How God Meets Our Deepest Needs IX, Learning To Really Trust God

I just could not get it out of my head and out of my heart and that's my prayer for you today as well. We're gonna look at God's Word and we're gonna try to make some sense today of what it means to trust Him. Would you take your outline out of your notes, please? And if you're a guest today, I just want to remind you that we're very much aware there's some new things going on for you. Maybe you're not used to being in a church where people seem to be happy about going to church. Maybe you're used to getting out in an hour and you're saying, well, gee, how's he gonna do the whole sermon in ten minutes? He's not. So just get ready for that. But we're not gonna abuse your time as well. We're gonna just do what the Lord wants us to do today and ask His Spirit to teach us. If you are a guest, make sure you fill out your communicator and put that in the offering basket when He comes along at the end. Let that be your only offering today. We're just glad you're here and trust that God will minister to you. It takes a lot of discernment these days to know what's right, doesn't it? There's all kinds of things out there. You can surf your way on the web or you can take your old remote and watch all these different guys on TV and pick and choose your religion. The question really comes down to where does God want you to be? Are you a consumer or are you a contributor? Are you part of the answer or part of the problem? And today we're gonna look at how to learn to really trust God to use your life in a meaningful way. Look at the first scripture. You see, we're in a series called How God Meets Our Deepest Needs and we chose those words because all of us have deep needs. I'm talking about things beyond the surface, beyond just food and water and air and those kinds of things, shelter. We all have needs like needs for peace and joy and hope and guidance and assurance and and this scripture says something very bold. It says, my God will supply all that you need from his glorious resources in Christ Jesus. Circle the word all. All that you need. Now I read that and there's a problem. How many of you have one of those needs that hasn't quite been met just yet? Well, three college students. Anyone else? Ah, if we're honest, all of us would say, well, you know, I mean I read that, Pastor Jay, but I don't know that all of my needs have been met. I mean, I could pretend that they are, but all of them? So we have a couple of options. I mean, is God just sort of leading us on here? Are we kind of, is this sort of like, you know, a bit of hyperbole? Is God saying a little more than he really meant to say? We know he's not a liar, so that couldn't be it. So what's the deal? Why aren't all of our needs met? Today, I mean, in reality, what's the deal? Well, the deal is this. With every promise that God gives, there's a condition. There's a condition. There's a premise, if you will, for every promise. And in the context of Philippians 419, you see, the church that Paul's writing to, the Church of Philippi, he's saying, you know, so many of you had sent resources to us, a great sacrifice. He was saying, because you did what God asked you to do, I know God's going to meet all your needs. That's the context of that. And so they met the condition of that promise. We need to understand that in order to learn to really trust God, we have to fulfill the conditions of the promises. Jesus said it this way, according to your faith, will it be done to you. In other words, faith has to grow so that trust can be expressed and God can meet your need. In a sense, you get to choose how much God's going to move to meet your needs. You have influence over the promises of God at work in your life. The more you learn to trust, the more He releases. So, obviously, the next question is, how does our faith grow? How does our faith grow? How can we grow in trust of the Lord? How does our faith grow? Over 20 years ago, some of you will relate to this, there was a movement that was put in the United States called the Faith Movement, and they focused on growing faith. One of the first books I read was called Ever-Increasing Faith by a guy named Kenneth Hagan. And there was all kinds of teaching going on all over the radio and conferences, tapes going out everywhere and books going out about how to grow in faith. And if you learn how to positively confess things and so on, you could grow in faith and you could be a mountain mover. And how many of you are part of that or know what I'm talking about, have any relation? A couple of you, several of you? The Faith Movement, very powerful. And there's a lot of truth in the Faith Movement. There's still a few people today, but it's waned quite a bit. Why? Because, listen, because Jesus said, I'll not build my church on an emphasis. He always builds it on himself. Jesus is the cornerstone. So, these things come and they go. They're good things. There's truth. You got to weed out some of the stuff. It's exaggeration. In the case of the Faith Movement, there was some things that got a little, you know, a little crazy there about wealth and prosperity and all that stuff. But there was some truth, and the truth was that faith could grow in our lives. Now, I'm not going to ask you to put a, you know, a rating on your faith meter today, but you know if you're a person of faith or not. And by the end of this morning, I hope that you'll see how God wants your faith to grow. You see, faith is like a muscle. You've got to exercise your faith to make it grow. Faith doesn't grow by just reading books and getting more and more head knowledge. It doesn't grow by listening to tapes. It doesn't grow by evaluating the pastor, happy to say. A Bill Callahan, who was in the first service, slipped out from this service because he stayed throughout the first. He was a guy who, when he first started serving at North Way, and Bill, he's a very bright guy, and he has a high responsibility position in the bank. And I mean, he has everything in order. And so, when I stepped up and said, here's what I believe God wants North Way to do, it didn't line up with the numbers. And Bill was saying, well, there's just no way that can happen. And I said, Bill, you've got to trust the Lord. So, we stretched to trusting God for a million dollars a year. And then the next year was one and a half, and the next year was two and a half, and so on and so on. And every year, Bill would say, oh, he took a deep breath, and the blood would drain out of his face. He says, I don't know if I can do that. Well, you know, this year, when we saw what the Lord is saying we had to trust him for, I said, I don't know if the Lord can do that. And Bill said, Jay. And you see, Bill's faith has grown, and he would tell you this. Because he has seen God over the years. You see, Bill had exercised the muscle of his faith, and now he's seen God fulfill his promise. So, Bill has discovered the key to growing faith. You've got to learn to trust God. And you see, what God uses to teach us to trust him is one simple thing that we call trials. Look at the next verse. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. Don't you wish God had another way to build faith? Trust is learned by going through the trials of life. I want to share four of them. And, folks, listen. Listen, we're all going to go through trials. I'm looking out. I'm catching eyes here and there. I know some of the trials some of you are going through right now. Some of you are going through the worst trials imaginable, and I don't even know it. And maybe the person next to you doesn't even know it. But can I say this? You're all going to go through some of these trials. Some of you are going through one or two of them right now. If you're not going through any right now, praise God, but don't get too puffed up, because one's coming. And can I say this? Don't waste your trial. Paul Billheimer wrote a book. He wrote several books. Sort of an obscure author. I won't talk a lot about him right now. He wrote a book called Don't Waste Your Sorrows. And one of the problems that I've discovered in Christians is that we go through stuff, and it doesn't change us. And in the eyes of God, it's a waste. Our character isn't developed, and we don't get through to victory and receiving our answer. Listen, every trial you go through, now watch. Every trial you go through has one of two purposes. Either you're going to come through to victory and receive what it is you're believing for, okay, a faith victory, or if that doesn't happen, your character is going to grow, and you're going to become more God-like. Do you see that? So every trial has a purpose. I'm not sure which one it'll be. But either way, you win if you approach it in the right way. If you don't, you lose. You waste your trial. You waste your sorrows. What are those four trust-builders? Number one, the first one is called the pressure test. How will I handle stress? Will I turn to other things, or will I turn to God? Will I try to handle it myself, or will I let Jesus show me how to get through it? Look at the first scripture under this section. I want you to trust me, circle that, trust me in your times of trouble so I can rescue you and you can give me glory. The Lord wants you to be able to say that God helped me through these situations. Turn to Him and not to other things. Now see, I don't think we necessarily consciously decide not to trust God. I think many of us have mechanisms that kick in the minute stress builds up. You know what I'm talking about. As soon as stress starts to get intense, some of us say, well, the doctor prescribed something for me, so I'm going to go take it right now, and then you just check out for a few hours. But when you wake up, the problem's still there. Some of you say, you know what? I'm feeling stressed. I've got to call someone, and I need to complain, and so the telephone's your friend. You whack on that phone and just get on somebody's, and then hang up the phone, and somehow the stress is still there. You feel better about having vented, but the stress is still there. Some of you say, you know what? I can't deal with this. And you just get a big bowl of ice cream and a bag of chips, and that's how you deal with stress. Others of you say, you know what? I can't deal with this. I've got to go shopping. You know, when the going gets tough, the tough goes shopping. Spend what I can and just kind of release some of my stress. Guys, you know, we find all kinds of ways. You know, we veg out in front of the tube, or we, you know, work out and try to get the stress out that way, or we just get out sometimes, and none of those things inherently are wrong, but they don't solve the problem. They don't really deal with the stress. They push it down under. Listen, when you come under stress, this is a test. It's a test of your faith. And I want you to grab that right now. Listen, some of you are going to get up tomorrow. You're going to get to work, and at 9.30, something's going to hit you. You're going to say, man. And I want you just to be reminded, this is a test. This is a test. The Lord says, where am I going to turn right now? And all the Lord wants you to do is just turn to Him and say, Lord, help me right now. Holy Spirit, breathe on me right now. Let me see all the things you are. Give me some of that wisdom you talked about. I need it right now. Turn to the Lord. See, the problem with us is, if it doesn't get fixed right away, we feel, well, God didn't hear that one. I'll take care of it myself. Some of us, we carry around this fix-a-flat for our faith. How many know what fix-a-flat is? It's that stuff you shake up, and then you tie it onto the valve of your car, and then the tire goes, and you pull out. Well, you want that for your faith. When it doesn't work, you want to be able to tie something on, push it down, and just have it all done. It doesn't work that way. Sometimes, God just lets you go through it, and you have to suffer, because out the other side, He's going to show you what He was doing. Look at Jeremiah 2.13. See, my people have done two evils, He says. They have turned away from me, the spring of living water, and they have dug their own wells, which are broken wells that cannot hold water. So the Lord is saying this. He's saying, I've provided for you. Imagine yourself walking through the desert, the Sahara Desert. It's just this terrible, long marsh, and you've been at it for almost two days, and you are flagging. You're about to fall over. Your tongue is swollen. Your mouth is parched. You've got to have water. And you come up upon this oasis, and this huge sign, like you see out in Las Vegas with this big arrow pointing down, water here. But you look at it, and it says, God's water. And somehow, you just keep on going, and you find some guy that's selling shovels, and you buy a shovel and start digging your own well, because you're going to do it, because you're an American. The Lord says, my people, they have forsaken my well and dug their own. And then we have the audacity to ask God to bless our wells. Lord, would you please bless the well that I'm digging, despite the fact that your well is available to me? Right now, some of you are in a relationship that you've dug. You were lonely. You were sexually unfulfilled. And so you dug a well. And you're asking God to somehow bless it and work it all out. And He's not going to do it. Some of you financially have dug a well. You just went ahead and made some decisions, and bought some stuff, and extended yourself. And you're saying, oh, God, you know, I should have honored my commitments. I should have done this and that. But would you please just now bless the well I've dug, and He's not going to do it. God is not going to bless the wells that we dig when we walk right by the things that He promises to provide. Listen, friends. God's not, He's not against you. He's for you. But you've got to learn to trust Him. You've got to learn to do it His way. You say, well, I don't know if I, is there any hope for someone like me? Well, there is. Look at the next verse. If you're walking in darkness without a ray of light. Now, let me describe a few of you. You feel so hopeless. Chances are you're in the back part of the auditorium. I can tell you how many people say, the first few times I came, I sat in the back because I just didn't know if I fit in here. I felt so hopeless, so despairing. Listen, it says to you, trust in the Lord and rely on your God. See, the Lord knows your circumstance, and if you'll just come to His well, He'll meet you where you are. The times of pressure are tests of the Lord. To turn to Him. What's the second test? Well, I'm going to call it the people test. The people test. Or how will I handle disappointments? Now, this is the one that spoke to me the most as I was preparing this message. Because life is so often disappointing. Things just don't work the way we planned them, do they? Careers don't work out the way we planned them. Marriages don't work out the way we planned them. Plans don't work out the way we planned them. But most disappointing are people. And why do people often disappoint us? Listen, why do people often disappoint us? Because we put an expectation on people that they cannot fulfill. You say, well, what do you mean by that? Well, because many of us are looking for people to meet our deepest needs. We're looking for that spouse who's going to fulfill every deep need I have for intimacy and communication. We're looking for that boyfriend or girlfriend who's going to make me feel important and valued. We're looking for that boss who's going to give me enough attaboys that I just have some worth. We're looking for this or for that. And friends, you know what? People will always disappoint you. They will. Why? Because we're fallen. We all have a flaw in our character. We're not able to be what a person fully needs. People think, if only I could get married to the right person, then I'd be satisfied. If only my spouse would get their act together, then our marriage would work out. If only my children were a little different, I'd be a lot more content. If only my boss, you know, if he'd finally get off my case and see the light of the wisdom of my way. If only my parents hadn't done this or hadn't done that. The problem is not the people in your life, friends. It's your response to the people in your life. You hear that? It's not the people. If you get this, this is worth the entire price of admission. It's not the people. It's your response to them. The answer to your insecurity is not other people. The answer to your inferiority complex is not other people. To your worries and fears, to your depression and despair, to your failures, to your meaninglessness and boredom and deep dissatisfaction, it's not a person, it's the Lord Jesus. Jesus will satisfy. Look what it says, the last verse on this side. You should stop trusting in people to save you, because people are only human. You say, well, I'm not asking him to save me, you know, like from hell. That's not what that means. If you know the word salvation, if you've done any study of the New Testament language, the word to save means to establish wholeness, to give life. And that's what the Lord is saying here. It's not an exaggeration. Turn the outline over. Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made Him their hope and their confidence. And if you do this, the next verse says, you will not be disappointed. Isaiah 49, 23. You will not be disappointed. Listen, anytime you're disappointed, the light should be going on. Wait, what's going on here? Anytime you're disappointed, it's an indication that you're beginning to trust in people and not in God. And that's a point that the Lord wants to get your attention. Trust in Him. Trust in the Lord. Wonderful little story by Emily Kingsley I want to read a portion of to you. This is in reference to her having given birth to a child who was mentally and physically disabled. And here's what she says. And by the way, this applies broadly across the board. She says, I'm often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it and how to imagine it would feel. She says this, it's like this. When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and you make your wonderful plans. You're going to see the Colosseum and the Sistine Chapel and the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian and it's all very exciting. Well, after several months of preparation and eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go to Italy. Several hours later, the plane lands and the flight attendant comes in and says, Welcome to Holland. Holland, you say? What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy. But there's been a change in the flight plans and they've landed in Holland and there you must stay. Now, the important thing to remember is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place that's full of pestilence and famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books and you must learn a whole new language and you must meet a whole new group of people that you never would have met before. It's just a different place. It's slower paced in Italy and it's less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you begin to look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. And Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're bragging about what a wonderful time they've had there. And for the rest of your life you'll say, yes, that's where I was supposed to go. At least that's what I had planned. And the pain of that experience will never, ever go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy that very special, very lovely place called Holland. Now this applies to lots of other things than having a disabled child. Some of you stood at an altar on your wedding day and you thought you were going to Italy. Now you think the plane landed in Bangladesh. And there's massive disappointment in your life. This is a test. It's a people test. Will you handle it by complaining? By grieving? By chafing? The Lord's in control and He'll work things out if you turn to Him and trust Him. I want you to hear the story of a couple that faced a lot of disappointment, a lot of heartbreak, and they had to learn who was really going to save them in the midst of it. And so give a warm welcome, would you please, to Rich and Jill Boucher as they come and tell their story. Give them a big hand. Thanks so much for staying. Did you want to say something quickly? I wasn't allowed to talk because we only have 5 to 7 minutes and I was told that I'd never be able to keep it to 5 to 7 minutes and I'd probably cry through the whole thing. So my husband's going to share our story with you. I can't do it. The real truth is we fought over who was going to talk and I lost. And that's why he's wearing this so I can't keep grabbing a microphone from him. First we want to thank you for the opportunity to share our story with you. When we were first asked to do this, we were very humbled to get up here and talk about trusting in God not because we haven't seen firsthand what trust can do and what trust is all about and the power of trust but the fact that sometimes we still forget. This story spans about 3 years of our life. We'll probably spend hours talking about it but since we only have a few minutes, we're going to give you the short version. Joe and I were married on November 2, 1996 and immediately set out about starting our family but after 2 years, 3 tries at artificial insemination 2 tries at in vitro fertilization we still had no success. We were angry, frustrated, disappointed and confused as to why this was happening to us. Adoption had been an option that was put on to our hearts early on in this process and as we look back today we know that God made us go through or we had to go through all those other areas or all those other options before we could move into adoption. But we find ourselves in July 1998 have made the decision to go forward with adoption We hired an attorney, we hired an adoption agency and we were off. By the end of the first week of August we found ourselves sitting out at North Park waiting to meet a birth mother that we had talked to or had been talking to. After an hour, she never showed. By the middle of October, we find ourselves again in a hotel room in Minneapolis, Minnesota of all places, waiting to meet a birth mother that we had been talking to for the last month. We waited for three days, she never showed up. She gave us some dumb excuse as to why she couldn't be there and instead of trusting God in this particular case we chose to trust her. We were desperate, we really wanted to start our family and we thought she was the key. We continued to talk to her for another month until December 1st, which is about two weeks prior to her due date she disappeared and we never heard from her again. Yet again we had another disappointment. By this time you can imagine we weren't exactly adoption advocates but we pressed on. On January 20th, 1999 we got a call from Pat and Suzanne. Suzanne was 16, she was pregnant she was due on June 1st and Pat was her mother. They had been referred to us by an acquaintance that we had met only a couple weeks earlier. They were Christians and they were looking for a strong Christian couple. We had a wonderful conversation with them, we prayed with them. And then on February 4th and I still don't know how she didn't wreck her car Jill was driving in her car, we got a call from our attorney here in Pittsburgh and said that a birth mother had chosen us and that she was in fact due the next day. Well, we were a little bit shocked but we were so excited, overjoyed. In some ways I guess it was fortunate that she was 12 days late 12 days later on February 16th we got a call informing us that she was in labor. We made arrangements to drive the Scranton PA the next morning while en route we got a call again from our attorney and she had given birth to a baby boy. We named him Brandon. Two days later, about an hour before he was to be released from the hospital we got a call saying that she had changed her mind. We were devastated. How could we go home again empty handed? We screamed, we yelled, we cried and finally we prayed. We asked God to intervene. Two hours later we got a call from the birth mother's mother saying that they were only about a half hour away from our hotel and could they come over and speak with us or meet us. We didn't know what to expect but we said yes. About a half hour later they showed up with this little baby in their arms and spent about an hour with us. At the end of that hour they left and they left Brandon with us. We kind of remember looking at each other saying okay what do we do now? We have this little baby, what do we do? In a matter of five or six hours we went from the best day of our lives when we woke up in the morning to the worst day of our life back again to the best day of our lives. We arrived home the next day amid great fanfare with friends and family greeting us. We were so happy finally we had our family. That is until about three weeks later. We got a call from our attorney informing us that the birth mother changed her mind and she wanted Brandon back. We were in shock. No way this could be happening to us. It seemed like a bad dream. We went to bed. We hoped the next morning when we woke up it would change but it didn't. On March 12th right here at North Way we met the birth mother and were forced to give Brandon back to her. This is probably the lowest point of our lives. We went home to a house full of baby stuff, baby clothes, a nursery. We had been three, now we were two. We were angry with God and we took it out on each other. We had lost all faith and trust. Fortunately for us, as 2 Timothy 2.13 says, if we are faithless he will remain faithful for he cannot disown himself. The NIV Bible study guide says this, Jesus is faithful. He will stay by our side even when we have endured so much that we seem to have no faith left. We may be faithless at times but Jesus is faithful to his promise to be with us to the very end of the age. Refusing Christ's help will break our communication with God but he will never turn his back on us even though we may turn our backs on him. And that's where we were. We were faithless. We turned our back on him and if it wasn't for God's grace, the support of our families, the support of our cell group and all the friends here at North Way, I don't think we would have gotten through it. We were very devastated. We just didn't understand why this was all happening to us. Then just when we thought we couldn't go on, God once again sent Pat and Suzanne to us. If you recall, that's the mother and daughter I mentioned earlier. They called to tell us that Suzanne had chosen us to adopt their child. And when we had told them what just happened to us, what happened with Brandon, they immediately began to pray with us. They encouraged us to trust God and to trust them. We were terrified to move forward but found strength in their own conviction and trust in God regarding the situation that they were facing. They called us every week. They continuously reassured us and prayed with us. On April 24th, we flew to Phoenix to spend a weekend. We met Pat and Suzanne. We had dinner with them. We went to church with them. We met their friends and their families. We had a wonderful time, but we were still scared. While we were there, we also met with another couple, O.J. and Michelle, that we had talked to a couple of times. While we weren't really convinced their commitment was very strong, we figured while we were there, we might as well talk to them anyhow or meet with them. We also met their friends and their families. By now you can imagine, we didn't know who to believe or trust. Every time we thought things were going to work out, the rug was pulled out from underneath us. We were mad at God. We were afraid to trust Him. But the alternative was even worse. You see, without trust and faith in God, there is no hope. And without hope, we have nothing to carry us through these difficult times. Romans 15.13 says, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. So you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Well, I am happy to say God did provide, and He provided in abundance for us. On May 26, 1999, we found ourselves in Scottsdale participating in the birth of our daughter. It was the most amazing experience. There is no doubt about it in any of our minds that God was with us that day. Pat and Suzanne would later comment that as they handed Emily to us and placed her in our arms during what should have been the most difficult time for them, God spread a peace upon them and gave them the peace to know that the decision they made and trust in the decision they made. That in its own right would have been good enough for us. But again, God surprised us. On July 20, 1999, again in Scottsdale, Arizona, in believe it or not the same hospital, the same doctors, the same nurses, our son Adam Richard was born. Although this situation did not go quite as well as Emily's, we were not present for the birth and we arrived at the hospital the day after his birth. We felt no peace among the families. Three days later when they signed legal custody over to us, we still felt no peace about the situation. We weren't quite sure what God was telling us so we approached the birth mother and we told her that if she wanted to change her mind that we would be okay with that. You see, our desire had been fulfilled some already with Emily. Well, that kind of opened the floodgates. Their families drew lines in the sand as to those that wanted to keep them and those that didn't. After two days of going back and forth with these families, Joe and I made the decision after praying that we were going to trust God with Adam's faith. We went to the families and told them that we were going to leave Adam with them. We were going to go home. We told them that they had two weeks to decide what it is they wanted to do. At the end of that time, they still wanted and if Adam was meant to be with us, that's the way it would work out. I'm happy to say three weeks later Michelle arrived in Pittsburgh with Adam. We can tell you firsthand it's not always easy to trust God. We so often want to question Him but I don't ask why. We want to rely on our own resources and even though for us we see the proof every day in our two children, we too sometimes forget to trust Him. I just want to give you a quick update. On February 17th was Brandon's first birthday. We got a letter from the birth mom telling us how sorry she was for the pain she had caused and that Brandon was doing great. She turned out to be a great mom and was taking good care of him. We had a picture of Brandon. As for Emily and Adam, on March 21st of the year 2000 all legal requirements were met and they are officially and forever our children. I'd like you to wear that hat. So that was a test. It was a very difficult test that Rich and Joel endured. Let me just touch on quickly the last two. The next is the persistence test and that is will I keep my commitments? Will I grow my faith by learning to keep my commitments? Life is about making commitments, friends and it's that which shapes our character more than anything else. It determines our influence and our success and even our eternal destiny. Heaven and hell is in the balance of our commitments. The problem today is that most people that I encounter have too many commitments or too spread out instead of carefully choosing a few things to be really committed to. If you're going to develop anything of value any skill, any maturity for that matter you have to learn to make and keep commitments. Some of you heard the beautiful harp prelude before the