Life Support, How To Be Fully Alive, Brain Power

I'd like to encourage you to take your notes and grab your outline that's in your notes. While you're doing that, I want to remind you that Election Day is just 10 days away. Many are saying it's going to be one of the closest elections in modern time, and I expect that's probably true. There's one thing that came to my attention this week that I thought was very important, and that is that the next president is very likely, based on just the reality of the ages of the Supreme Court justices, to appoint at least two, and likely three, Supreme Court justices in the United States Supreme Court. To me, that decision, even though it's ratified by the Congress, is one of the most powerful and influential decisions that the president will make. We need to really weigh through the implications of our decision as to who we're voting for and vis-a-vis what that individual will do to the Supreme Court. I heard even this week that there's been over 100,000 cases that have been brought to the courts concerning the diminishing of religious freedom in the United States in the last 13 to 14 months. All around us, you can see the encroaching of the secularization of our culture, and we just need to decide what's going to be there. You investigate. You do the homework between now and November 7th, and then vote accordingly. Let's not let that slip by. It's a very important dimension in the responsibility that we face coming up. By the way, if you'd like to pray about this, which many people are around the nation, this Friday at 7.30 up in the prayer chapel, we're having what we're calling WIN, Worship Intercession Night. We're going to be praying and seeking God from 7.30 to about midnight, I believe, for not just the elections and so, but all of the needs that we face as a church family and our missionary family as well. So that's this Friday, 7.30, up in the prayer chapel. Well, if you have your outline, I want to see if I can find my own in the midst of all these papers. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you about sometimes the stuff we do up here. I've resisted over the last almost three months of football season now to use any illustrations about football. Because when I do, invariably I get a communicator that says, I don't like those illustrations about football, I don't understand the game, it has nothing to do with my life, actually it ruins my Sabbath because my husband just sits there in front of the TV the whole day. Something like that. But this week, Coach Tim Lewis, the defensive coordinator of the Pittsburgh Steelers, explained how he has managed to turn the team, the Steelers, around in terms of their defensive performance over the last three weeks. Now, I may have these statistics just a little bit off, but my understanding is that he's had two consecutive shutouts and the previous game there was no touchdowns. So he's gone three games with no touchdowns. That's pretty remarkable in professional football. And when he was pressed, well, how did this happen, what have they been doing? He did not say, well, we've been trying harder, we've been practicing more, he did not say we're providing more motivation, he didn't say we brought in better players. You know what he said? He said, we took the defensive formation playbook and threw out a whole lot of stuff that wasn't really all that important and greatly simplified our defensive schemes and focused on doing a few things very well. And the result has been no touchdowns allowed in three consecutive games. That's pretty amazing. If we could just get the offense to do something with their side, we could have Super Bowl City here. But I thought that was a very interesting observation because he's accomplishing a whole lot by really doing less and focusing on what really matters. And when you're overloaded, loved ones, you just don't do very well. When you've got too much going on in your head, when you've got too much to think about, you just don't do the important things very well. Now, why do we get overloaded? Well, sometimes it's because many of us are quick to blame our boss or someone in authority. Well, there's so much expected of me. Others of us blame our spouse. They don't carry their part of the load. Some of us realize it's just us. We try to please too many people. Some of us got overextended financially. Our wants exceeded our abilities to pay and so now we're in trouble and we have to have a couple of jobs. Some of us made poor choices along the way and got ourselves upside down that way. Some of us just don't have a clear vision. We don't know where we're going in life. So we're trying a lot of different things and we're overloaded. But one very significant reason that we get overloaded is this. Listen, we tend to forget what is really important. That's why the Bible says hundreds of times, forget not the Lord your God. I mean, you look at the book of Deuteronomy. It's in there something like 80 times. Don't forget. Keep in front of you. Remember. You'll see those words all throughout the Bible. God is exhorting us to remember the things that he's done. Look in your outline. Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Just help me to keep in front of me the truth of your word. Yesterday in the very, very enriching Sacred Romance Seminar that only a few of you availed yourself of but many of you will hear about in the future, John Eldridge said this. He said, I believe he was quoting C.S. Lewis, forgetfulness is the number one enemy of spiritual growth. We forget what God does. And I want us today to hopefully bring some focus to our soul, to what really counts, to keep moving forward by remembering what God has done. How many of you believe God wants you to move forward? That what you've done, I mean, that your objective in life is just not to keep looking back and wondering what's going to happen. So many people are oriented to the past. I mean, the past has no... I don't believe God is past-oriented, but he wants us to remember and then to grow. I believe he's forward-looking. I believe that by just looking at your anatomy. Where do you put your eyeballs? Hopefully they're in the front of your head, not the back. How about your ears? Your ears basically kind of curve out just a little bit forward, right? I mean, they could go this way so you could hear what's being said behind you. When you walk, do you naturally kind of walk this way? It's much more awkward to walk this way, isn't it? Huh? What about your feet? Which way do your feet point? Forward. In fact, anatomically, I can only think of one part of your body that points backward. So maybe there's a message in that. Just don't get hung up looking back and focusing on the back, but remember the good things and then go forward. Now, I'm concerned here this morning that some of us will receive today, and I'm somewhat less concerned after the first message, the first service, because people told me that it didn't hit them that way, but what I'm going to share is going to be challenging. I know there are going to be some of you thinking, man, do I have a long way to go in this? But my goal here is just to raise a standard that I believe is in God's word for us in terms of how we are to bring focus to what really matters in life. And this isn't new. I mean, those of you who want something new from God, you might as well just start reading Revelation or something right now. This is just stuff you've heard before, but it's stuff that most of us are not living in. And listen, I believe if we just do what I'm going to say today, three things I'm going to say, just three, if we do them. Number one, our relationships in our families will be much better. Number two, the people around us will be greatly and positively impacted. And number three, there'll be far fewer divorces and meltdowns and pain and broken relationships in our lives. So here we go. Three simple truths to remember every day. Number one, the best use of life is to love. It's the highest goal. Look at the next verse. Let love be your highest goal. Not just one of the top ten. It's the number one thing. Let it be your highest goal. It's all about love is what God is saying. Let me give you two reasons why that's true. God says love is what life is about, most of all because that's what God is. 1 John says that God is love. 1 John 4, 16. God is love. I don't know exactly what that means. I can't define that. Other than to say that the essence of his nature is love. And so it makes sense that life would be about the essence of his nature. It's amazing how we get this all upside down and inside out. What's been the most popular television show of this last six months? Who wants to be a millionaire? I mean, if you follow... The Survivor came in second, but in the spring and in the summer. Who wants to be a millionaire? That was the big one. Who wants to be a millionaire? Look at the next verse. No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. You know what? Does a million dollars make you happy? No. You say, well, it would help me for a while. It might. But you go back to being you, and the people around you would still be them, and you can't change that with money. I wonder, however, would it be interesting to do a television program, who wants to be madly, passionately, really deeply in love? And have some kind of program like that. How many of you would watch that? How many women would watch that? How many guys would watch it because your wife told you to watch it? I have a hunch, I do. If it was done right, that's more important to people than money. To be deeply loved. And to know love. It's almost stunning to me how many people live life sort of backwards. They don't really understand. They don't make time for people. They disregard the feelings of others. They fit people into their lives when they can. It's not just another part of our lives. Love is what life is about. When asked, Jesus, tell us, what's the most important commandment in all of the Bible? Jesus unhesitatingly said, it's right there in your outline in Matthew chapter 22, he said, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself. That's the Cliff Notes version of what's really important in the Bible. So tell me then, why are we so prone to allow relationships to get the short end of the stick? Because we get overloaded, you see? Relationships are the first thing we can put to the side and other things start filling their way into our lives. We get preoccupied, distracted, we focus on what is urgent, not what's important. We forget what really matters. We take for granted, very often, the people that we love the most. I call that relational skimming. Have you done that lately? Where you thought, you know, this friend will understand if I don't get back to him this week. Very often it's our family members. They know that I love them and so I've got to get this done and I'll get back to them later. The point of life, God says, is love. And sometimes you just have to make time to discover that. You know, when my dad died two and a half years ago, my mom stopped coming to North Way. A few of you have noticed that over the years and commented on that and said you've missed her and I've appreciated that. But it just was too difficult for mom to drive all the way from Beaver over here. So, with some difficulty, she made the transition back to the little church that I grew up in in Beaver. And she was very pleased after her third or fourth visit to the church. She said, Son, it's so wonderful. He said, The minister there preaches the gospel. You have to understand, when I went to the church, there were wonderful people there but the minister didn't preach the gospel. This minister preached the gospel. And so mom would say to me, You really have to meet my pastor. She would say, He's just a wonderful guy. So, I stopped in this last Monday to meet the pastor. And I walked in my old church and I'd been in there for a number of years. Looked at the pews where I used to crawl underneath when no one was around after the service. Looked in the closets where I used to hide during Sunday school. And I sat down. The pastor graciously gave me about a half an hour time. We had a great exchange together. And it was just a good thing to slow down enough to meet this guy. I even went down into the basement where he had youth group when in sixth grade I had my first kiss. Don't kid yourself. Things happen in church. That's all that happened. Frankie Avalon singing Venus in the background. Remember that? But I had to make the time to do that. Because it was important to my mom that I meet this pastor. He said, You really need to meet my pastor. He's a good pastor. He even comes to visit me. The other reason on this first point that love is what life is about is because it's the only thing that really lasts. Isn't that true? Every other thing in life eventually will decay, rust out, burn out, or fall apart. Have you discovered that? Have you looked in the mirror lately? It's just happening. 1 Corinthians 13, 13 says, last scripture, There are three things that will endure. Faith, hope, and money. No, that's not what it says. Faith, hope, and love. How many of us want to leave a legacy? How many of us want to make a difference? How many of us want to be a positive influence in the world so that people will say when we die, the world is a better place because they were there? Well, most all of us do. But we think it's going to happen by some accumulation and some foundation or this or that. But you know what? It's almost invariably because of the way we treat people. God has shown us how to leave a legacy. It's by filling life with love. Few people remember our achievements. If you look up here, you can see sort of vaguely on the screen, it's a trophy case. When's the last time you took someone down into your basement and showed them your old drama team trophies or your old debate club trophies or your old soccer or basketball? They're nice when you get them and so when you celebrate. But, well, I won the sales award again for the region. I've been around a lot of people when they've died. It's just part of the job, part of the ministry. It's a hard, difficult moment. And all of my experience of being around people when they've died, I've never had one say, could you go and get my diplomas and my sales awards and bring them around and put them around my bed and just let me be reminded. I've never had one say, could you bring the trophy in that I won for the best bowling score in my bowling league or winning the club golf membership. I've never had one person say that. You know what they always ask for when they're about to die? You know what they want around their bed? What do they want? They want people. They want family and friends. That's what they want. Do we have to wait until we're laying prone on that bed about to breathe our last to get that? Or can we get it right now? Can we right now understand that the most important thing in the whole world is probably right beside you right now? Or hopefully, someone you're going to see today. It's relationship. That's what really matters in life. Those other things aren't wrong or bad, don't misunderstand me, but they're not what really matters. And eternally speaking, when we stand before God on that day in which we all will stand, he's not going to ask us, which of you had the nicest yard? Who of you cleaned up your leaves the best? Who had the lowest golf score or the best stock portfolio? He's going to ask us, what did you do with the love that my son brought to you? And then he's going to say, and how did you share that love with others? Two questions. It's a two-question test. Now, it might be a really simple idea, but why not consider just starting every day with the commitment not to get out of bed. Just stop before you get out of bed and say, Lord, if I do nothing else today, allow me to spend some time demonstrating some love to somebody. You might even start with the person that you were with. Let the first thing that you say that comes out of your mouth to your spouse be something positive in the morning. That can be difficult some mornings. And yet, it's so easy to get into the negative habit and forget that God's put you there to love. And if you go through a day and you haven't expressed love, basically, you've wasted another day. The greatest use of life is love, not achievements. We intuitively know it, we just forget it. Second, turn your outline over. The best expression of love is time. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. Look at 1 John 3.18. We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words. If you say you love, but you don't share any time, you're only dreaming about it. A little girl said to her daddy, Daddy, you hold your briefcase more than you hold my hand. You see, kids pick up on things like that. And as much as we're obsessed with stuff, and as we enter into the holiday season, we all start getting the catalogs, and we get the mailings, and we get the online promotions, and we get the stuff from the stores, and we see all these gifts. You want to know what the greatest gift some of us could give to someone we really love? It's just one thing. It's focused attention. It's just sitting down with someone across the table, and looking into their eyes, and just listening to them. After I stopped to see my mom's pastor, I went on up the hill and sat down with my mom. She said, turn off that cell phone. And I just sat there. And we talked for maybe 45 minutes about her pastor. She really likes that pastor. But you know, that 45 minutes that we connected about what's going on in her church and in her life right now, I could have dumped a bag of diamonds on the table, and it wouldn't really have mattered as much as those 45 minutes that we spent together. I'm not perfect at that by any means, and I don't want to misrepresent myself in that. I've made a lot of mistakes, but one thing, younger people listen. You think that you'll have a lot of time to catch up on all this stuff. I just want to encourage you. Use the time that you have now. You don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. You don't know where you may end up. You can get transferred, some of you, tomorrow and be gone to the other side of the nation or the world. Circumstances change. Life does some unexpected things. Use the time that you have now. Now, what's very interesting about this is the currency of this culture, of this generation, of the new millennium. What is the currency? It's time. It used to be said, time is money. Actually, time is more valuable than money. Did you know that we had people for this Sacred Romance conference who said to me initially, I'd like to go, but it's $99, and I don't have $99. Well, I had some generous people who came up and said, I'll pay for anyone who wants to go. Just let them know. We let people know. You know what people end up saying? Well, I just can't give the time. I don't have 12 hours to give to a conference. Time's the currency of the new millennium. But here's the great news, friends. You might be sitting next to someone whose net worth is a million dollars or more, but you know what? You have exactly as much of today's currency as they do. You have the exact number of minutes, the exact number of seconds, as they do. We all share that currency. And so the great news is you're just as wealthy as the person next to you in terms of your time. And so you have the opportunity to just show what a good steward you'd be if you were as wealthy as the person next to you, because you are in terms of time. And time is the currency of the new millennium. So invest it wisely. Give it prudently to people that you care about. You know, I want to say a word to young couples. We go through lots of different things that happen, and I see young couples who start out all just like investing in each other when they're dating and so on. When they get married, then they suddenly get on the career track, and they get obsessed with accumulating and doing it, buying a house, and they forget one another. And two, three, five years down the road, they look at each other and say, Wow, why did I marry you? Why? Because they've forgotten the most important thing. They've forgotten to love. I see some older couples who now, 20, 30 or more years later, they've stopped talking about what's going on in the heart. They've stopped talking about the transformation of God's Spirit in their lives. They've stopped talking about the Word in them, and they just talk about superficial things, and how's the dinner going, and what's going on with the yard, and how's the house, and da-da-da-da. But friends, it's what's in the heart that you've got to communicate. It's time. It's getting away and looking in that person's eyes and saying, You really matter to me. Children, you know what? Kids love stuff. No question about it. They love to get stuff. They love to open stuff. They love to play with stuff. But in the end, more than anything, kids want you. That's what they want. They just want to know that you care. A shocking statistic that I read this week. Experts are, even, again, not religious experts, but just psychological experts across the board are saying that the emotional cost of divorce really is higher now than they ever thought it was. And in fact, many counselors are pushing the limit and saying, before they counsel toward divorce, have you really considered what this is going to mean? It never really is over in terms of its impact on the lives of the kids. Forty percent of kids of divorced parents will go the next year without seeing their biological father. And you can't do anything to make up for that lost investment. You say, Well, it's such a sacrifice. Pastor, it's so difficult. I want to give more to my kids. But I've got a lot of responsibility. I want you to hear a testimony today of someone just like many of you. Someone with a good job and a lot of responsibility. And who doesn't have this all wrapped up yet, but is growing in his understanding of what God wants of him. And would you welcome Steve Tyson as he comes to share his testimony with this one. Give him a good hand. Thanks, Steve. Good morning. When I was asked to give my testimony about building margins in my life, I thought, I don't have the time. But needless to say, here I am. I need to start by rewinding to the winter of 1999. My family and I were living in New York, working for one of the largest telecom companies in the industry, and I was on a fast track to success. Time seemed to be plentiful. Evenings consisted of spending time with my wife and then three daughters. One afternoon, a close colleague of mine presented me with an interesting job opportunity. I found myself being courted by a new startup company looking for my type of technical expertise. I would have to leave the comfort and tranquility of my present employer and join him, along with a few other respected colleagues, in a dream. The possibility of a pre-IPO company was very attractive, but the thought of leaving an established career and uprooting my family was somewhat unsettling. After much prayer and a huge leap of faith, I terminated my employment and we packed up our family, leaving everything that we knew behind, and moved here to Pittsburgh. At the onset, the company goal was to develop four cities with a stretch objective to expand to six or seven by the year-end 1999. With our first four cities completed, ahead of schedule and under budget, our investors decided that six or seven cities was a very obtainable target. By the middle of November, with 11 cities completed, the goal was for one more before year-end. After all, with the aggressive schedule and the financial market ripe, we could accelerate our IPO by about four months. The early departures from the office and evenings of leisure time with the family were replaced by 10- to 12-hour days, rental cars, corporate jets, hotels, and frequent flyer miles. The spontaneous lunch dates, seeing as my home was only 10 minutes from the office, were replaced with hectic lunch appointments, interviews, business dinners, conference calls, and evenings alone in a hotel room, saying goodnight to my children over the phone. I was not comfortable with this, but after all, if I worked hard for about 15 more years and our IPO was successful, I could plan for an early retirement and have the financial security that would allow me to spend a lot of time with my family. I did continue to make or take time for family vacations and was conscientious to keep the commitments that I made to my daughters when they were young. One of these commitments was to take their birthday off and spend the day with them. After having breakfast with my oldest daughter on one such occasion, she said to me, Dad, do you know that I've lived with you half as long as I will? This struck a chord deep within me that said you have got to slow down and invest more in what God has given you. I did not know it at that time, but the margins of my life were starting to disappear. We did lots of things together as a family and those times were very valuable, but unfortunately, the fun, leaf-jumping afternoons turned into we need to do the whole yard because I've got to go out of town again tomorrow days. And the occasional hike at McConnell's Mills were spent trying to sneak in the occasional conference call on the way, checking the never-ending voicemails, or answering the familiar sound of my pager. My wife said that even though I was there, I wasn't really there. My family dinners at home were consumed with thoughts and plans about the day or the upcoming week. I kept telling my wife that the push would soon be off and then we could just settle into a somewhat normal lifestyle. She asked me to what cost to the girls. Three more cities up, time to rest? No, three more to do before the end of the year. After helping to grow the company to 29 cities and 10 states, three competitive acquisitions, and 18 months of diehard devotion, my loving wife quite frankly stated that I was needed more at home and that work would always be there to consume my time. We were blessed with a healthy son in June of 2000 and the girls being ages 10, 8, and 5 needed my attention more than ever. My motto of I work to live had become I live to work. In a conversation with my boss, he told me that I needed to trim my wick. To him that meant to just work harder with more energy. I was convinced that if I trimmed my wick anymore, my lamp would just go out. At that point I realized that my margins had disappeared, but I was looking out for the welfare of my family, wasn't I? Let me now fast forward to last Sunday morning. Pastor Jay preached about finding margins in life. The effects of a hurried lifestyle which are feeling more stressed, losing your joy, being less productive, and not able to hear God's voice seem to fit me like a tailored suit. I listened intently as Jay gave examples of how to slow your pace. Could I stop the push for more? I wanted to. Could I learn to say no? That one seemed easy. Could I obey the fourth commandment to rest, recharge, and refocus on the Lord's day? That was a no-brainer. But could I wait for God's timing? That was the tough one. I felt that I needed to take advantage of the gifts that God gave me and develop myself to the best of my abilities. I needed to be aggressive, to pick while the picking was good, to make sure that my children had a good education and that they were financially secure. My life had become a series of pages with words and activities packed right to the edges. But God, in His ever forceful way, had another plan for me. A return to my life. What is a margin? To me, a margin is the space and time where I can reflect on what I have learned, much as how we use the margins of our Bible to make notes about the scriptures that we have just read. A margin is a space to expound or be creative with what God is saying to me about how to live my life, love my wife, and rear my children. I needed to apply this principle to all aspects of my life, not only to my family, but to my work as well. I needed to reinvest in the lives of my family to give them back what the workplace had taken away, to give them the person that was fun to be around again and who could leave work at work and be a daddy to my kids and a good listening husband to my wife. Unbeknownst to Jay, that was the commitment that I made to God that morning. I would love to tell you that this past week was filled with joy and bliss, 7 by 24, and that I was home early every evening playing with the kids, but no, it was spent in three cities in four days, returning late on Thursday evening just before bedtime. It was spent in hotels, airports, and restaurants, but I did allow myself to take time to reflect, to write in the margins of what God has done for me and my family and how good and faithful he has been to us. For the first time in months, a Friday off was spent sleeping in, drinking coffee with my wife, carving pumpkins, and turning off the laptop, cell phone, and pager. I have since changed my work ethic from Ecclesiastes 9.10, which states, Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. For in the grave where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom, to Psalm 37.7, which states, Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. I know that the margins of life will fill up quickly, and at times they will be full, but I know that I need to continue to commit to consciously build margins into my life and to take advantage of those margins when I have the opportunity. What I appreciate about what Steve said is that he's not standing here as someone who's figured this out, but as someone like many of us who need God's grace to help us to fulfill what we know where to do. Let me just close with this. The best use of life is to love. The best expression of love is time, and the best time to love is now. The best time to love is now. It's only a life of regret that says, I'll get there when things settle down, because they never do. Look at Galatians 6.10, Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone. Ephesians 5.16, Use every chance you have for doing good. And whenever you possibly can, do good to those who need it. Never tell your neighbors to wait until tomorrow if you can help them now. Why is this the best time? Because this is the time that requires sacrifice. Now is the time that really shows that love matters. How many grandparents are here and you wake inside because your kids are too busy to come around and bring their grandkids and make the time for them? You see, it's just this never-ending cycle of, well, I'll get to it. We have no guarantees. Today is the day. As we head down this political homestretch, I was struck by this story that I read this week about Chuck Colson. Most of you know of him. Head of Prison Fellowship and former aide to President Nixon and George McGovern, who sat on opposite sides of the political spectrum, but both ended up with the same regret. Here's what they write. Chuck Colson said this. He said, As I think back on my life, my biggest regret is not spending more time with my kids. Making family your top priority means going against the culture where materialism and workaholism are rampant. It means realizing that you may not advance as fast in your career as some do. It means being willing to accept a lower standard of living, knowing that you are doing the right thing for your children, giving them the emotional security that they will draw on for the rest of their lives. Are you willing to make that financial sacrifice? Or are things more important than people? He writes. And then George McGovern, the one-time presidential candidate, wrote a book about his daughter Terry, who died of alcoholism. In 1994, she was found frozen to death in a snowbank where she'd fallen in a drunken stupor. After his daughter died, McGovern poured over Terry's diaries and talked to all of her friends trying to figure out what she was thinking. And he discovered that he was not as good a father as he thought he'd been. While he was spending 18-hour days fighting for political causes, his daughter Terry was at home writing in her diary that she missed her daddy, but he probably didn't miss her because he probably didn't care ab