Life Support, How To Be Fully Alive II, Just Breathe Margin In Life

Well, the team's put up some signs up here and we're going to look right at this together this morning So take your outlines, please out of your North Way notes. I want to talk about this issue of margin in life Pastor Dave began last week with an excellent introduction to this whole topic And I found myself for the past couple of weeks asking the question am I normal in this I mean Or am I just the weirdo them? Am I the one that's kind of out of whack here? and Carol assured me that I am not normal and so we've kind of settled that but is it normal to always be 10 or 15 minutes? Late is it normal to always be 10 or 15 miles an hour over the speed limit? Is it normal to always be you know 10 or 15 pounds beyond where you want to be? We're starting to accept those things as being normal and The culture is playing right? I mean they are just feeling it aren't they did you know that McDonald's is creating now? They've been test marking different cities what they call a fast track where you get a credit account with them, and then when you step up to the to the Drive-thru you can order your Burger and get it faster because you just give them a number they don't have to do any accounting with money It saves you about 20 seconds There you go The turnpike our Pennsylvania turnpike skating in touch They're getting this thing I think it was an insta toll or something like that where you put a little Deal on your on your windshield and when you come up to the booth You know it reads it and you can go right through so you know You know it's so cool because after you've waited 20 minutes at Donegal just sitting there And then you say 10 seconds going through the booth. It's just it's supposed to sort of soften the blow I guess of the whole deal So we see these things all over Did you know the sale of frozen orange juice is falling way off because people don't want to wait for it to thaw out? They're buying mixed juices, and that's been happening a lot more People are paying for speed Domino's became the number one seller of pizza when they promised they deliver a pizza to your house in 30 minutes or less and America loved it. You'll hear it on the game today call by you know the end of the first quarter, and you'll have the pizzas before halftime The CEO of Domino's recently said we don't sell pizzas we sell delivery If you ever had a Domino's pizza You'd agree with them We pay for speed in all kinds of things if you have a computer The faster your computer, you know if you have a 90 megahertz computer It's this amount of money if it's 166, 266, 450, what's the highest now? It's like 850. Is it a million? I mean it's something like and you keep paying more and more for that speed. It just keeps moving up We're surrounded by FedEx, faxes, cell phones, ATMs, beepers, pom-poms. If you have any of those on right now You might just want to turn them off emails Does all this stuff really serve us, or does it enslave us? I really have that question going on in my head The average white-collar worker now receives 40 emails a day That means if he or she goes on a two-week vacation. They're gonna have about 500 emails waiting for them when they come back It's just astonishing. I mean and you know I Don't see any end to it. I think it's gonna keep having dr. Dr. Richard Swenson who wrote the book margin It just was kind of the the landmark Teaching on this whole subject says this and a more recent publication He said the gift we most badly need this Christmas is a phone-less cordon. I think about that one In other words, let's just get unplugged. Okay. Let's just not let's not be so connected all the time Let's just find some room. Let's find some margin In the late 60s I referred to this some years ago, but I want to go back to it I dug a little bit more expert testimony to the United States Senate in the Department of Labor Said that because of labor saving technology that the real problem at the turn of this century The one we've just done now would be what to do with all of our free time That the average American worker would work 30 hours a week 30 weeks a year how many find that's been really true for you. They're full-time employed At the same time back in the late 60s when they made that that prognostication They also said that you know, we needed to speed up some other things and they created this this wonderful convenience Of selling food not based on quality or price but based on speed We called it Fast food Not good food or cheap food, but fast food and so what people did is they drove in the restaurant and they could walk up and Order their food and sit down and eat real quickly, but even that became inconvenient. So we created the what? The drive-thru so families could buy their food and eat it in their vans as God intended them to do all along You know and then you know when you run out of food Then you just tell your kids to root around and find the fries and the gummy bears that are all stuck back in there I've been in some of your vans folks. That's not a stretch. Things are really piling up and It's going to affect us. Let me share with you a few ways It's going to affect us and these are meant to be and these are some road signs We took right out of the PennDOT manual. Here's some caution if you're feeling any of these It could be that you're one of the ones who's getting just a little a little over extended First of all the effects of a hurried lifestyle. I feel more stressed Your body starts sending you messages your muscles tense up you may get headaches a lot of folks get stomach problems You find you can't keep Everything sort of in balance physically speaking look what song of songs verse 6 of chapter 1 says I had no time to take care of myself How many of you have said something like this? I know I need to work out, but I just don't have time we Don't have time to take care of us. We had too much going on and this builds over time Into a very high price on our physical bodies second. I lose my joy. I also loose it I mean I let it go, but I lose my joy Is it not true that the more that's on your plate the more you're thinking about the less joyful you are do you find yourself many? times You know you're Your fuse gets shorter and shorter, and you have less and less tolerance One of the things I loved about our community day last Saturday a week ago It was I watched people come in people from this church in fact and come up in their cars and park their cars and pull out those those kind of Foldable chairs and just sit down in them for six hours and just kind of talk to people and just enjoy Slowing down for a day It was really a pretty awesome thing There was a sense of contentment they look at the next verse my days go by faster than a runner they fly away without my seeing any joy Now some people are driven to achieve some people by the way even put a righteous sort of deal about it They say well You know God's driving me to do this and God's calling you to do that and and they say the devil never takes a day's Rest and I say well who's their model for life? I mean is it God? Or it's the devil Another thing that will happen to a person with a hurried lifestyle is and this is a long-term thing they'll become less productive This is truth friends in the short term You might get a few more things done here and there and you might pick up a little a few more accounts or a few More projects, but in the long term you will dry up your creativity will lessen and your productivity will wane And you will begin to hate what you do Proverbs 21 5 in the message careful planning puts you ahead in the long run hurry and scurry put you further behind We are not energizer bunny people. We don't just keep on going and going and going we find if we do that that we will begin to burn out a person in a hurry proverb says makes Mistakes no question about that and finally the most significant to me the most significant Effect of a hurried lifestyle is that I can't hear God's voice If there's one thing that's clear in all the scripture. It's this when it comes to God's voice The Lord is not on our timetable if you say you know Lord. I've got an hour right now If you're gonna speak to me, this is it you will find that God generally will have nothing to say to you and The fact the matter is friends that in the Bible when people learn from God Their lives became incredibly productive incredibly impactful and incredibly anointed But sometimes it took months and some cases it took years to hear from God Now I'm not suggesting that we wait for years before we do anything I'm just saying that we need to get into the rhythm of making time to allow God to speak Jesus said it this way man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word every rhema That proceeds from the mouth of God and so today if you're not hearing rhema to your heart Then I would submit to you. You are not fully alive So I want to look at the antidote to this this marginlessness And and by the way, this isn't something just a couple of us are dealing with today again quoting MD. Dr. Richard Swenson He says this the marginless lifestyle is a relatively new invention and one of progress is most Unreasonable ideas yet in a very short time it has become a nearly universal malady few are immune It is not limited to a certain socio-economic group nor a certain educational level Even those with a deep spiritual faith are not spared as you'll hear today in our testimony. I Happen to know that the majority of you in the room today are dealing with at some level and I want to say this This is more spiritual than we think it is. It's not simply a matter of cleaning up our schedules It's much more profound than that So what do we do? Well as pastor Dave said last week and I want to get go back and just reaffirm if you didn't get that message you want To pick up the tape because it has to do with what really drives you but once you know that Once you get a hold of desires you see desires are a good thing And I want to be really clear that I'm not talking about eliminate your desires In fact, John Eldridge will be speaking this Friday and Saturday says this we are desire It is the essence of the human soul the secret of our existence Absolutely, nothing. I love this of human greatness is ever accomplished without it Not a symphony has been written a mountain climbed and injustice fought or a love sustained apart from desire Desire fuels our search for the life. We want to live Desire is a good thing But on the other hand Desires that are out of control the desire For more and more and more and more has got to and that's our next blank. It's got to stop It's got to stop Stop the constant push for more the outline says it's better to have only a little with peace of mind than be busy all the time And friends, I'm not sure we believe that Some of us are busy all the time See these desires if unchecked the desire for more money more stuff more achievement more influence more pleasure more wealth more thrills Can lead to a lifestyle? That is contrary to God's design and will for your life. In fact those desires Fueled our ambition and ambition again is not a bad thing, but ambition unchecked can be a terribly destructive thing and the core of What is our addictions in life It becomes an issue of lordship a strange contradiction Oftentimes the most ambitious people that I know are underneath it all the most insecure in some respects and I cognitively they're not aware of it, but underneath it what's driving them is some sense of Authenticating and validating who they are. That's why they try so hard. I Remember years ago when I was being called in the ministry and I didn't have a lightning-bolt experience It was a process that some of you can identify with My dad came down and this was I was living in Washington DC and my dad came down and I told the folks over the phone What I was gonna be doing and he said to me, do you know what you're about to give up? Do you know what price you're gonna pay for this and and he wasn't doing that because he was against it he just wanted me to count the cost and To be sure that my identity wasn't gonna be in how successful I was materially speaking because he said you're not you know He talked about in terms of earning potential ten years ago more recent history as Invitations and you know the church began to grow and people noticed us and the invitations came in I had a decision about where would my security and identity be did I have to be in a lot of these brochures to be Important to me that I have to have my name listed on a lot of you know Advisory councils no because I was called to be a pastor And I was secure in that it's about identity not activity look at the next verse a Relaxed attitude lengthens a man's life the jealousy rots away I don't want to go down the road of talking about comparing yourself to others. You know how destructive that is comparison ruins contentment So recognize who you are you're fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm 139 says and you need to celebrate that that's the first point next We got to learn To slow down and to say no on occasion One of the benefits of our culture is if we can get some things done more quickly than it allows us from do some other Things how many of you know if you go to Myrtle Beach, and you take a plane how long is it? How long is the flight? Hour and a half or so you know maybe two hours max if you drive to Myrtle Beach. How long is it? Well, it depends on the number of potty stops, but for most people It's about what 12 hours or so so you know if you basically can save a couple days of beach time That's our thinking but what we end up doing if you just take that principle and overlay it We speed up a lot of other things hoping to have more free time to do what we want to do But we end up filling it up with other stuff that comes along Some of us have a tremendous inability to say no and When people come and ask us for anything the first thing we want to do is say well You know I want to be a servant I'm but friends listen some of us need to learn If we want margin in our lives for God we need to be able to say no to some other things you know no I I can't come and paint your house with you. No. I can't I can't fix your car. I can't decorate your kitchen I can't watch your kids wherever it might be now. I'm not asking everyone just to retreat I'm just saying be discerning ask yourself am I called to this look at the next verse an Impulsive vow a positive promise is a trap Later, you'll wish you could get out of it How many of you remember that it's been a lot easier to get into some things than to get out? Is it easier to get into debt or out of debt? Is it easier to get into a relationship or out of one is it easier to get into trouble or out of trouble Is it easier to fill up your schedule Or thin it out There's a difference between could and should One of the things that I investigated about this was the life of Jesus, and it used to bother me I remember the first time I really wrestled with Matthew 15 When a woman in need came to Jesus Christ a woman who was very all Canaanite woman not a Jew Came to Jesus and said master. You know heal me and Jesus looked at her and did he have the power to heal her Absolutely, but what did he say? He said No, he said I came only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel Matthew 15 21 Well, he told the woman no I said wow well Maybe he's not as compassionate as I thought maybe you know maybe he had a limited amount of resource to give out And the woman didn't go away. She said good Lord. You know I Need you to heal me Jesus So it's not right to give the food To others the those who are called she said but even the dogs eat the crumbs off the master's table and that answer got Jesus attention and Jesus said your faith has healed you Your faith has made you well, so even Jesus Said no on occasion Until he was moved by the spirit Of the father one of the things I have found most helpful Is to create a what matters most list in my life to do the things to make a list not to do's But what is most important to spread some affirmation to give? Thanks to pray for those that I have promised to pray for to give a hug or a touch now and then To ask a question is this really worth it Some of us may need to go on an activity fast We may need to slow down, but you know you go on a diet If you fast you know if you fast from food, what do you do? You stop eating that food for a while right if you're going to die you stop being service You can do some of that with activities for a while Try taking your watch off for a day How many would have an absolute you know it would be the a Panic attack if you didn't have your watch didn't didn't know honey. We've got 37 minutes left in this service. I mean you know Try taking your watch off for a day You know next time you go to the grocery store to the Walmart park as far away as possible from the door and Walk at a leisurely pace and once you pick up your items and stroll choose the longest line to get in You know and Just look at all those people and just think about how frazzled they are trying to find the shortest line and the quickest checker and the Bagger and all that kind of stuff and when you get near the front read the National Enquirer You know just just chill out a little bit and relax We just need to be reminded now and then you know we don't have to always win This summer I was over in the morning to get a cup of coffee to come over for a full day here at the office and went over to the the Starbucks over in Wexford and you know it parked the car here and and got out of the car and I Just started walking and noticed the woman on the other side of the of the parking lot Parked her car got at the same time, and it was kind of just clear that we were both headed toward the coffee shop And you know I'm thinking well. I got to start picking up the pace here, so I'm picking up the pace I Mean I'm gonna get there and and and this woman is pretty professionally dressed and she was clearly and so she starts picking up the pace Well, you know I'm gauging I'm a pretty tall guy I can stretch it out and man And I get to the door and just maybe a fraction of a second before she doesn't I put my hand through and as sure as I know the voice of the Lord. I heard the Lord speak to my heart. He said hold the door for her You know I hate that I Mean my manhood is at stake here. I have And so I pulled the door like this and she said thanks pastor J. Oh It's such a good moment Because I mean there was clearly this spirit of competition going on there And I was just you know I've blown it more times than I've gotten it right, but at least that time. It was a moment Our lives get in step with God by letting him set the pace Next obey the fourth commandment You have six days in which to do your work, but the seventh day is a day of rest Dedicated to me you know we tend to take these ten commandments and None of us have a problem with also not steal or commit adultery or murder. You know those really intense ones But this one well we kind of fudge just a little bit I mean, that's all this one's not a life-and-death one is it after all can I suggest? you that God had a reason to put this in the big ten and Not only did he make it a commandment he also modeled it in his creation He took a day of rest, and it wasn't because he was tired It was because he wanted us to know the need in our rhythm of life It doesn't really matter by the way what day it is Colossians 2 makes it clear that some have one day that they call the Sabbath and others another day It's as long as you have a day Now I've made this observation before And I'll say it again even though some of you don't like me to say it I think it's true The Sabbath is not your day to catch up on your paperwork and your emails Your honeydew lists and all the other chores that you didn't get done on Saturday or to go to the mall and just hang out It's a day to do some God-oriented things Thank you for the one amen, okay, I Know I'm just stepping on a few toes here, but I believe that this is true There are three things I jotted down I feel as you read scripture these things emerge as and they're not on your outline But you might want to jot them down if you're gonna yield To what the Lord is saying here's what you got to do I Think it's a time to slow down your physical pace and have some rest take a nap Your body needs rest It's a time to recharge relationships number two Relationships that are really important your family. You should spend time with your family on Sunday Or your dear friends Or other members of the body of Christ where your relationships and your emotional tanks can be recharged and third It's a time to refocus your spirit And By that I mean Every Sabbath whatever day they should have a time of solitude and quiet and worship a time when you and God just sort of makes sure that you connect Corporate worship like we're gonna have here today reignites our passion for personal worship and enables us to regain perspective This is really important I want to just pause here and and capture your attention for one moment This thing is important to me because what I believe happens is we start in this track and Without even knowing it we get going so fast That we forget what really matters to God you want to know the reason why Jesus is perceived to be So endearing and engaging to people you wonder why kids would run up to him Do you know why people followed him even before he got to places they were there waiting for him? because he was Being led by God the father in fact the Bible says that he only did what pleased the father look at verse 29 of John 8 I Always do it pleases him and then we have a verse John 5 19. Let's put that one up as well I only do what I see the father doing that says So Jesus wasn't ever in a hurry. I Never read in the Bible that he hurried off to Galilee Or He moved quickly into Jerusalem because he was in a hurry no, it doesn't say that This is very important because you see if we're to connect with God and find our focus in him We need to wrestle this one down to the ground because it's about obedience dear ones. That's what it's about It's about who's going to be the Lord of our lives our schedule our career our priorities Or the Lord of life, and I know that's a hard one And I'm asking myself that question, I hope you will today as well Well, how do I do that how do I know what God's leading to that's that whisper of the Spirit to you That's that little voice you need to hear because you see even if you're getting away with it in the short term in the long term It will catch up to you I want you to hear testimony today as Ron and Sharon Brooks come to give their testimony You're gonna hear a testimony of a Christian couple who thought they were doing what God wanted and and really were moving along and then They learned the hard way That they needed to make some adjustments. Let's give them a warm welcome as they come up to share Good morning as A youth I Discovered that I could focus on a task Organize my thoughts and efforts and accomplished a lot in a given period of time and in some circumstances outperform my peers Not that I was very intelligent. I just focused and it became an obsession I finished graduate school and accepted a position with a multinational food processor. I soon learned that focused behavior Filling my days and nights with job and delivering problem-solving solutions was rewarded. I Was on a roll and I loved it. I worked long hours focused and it seemed that every three to four years I received a promotion. Oh In 1979 I took off two whole weeks to get married. My friends couldn't believe it Life was great. I had married a beautiful Christian woman We were living in Ohio serving in a church two sons and financial blessings We were busy enjoying life and had Christian friends vacations were packed and focused I had our trips planned down to the hour. We wouldn't want to waste any time Sharon kept saying let's just slow down and relax a bit. I didn't understand No major disappointments in my life God didn't allow any major setbacks to occur that would slow me down And I believe God was blessing us and I was working hard on the next business deal Well, let's fast forward to the 90s more job promotions staying focused a move to Pittsburgh finding a church By the world's standards. We were extremely successful Some would say we had arrived Six-figure income with bonuses traveling first-class stock options black-tie dinners corporate jets And hockey tickets at Center Ice. Oh, I was traveling 50% of the time working 12 plus hours per day But I thought I could keep it all going God family church Career, I just needed to focus a little harder and get a little more organized I could probably do it all I but I couldn't say no to requests for my time Except to my family. They got what was left a plan started to unfold Financially it appeared That I could retire at age 55 We developed a plan God continued to bless another promotion and I rationalized I know I'm too busy and out of balance, but with early retirement I'll have plenty of time to make things right with my family and we started to dream We didn't seem to have time to enjoy God's blessings anymore Vacations became part of business trips interrupted by cell phones and faxes, but I was on a roll and on weekends. I would collapse Needing the time to recover for the next business trip and deal I just wasn't able or willing to retool my schedule and reduce my busyness because we all know God doesn't approve of laziness, right and That busyness is one of the fruits of the Spirit, right? I Started to lose my passion work was becoming more stressful, but in just a few Able to retire and we'd be financially secure. I met with pastor J for breakfast I'm not sure why but I recall expressing to him my concern that I might be out of balance He suggested a book by Bob Buford entitled halftime It was about a cable TV executive that reoriented his life of busyness After the tragic death of his son and how he refocused his passion on significant issues people and Expanding the kingdom of God. The book was good making significant contribution to the kingdom made sense But I I didn't know how to adjust my behavior. It had become a way of life And in just a few years I would be retired anyway and would have plenty of time to reorient myself And upon retirement we were even talking about full-time Christian service. I Had been meeting with a group of Christian men twice a month for the last six years and in that forum I have shared my personal struggles and issues and I knew I was out of control and shared that with my brothers often a Solution unfolded I told Sharon with the recent stock market advancements and a few minor Modifications to our financial plan. I had devised a way now to retire at age 50 five years early If only we could survive that long no major disappointments in my life Well, I could see that this was really serious and in January of 1998 it became frightening He was trying to do it all and was having difficulty sleeping he was depressed and he was tired most of the time Life just wasn't fun anymore He was on a runaway train that was getting ready to hit a brick wall and I knew it I feared for his safety. I Encouraged him I begged him and I probably nagged him to slow down If not for himself, but for his family All I could do was stand by watch wait and pray July 18th 1998 Had a very restless night by 5 a.m. I Just didn't feel well all the symptoms of a heart attack. I decided we should go to the ER EKG blood tests then the wonderful words from the doctor I have reviewed your test results and you have not had a heart attack yet They kept me for two days in intensive cardiac care and did many more tests, but nothing life-threatening showed up Diagnosis, I was exhausted. My primary care doctor told me to go home for two weeks and rest I didn't realize the seriousness of my condition. I slept for long periods and even routine household tasks Retiring I started back to work in August, but as far But I was far from recovery But I had this plan to retire at 50 remember then that awful Telephone call my father who lived in Ohio had been involved in an automobile crash in front of his home He had been hit by a drunk driver driving over 85 miles per hour and was instantly killed The adrenaline kicked in I went full speed 18 hours a day for a whole week a Week later. I nearly collapsed at work. I called Sharon and asked her to come and get me. I couldn't drive home We went straight to the doctor's office and he told me to go home and rest for a month During that time I had time to do a lot of reflecting and praying and listening to God God what do you want me to do? What is your will for my life How do you want me to proceed? for the first time I admitted to God and Sharon That I couldn't keep it going and I asked for forgiveness Immediately I felt a tremendous freedom and lifting of a burden and a peace entered my spirit We Decided it would be best for all of us if I severed my employment relationship I approached a member of the board of directors of the company and requested a planned exit a very amenable agreement was reached And I left the company now for the first time. I had a major life crisis I didn't have a plan But I believed God would honor my decision and I was very much at peace I had worked my plan for years. Now. I was going to rely totally on God and abide by his leading It was a difficult struggle for me for nearly a year watching one slow recovery was agonizing He had been so full of life Passion and energy now it was all gone Often I wondered if good health would ever return At times I was fearful What is going to happen to us God Ronnie so young we continue to search for God's purpose in our lives Trusting him completely with our lives and our future During the difficult periods. I began to spend time in the book of Psalms Psalm 34 19 became an important passage for me and it goes like this a Righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from it all I read it over and over and over and just trusted Slowly things began to fall into place How should I proceed I Had been a business executive for 25 years with a single company. It was like starting over We first surrounded ourselves with Christian friends some who are here today and asked them to give us Counsel and advice we tried to get a better understanding of our gifts and our passions and what we had enjoyed about life We needed some joy to return We believed God would provide us with an opportunity. I sent out letters attended seminars had interviews I once thought God was placing me in a pair of church ministry But he closed that door other doors seemed to open but we had several false stars I still was at peace and we just trusted and today we continue to trust we continue to serve and grow and we are on a journey and Today, I'm currently serving on the Elder Council here at North Way using my gift of administration Sharon uses her gifts of hospitality and encouragement and we facilitate a weekly small group and I continue participate in a men's small group I Thank God for this journey for where we have been and for where we are going He embraced us with his amazing love and grace and he restored Ron's health He restored our family. He restored our joy and he restored our passion for him and for life He has opened a business opportunity for us and we have started our own sales and marketing company Now I know that whatever happens we will be just fine To God be the glory great things. He continues to do My my own desires Had distracted me But through my surrender and God's grace. I have found new desires. I Had to be broken and get to the point where I would be obedient and trust in the Lord And allow him to direct the purposes of my life We wish to thank all of you who prayed with us and for us during the last two years Today if you are here and having difficulties keeping margin in your life and are not part of a small group Please get connected the prayers of Christian friends are essential. Don't get trapped and try to do it your own way I think you sense As Ron shared transparently and a lot of men will then identify it is not an easy thing to acknowledge your limitation and I appreciate very much That journey and one that continues With Ron and Sharon. Let me just close with this the the fourth Key to bringing balance and margin into your life Is to wait for God's timing on this journ