On your outline I mentioned it and in fact if you have it We're gonna put up if you would please the two verses from 1st Samuel chapter 1 Hannah and this is what struck me and I I don't know how to say this in a way that Doesn't sound like yeah, you know, I'm pushing it too hard but here in Samuel 1 If you know the story Samuel and In this season, and I'm not sure why God allowed this at the time, but Hannah her womb was closed. The Bible says she could not have kids and and so it was a difficult time for her and She didn't know why God allowed that to happen. I want you to see this important verse here in 1st Samuel 1 In bitterness of soul chapter 10 Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord and she made a vow saying O Lord Almighty if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me and not forget your servant But give her a son then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life And no razor will ever be used and he said in other words that that signature of being No razor was the fact that he was totally dedicated to the Lord if the verses that we have Let's put those up at the end of that chapter or this. So God blessed Hannah with a child. He opened her womb and then Eli the priest is amazed when sometime later. She shows up at his door and here's what she says She says as surely as you live my lord I'm the woman who stood here beside you praying to the Lord Because see the funny part of the story was she was so earnest about her prayer to the Eli thought she was nuts Her mouth was moving and making strange sounds. She was speaking in an unknown tongue perhaps That's how passionate her prayers were and then she said this verse 27 I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked for Asked of him and so now I give him to the Lord for his whole life. He'll be given over to the Lord and he worshiped the Lord there. That's Eli the priest And then I could also point to Mary the mother of Jesus Mary knew because the angel said you're going to give birth to the Messiah and one day You will weep When you see what he has to go through to redeem his people Moms I just want to say to you I don't know what it might be of you and dads you might tune in on this because it's true of you as well. To truly allow our children to be fully gods We have to come face to face with the fact that God may just want them to do Something or to be somewhere that just doesn't fit your plans. What is the exact plan of God and the only word I can think of that appropriately covers that is the word surrender You've got to come to the place where you're willing to surrender and say Lord this child watch this child is on loan from heaven I Give him I give her back to you Thank you for letting me have the joy of raising them But I give them back to you for your purposes and your plans friends that kind of prayer that kind of surrender Allows God then to move and all of his power and might and to bless you Beyond words With what your son or daughter can do, you know I'm looking around the room and I'm seeing different ones of you that I've known for 10 20 30 years now and Some of you know that I'm talking about. Situations that you face where you had a child who you thought would never come to God And now today you're rejoicing because the Lord's heard your prayer You came to the point of surrender and said Lord. I can't do this. I just give him to you I give her to you and the Lord's come through Now in all the different venues on Oakland and the worship cafe and here in Wexford I came across this song about six or eight weeks ago and I heard this song and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said Let the people hear that song And so I asked pastor Rob Burke you I think. One of the most gifted Christian male vocalists in our city to sing this song for you It's a song for you parents Who maybe have a child? That right now isn't walking with God It's a song for those of you who may be long. For a child and haven't had one yet Don't have the capacity to have one perhaps you don't know what to do. It's a song for those of you who have unanswered questions It's a song about the promise of God. So I'm gonna ask Rob to come now and lead us. Let us be ministers to you. Let me pray father as Rob and Team come to present this song, we Commit it to you Father God as an offering and I pray that the faith of your people Lord and Specifically the moms that are here. The moms that are participating in our other campuses and venues would reach out by faith and Hear you speak to them that this one thing. We know is true Your grace is sufficient to see us through Jesus name.