How God Meets Our Deepest Needs III, God Heals Hidden Wounds

Singing and playing that over and over again. Well, take your outlines this morning out of the notes, and let's look together at how God heals the hidden wounds of our hearts, and how He moves to restore us. And let me say, as you're doing that, there's all kinds of wounds. Just a little survey as you're preparing here. Just show of hands, how many of you have had a broken bone in your life? How many of you have had more than one broken bone at a time? That's painful, isn't it? I mean, that's a bad situation. How many of you have had stitches? How many of you have had more than 30 stitches at one time? Would you like to stand up and show us the remaining part of that? I mean, there's a lot of wounds out there. How many of you have had a knife wound of some kind? Kitchen, you know? Oh, yeah, that kind of knife wound. I didn't necessarily mean stabbing, but I mean, you know, a knife wound. While we're going there, how many gunshot wounds do we have? I mean, maybe you want to share that. I don't know. There's all kinds of ways that we get wounded. But the most difficult wounds that we have are what we call hidden wounds. Memories that still haunt us and cause us pain and often bring about strange reactions in our lives. Memories of abuse, whether it be physical or emotional or even sexual. Memories of abandonment or ridicule. Sometimes severe criticism or prejudice, fear, even hatred. These wounds come from all kinds of sources. In our society, I mean, you don't have to be doing anything at all and you can be wounded by somebody. Lots of wounds happen in the schoolyard experience of kids as they're growing up. Sometimes it happens in the workplace. But interestingly, many of the deepest wounds of our lives happen in our families. Sometimes our immediate nuclear family, sometimes it's the extended family. But I know this. After 25 years of pastoring, I know two things. Everybody has at least one hidden wound in their life. Everybody has one. And by the way, these take longer to heal than physical wounds. Isn't that true? I mean, people I know that went to Vietnam came back and took a year or two to heal of their physical wounds, but they're still healing from some of their emotional scars. So one thing is everybody has wounds. The second thing is Jesus Christ can heal the inner wounds of our soul. I believe that. I have seen that. I know it's true. The Bible says, Jesus speaking, The Spirit of the Lord has come upon me to heal. Jesus made it very clear that he yearned to see people whole. And story after story, he reveals his desire to heal people's hearts. Let me say this. I believe that's every bit as true today as it was 2,000 years ago. One of the things that some churches hang up on in terms of theology is Christ through healing. I don't believe he is. We don't always see the same miraculous, instantaneous manifestations. But friends, we see it all the time. I was knocked off my socks. First service, the woman came up afterwards and she said, I want to introduce myself. I've been coming here for a year and a half. Tell me your name. She said, I was an alcoholic for 30 years. I was dying. I was desperately ill. She named a person who prayed for her right in these steps. I'm going to give you an opportunity. She said, four days later, she hit the very bottom of her life and drank a gallon of vodka and 50 Valium and was going to die. They found her in time, took her to the hospital and rescued her. Something happened in answer to that prayer that night. She told me her story of how she's been totally free of drugs and alcohol for 18 months. I said, we've got to hear this story. You see, we give up on people, but God never does. And he's never through healing. And I believe he's going to be healing people today. Look at the top of your outline in your notes. Psalm 147, God heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. God is still in that business today. It's a process. And one of the things that happens is people want it to be instantaneous. It isn't always instantaneous, but it does happen. So follow with me these simple five steps of the process. Number one, the first thing you've got to do if you want to understand how to be healed is to reveal your hurts. We have a little butterfly coming out of the chrysalis up there, you can see. That's what God wants. He wants us to emerge, to morph, as it were, out of our old ways. And you've got to begin by revealing your hurts. Now, I know this seems obvious, but did you know that denying that you have hurts is one of the biggest obstacles to being healed? And many people just won't admit it. And they play around with it and they try to cover it up, but the fact of the matter is you will never get well until you face it. Psalm 39, 23, look what David said in the Bible. I kept very quiet, but I became even more upset. I became very angry inside, he says, and I thought about it, my anger burned. And you see, the more you try to not deal with it, the more you're faced with it, and it just begins to turn you up on the inside. As you keep stuffing it down, it just gets worse and plays out in different ways. One of the primary reasons many people are fatigued these days, and some of you have heard of the chronic fatigue syndrome, and this is the only reason, but one of them is that there are people who are dealing with emotional pain and scar, using up the energy, the limited amount of energy they have just dealing with those issues, and they're never feeling strong. Why? Because they're always processing and going through what they're feeling from this hurt and this pain. Look at the next verse. When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. Does that not describe people with some fatigue syndromes, you know? Weak deep inside. I moaned all day long. This is serious. Hidden wounds have serious physical implications many, many times. And this world in which we live, friends, is a very difficult world. I mean, it's heavy into abuse and violence. Even this past week, several of our local school districts had to close their doors for fear that our children would experience some kind of abuse and violence. And when people do experience it, they try all kinds of ways to deal with it. Some run from it. Some try to escape through drugs and pills and alcohol and sexual escapades from time to time. Some ignore it. Some blame others and point fingers. But if we don't face it, we don't get well. The bottom line. So, first thing is, the starting point is honesty. Next blank in your outline, the starting point is honesty. You've got to face it. Because if you don't, you're going to stay stuck. You've got to deal honestly with three people. You might want to write this in the blank underneath there. Three people, first of all, be honest with yourself. Say, listen, I've got this issue. I've got to come to terms with it. I can't fake it anymore. I can't get better. I've got to look at it and face it. Number two, you've got to get honest with God. One of the most amazing things about religion is it teaches people to look at God as if somehow when they're honest with Him, He's going to dump them. And the opposite is true. In fact, God already knows how you feel. He's just waiting for you to tell Him. He's just waiting for you to get honest and say, Lord, would you please help me with this situation? I feel frustrated. I feel trapped. I feel angry. Just get honest with God. You know what? He can handle that. The Lord has never said, I didn't know you felt that way about that. No, He doesn't ever think that. He knows how you feel. And the third person you need to get honest with there is at least one other individual that you trust. Listen, I have a conviction. Permanent healing will only come in the context of community. You might want to write that down. Permanent healing will only come in the context of community. It takes other people with whom you can be honest in order to get healed. So that's the beginning point. And I know it's a little bit difficult. I know it takes some humility to honestly just, you know, confess to yourself and God and others that you need help. You say, well, I don't have anyone, Pastor Jay. I don't have anyone that can really understand where I'm at. Listen, folks, look around you. There are hundreds of people here. There were hundreds more earlier today, and there'll be a couple hundred tonight. There are almost 3,000 people here. There are folks just like you who have the problems that you have. No matter how dark or deep or hidden they may be, there are other people with those same issues. If you want help, you can find help here. And if you don't, look at Job 18.4. You're only hurting yourself with your anger. You're the only one that really loses. Second thing you need to do is to release those who have hurt you. You've got to do it. And you know what, I just said that, and it sounds so easy, but how many of you have found it's very difficult to forgive somebody who hurt you, especially when they don't care if you forgive them or not, right? Especially when they've hurt you, and maybe they don't even know they've hurt you. Or maybe they're just antagonistic about it. As difficult as this may be for our nature to do, we've got to realize that even though violation is a painful thing, how many of you have had someone steal something from your house or your car? Anyone ever have that happen? You come home at night, and someone's been in your house, your personal belongings, or your car, or whatever. Well, you see, when you're hurt by another person internally, that's even more profoundly personal. And when that happens, you want to somehow either protect yourself or even get even, lash back, but that's the last thing you really want to do. Because God is the one who will bring about justice. Look at the next verse. Never pay back evil for evil. Never avenge yourself. Leave that to God. You might want to circle that. Leave that to God. You see, you have a choice in this matter, friends. You can do one of two things. You can get even, or you can get well. You can get even or you can get well. You can get even on your own terms and spend your energy that way, which, by the way, never really satisfies anyhow, or you can get well. You say, but Pastor Jay, they didn't ask for forgiveness, and they don't deserve it. And you know what? You're probably right. They don't deserve it. But that's not why I'm asking you to give it. I'm asking you to give it so that you can get well. You need to open up. You need the release that says, okay, I forgive you. Resentment, anger, and bitterness will hold you permanently. They can control your life, even though they happened three, five, ten, twenty years ago. Today, you can be held by that same thing. It just keeps coming back and coming back. Now, I know this is a heavy subject, but it's interesting to me that God even lets us see these things sometimes in sort of a metaphorical way in other parts of his kingdom. I have a little prop I want to bring out here for you. You all recognize this? It's a vacuum sweeper. And one of God's other creatures, a little bulldog named Petunia, was misbehaving when he was a puppy, or she was a puppy, and she was chased around the house by a vacuum sweeper. Well, that wounded her little spirit. And I want you to watch up here in the video screen. What happened when Petunia didn't forgive the vacuum sweeper? Watch what happens. What's her name? Petunia. Petunia. Hello. Hello. No. Do that. Do that. Do that. Don't lift the can. Petunia. Petunia, where's the monster? Here. Where's the monster? Where's the monster? You ready? Where's the monster? You can't get my name. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Now what are you going to do to me, Petunia? Okay, let's put some of this back. This is what you've wanted all your life, isn't it? Now wait. Petunia. Petunia. Petunia. She's never been allowed to touch him. This is hysterical. Oh, my gosh. Hey. Poor Petunia. Well. Well. You see? Just one hidden wound. And now every time he walks by that thing, he barks at that closet. Every opportunity she gets, she attacks. And you know, as funny as that is, it's really not unlike some of us. We have these closets in our heart. Every time we go by them in our memory, something comes up inside of us. We get angry. We want to attack. We have to begin by allowing God to be God in our lives and allow him to deal with those things that happen to us at some point in the journey of our lives that we had no control over. You know, the Lord knows those things. Look at the next verse. It says, You have collected, speaking of God, all my tears and preserved them in your bottle. You've recorded every one in your book. You see, God knows. Every time somebody said something that was destructive to you, he knows the abuse you faced, the injustice, the rejection, the put-downs, the prejudice, the hurt. God knows. And he has a record of that, and he's the one that's going to mete out justice to those who have offended you. Subconsciously, we think, you know, I have to remember this because if I forget it, then they're going to get away with it. And it's going to happen again. And, friends, listen, God never forgets. And he can be trusted to bring about justice to those who deserve it. So the question is, when you don't release them, who are you really hurting, yourself or someone else? Well, the answer is you. No one was hurt more than Jesus. He was betrayed, unjustly beaten, and falsely accused. But look at the next verse there. It says this, When Jesus suffered, he did not threaten to get even. Isn't that powerful? He left his case in the hands of God. The Bible says that Jesus suffered six wounds. Follow me on this. Six wounds. The crown of thorns on his head, beaten about the face, the stripes of the whip on his back, the nails in his hands and feet, and then the spear in his side. But you know, the most profound wound that Jesus experienced was the woundedness of his heart, that of rejection, of injustice, of betrayal. And friends, he could have called for a million legions of angels to come and bring about justice, but he said no. He said what? Father, forgive them. In the midst of the most profound moment of woundedness, Jesus said forgiveness. And I say, Lord, give me that kind of grace in my life. When I get wounded, not to call for justice and vengeance, but to call for forgiveness. You say, but I can't do that, Pastor Jay, and why should I? Let me give you three reasons. You might want to jot these down at the bottom there. Three reasons. Number one, God's forgiven you. And number two, you're going to need more forgiveness in the future. And if you don't forgive, you block forgiveness coming toward you. And number three, it's the only way that you're going to get well. Look at Hebrews 12, 15. A bitter spirit is not only bad in itself, but can also poison the lives of many others. Do you know that negativity and criticism and hurt are generational? Did you know that? How many of you, without putting your hands up, please don't put your hands up, but you know that your whole temperament's been affected by the negativity of your parents. That your whole outlook on life has been profoundly affected by the critical, judgmental, or sometimes abusive nature of your parents. And you know what? You picked it up, and it's coming through you, and it's on its way to your children if you don't deal with it. And I want to stand on this platform and say today, let's have the courage, some of us, to draw the line and say, I'm going to get healed. I'm not going to take this on to my children. I'm not going to make them suffer the way I did. Someone has to break the cycle. So you reveal your hurt, then you release those who hurt you. Number three, replace the old thoughts in your mind with God's truth. Our brain is a wonderful, wonderful organ. God's created it like nothing else. And no one's really been able to figure out how it fully works. All we know is that scientists tell us that our brain literally records every experience of our lives. So everything about us is recorded there. Now the difficult thing is our brain doesn't always distinguish between what's a lie and what's truth. How many of you heard lies in the schoolyard? You're dumb. You're ugly. You're fat. You're uncoordinated. You're never going to be much of anything. And we believe that stuff. When we're desperately looking for someone to affirm us, we hear the lies. And that's what we start holding on to. And well, I guess that's really true about me. And that faulty data just keeps going through us. And we just need to create in the screen of our mind one of those trash bins like on our computer where you put things in and you push a button and it crinkles up and goes away. We need to clear out that stuff. Because if you continue to believe the lies and faulty data, you're setting yourself up for self-defeating lifestyle choices and ultimately failure. If the recorder in your mind keeps telling you, you're no good. You're worthless. You're just like this person or that person was. You're not going to make it. 20, 30, 40 years later, you're still hearing that even though you've tried everything possible to make it on your own. Now friends, this may not apply to some of you, but can I say it applies to a lot of you and it certainly applies to someone that you know. Someone you know needs to hear this message. You might even want to get them a tape after the service today and take it to them. Just go through those doors and get a tape and take it to them. Say, you know what? There's some hope for you. God has come to change our thoughts. Turn your outline over. Look at this. Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Do you know that the way to your heart being changed is through your mind? Your head gets involved. Christianity is a mindful religion, not a mindless one. It's a faith that uses our mind. And the Bible says that we have to change how we think. How do we do that? Number one, while we pray and say, God, heal my memories. Let your healing power, the healing that's in this house, let it touch me. Number two, read and meditate on the Word of God. Fill your mind with what God has said, with his truth. You know, this is why Pastor Scott and others encourage you to get into small groups. It's in small groups where you can take the Word of God and make it really your own. In my little beta group, there's five couples and we're studying the Book of Romans. And you know, we spent three entire sessions of an hour study each on one chapter in the Book of Romans, chapter 8. There was so much good stuff in there to share together. And I want to encourage you, if you're not in a group, if you're not getting the Bible in some other way other than just Sunday morning, you're not getting enough of it. It needs to replace the old tapes that have been playing in the back of your head. It's weird the way people will let things just go on in their mind and not listen to what God says. Scripture says, thy word is truth. What do you want in your mind? Do you want the lies or do you want truth? How many want lies? Oh, you almost put your hand up, sir. Put your hand back down. No. You want truth. How many want truth? There you go. Of course. But the problem is, honestly, many of us believe the lies and we hold on to them instead of saying, what does God say about me? Look at the next verse. This is what God says about you. Through what Christ would do for us, God decided to make us holy in His eyes without a single fault. You might want to just put a big star over that. We stand before Him covered with His love. You've heard me say this before. When God the Father looks at you in Christ, He doesn't see you as this person that keeps falling on your face or this person that has this weakness. He sees you as whole and complete in Christ. How many believe that's one of the greatest miracles that could ever be? And see, in heaven, we're not going to see each other with our problems, with our temper, with our negativity, with our criticism, with our fault. We're going to see each other wholly covered with the love of Christ. What a wonderful revelation that's going to be. That's how God sees us. Psychologists tell us that the way you see yourself is largely determined by what you think the most important person in your life thinks about you. Did you hear that? The way you see yourself is largely determined by what you think the most important person in your life thinks about you. And I want to submit to you that the most important person isn't your spouse or your mom or your dad or some other relative or your boss or anyone else. The most important person is Jesus Christ. If you make Him the most important person in your life, He says about you that you're lovable, that He accepts you, that He's redeemed you, that you're precious in His sight, that He can use you, that you're capable. And I want you to know, when you start hearing that and believing that, then your esteem, what you think of yourself in Christ skyrockets. You suddenly realize, I'm a person of worth. Because the most important person in my life said so. And that's Jesus. The fourth thing you need to do is to refocus on the future. One of the great dangers of the therapies that are out there today in the world is how much they fixate on the past. You know, repression therapies and healing of memories in some contexts go way too far and stay back there. And it's important to go back and touch those things. But listen, if you're part of a counseling system where that's all they do, I just want you to know you need to be very discerning. There's a lot of people I've talked to that have been to some folks and really, in the end, they're worse off because they haven't really dealt with it. They just go back to it and just keep rehearsing it over and over again. I want to encourage you to find a Christian therapist or counselor or psychiatrist that can help you to use God's Word along with the best that their training has to offer. Because if you just focus on the past, you'll get stuck in the past. But if you focus on the God of grace, you can find strength and healing to help you to get on with life. Find a counselor who's biblically based, has an understanding of conversion, recovery, and the context of community, and focuses on the future, and you will find keys to getting well. Dear ones, look at that next verse. It says, There's just a couple things there. You've got to put your heart right. That's the first thing you've got to do. You've got to get your heart right before God. We've talked about that already. Release and forgive. Number two, you have to reach out to God and ask Him, Lord, do this work in me. And then face the world again. I love that verse. And all your troubles will fade from your memory. Write this down under the blank there, would you? My past is not my future. Write that down. My past is not my future. Whatever your past was, however difficult it may have been, you're not locked into that, friend. God has a future for you and a hope. And the question you need to ask is, how do I get a hold of that? Where can I find the help? What can I do to change? I want you to hear the testimony this morning of somebody who thought, even as a Christian, that their life should have been in order, but it wasn't going the way it should go. And they faced it and found help. Give a warm welcome as they come up now, please. Let's welcome Frank and Debbie Harris as Debbie comes to give her testimony. I'll just move this back, Debbie, just to keep that out. Thank you for staying. Good morning. This is my story about damage done to the soul, my soul, by sexual abuse. This is also a story about hope and healing. I recently had a powerful breakthrough in this area with help from the loving and gentle prayer counselors here at North Way. Those wonderful women led me through the scriptures and many healing prayers that pointed to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. By the power of the Holy Spirit, I have been set free from the bondage of sin and shame that have plagued me for many years because of the abuse. The journey towards healing has been a long and painful one, but necessary. Now let me give you a glimpse into my past. For most of my life, I have suffered from a poor self-image and a feeling of inferiority. I never quite understood where those feelings originated or why they persisted, even though life seemed to be going okay. Later, though, I would slowly begin to connect the dots and trace back to the source of the pain. The victimization occurred periodically between the ages of 4 and 12 by different members of my extended family. During that painful time, my parents divorced, we moved out of the home, and my mother remarried and had another son. I often felt vulnerable and unprotected. I never told anyone of any of these incidents. As I grew up, the memories began to fade. However, it was evident that something was wrong inside. Coping with these unresolved issues led to many broken relationships, loneliness, depression, overeating, promiscuity, coldness of heart, and frightening fear. By now, I had accepted Christ. However, nothing could quite manage to cover up the pain. Not the smiles, the busy schedules, or even successful Christian living could erase the past. Nothing soothed the battle raging deep within my soul. Now, let's fast forward to 1997. Frank and I had been married for three wonderful years. We were still in that pooh bear and kissy cat stage, that sickening stage, you know. We were now living in a beautiful little town called Beaver. We had good jobs, a beautiful home, and a loving new church family. We were about to open a business. Life was great. What could go wrong? Then I noticed that periodically those feelings of inferiority would resurface. Why, I asked. I thought that since I was now happily married to pooh bear here, and we both were growing in Christ, the feelings of shame and unworthiness would disappear. However, the depressing thoughts persisted. That's when I began asking the Lord to expose the root of the problem, for I longed to be healed completely. And God did just that. In the middle of cell group one night, God began to flash before me excerpts from my childhood. I suddenly remembered the abuse that had been long suppressed. I jumped up and ran into the bathroom and began to sob, to wail, for what seemed like hours. After that, I think I cried for six solid months. Over the next year, in the midst of starting the restaurant, God took me on a journey back into my childhood. He showed me how those years of violation had distorted my little innocent mind. My foundation had been cracked. He revealed those feelings of abandonment and anger toward my parents for not protecting me, even though they knew nothing of it. The Lord showed me how and why I had been looking for love in all of the wrong places. God helped me understand that I suppressed the events to protect myself. I heard Him say now that it was time to deal with those hidden issues. The Lord wanted to free me, to heal me from those wounds of the past. God wanted me to know that He has a plan and a purpose for my life, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. And God wants to do the same for all of us, no matter what kind of hidden wounds, for nothing is impossible with God. In my time with the prayer counselors, the Holy Spirit took me back to the first incident of abuse at four years old. But this time, instead of seeing myself screaming silently, wondering why no one hears me, and feeling bewildered and ashamed, I saw Jesus come into the room, walking towards me with His hands stretched out, saying, You are fearfully and wonderfully made, my daughter. I am your daddy, and I am here to care for you. I have never left you, nor will I leave you or forsake you. That was powerful to me. I can't get it out of my mind. I am reminded of those words daily. In that very moment, the Lord exchanged Satan's lie that I was shameful and unworthy of love from God. He exchanged it for God's truth that He loved me so much that He sent His only son, Jesus, to die for me. I now understand in my spirit that Jesus paid for my debts on the cross. I heard the words of Paul saying, There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The truth has set me free. As Pastor John explains, we hinder God when we don't believe the truth of His word. The pain doesn't come from the experience. Rather, it comes from the lie we believe because of the experience. That is what this prayer ministry is all about, exposing Satan's lies so we can replace it with God's truth that ultimately sets us free. Our God is trustworthy. You may ask, Why does He allow these kinds of things to happen? As Pastor John again explains, God will not mess around with free will. We suffer all kinds of abuses because of the nature of sin. I now truly know deep in my soul that God loves me. That is a liberating feeling. If you are hurting and are ready to be healed, ready is the key word, no matter the cost, call Pastor John's office to schedule an appointment with the prayer counselors. You won't be sorry. I am pleased to say that God in His infinite wisdom and grace has now called me into the ministry to help others who struggle with hurtful issues. I will be honored to pray with you too. Thank you. I so appreciate the transparency that lets us see into the lives of people just like us and what they've gone through to find healing. This is a safe place. It's a place where you can find hope. Friends, real people with real sins and real problems come here and the Lord touches them. You know what? There's no place else to go. If you don't go to the Lord, then you go to some other kind of temporary escape which only ends up disappointing you later on. How do I know when I am healed? Finally, number five, you reach out to help others. You see, the cycle kind of completes itself. You reach out to help others. As Debbie said, now she's engaged. She and Frank in a ministry of counseling others and praying for others according to God's call in their lives. That's sort of the final step. You see, the Lord redeems the pains you've been through and uses them in some way to help others find healing. Look at the next verse. It says, God comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble, we can comfort them with the same comfort that God gives us. Isn't that a great verse? That means that what you suffer is not in vain, but rather it has purpose and God can use it. You say, well, no one has my problem. Well, you know what? That's just a lie that you're believing because you're choosing to hide there. There are people here in this church with every problem imaginable. And even if you don't find someone with a specific problem, there are people who have the kind of listening heart that can help you to get a hold of God's grace. So take another step of recovery and healing and partner with someone else. Maybe God would even use you to start a group to support someone else in their ministry and in their need. But it all begins by your willingness to say, Lord, do the work in me. And let's close with this final verse. You see, you've got to be willing to say when you come to that point, Lord, I need you. Look what it says. When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He's not the same person anymore. A new life has begun. And you see, that's the starting point, friends. You've got to come. And we're going to have communion here in just a moment. Many of you have given your life to Christ and you just need to take the next step of healing that Debbie talked about and this message is about. But some of you have not yet come to Christ. Some of you not yet have said to the Lord, you know, I need you in my life. And that's the place you've got to begin. So I want you to stand with me right now and we're going to pray together. Would you please stand and let's bow our heads for just a moment of prayer together. You know, if you've been here today with an open heart, I know that you sense God's presence here today. Maybe you're saying to yourself, I need something in my life and I don't know what to do. Well, I'm going to lead you in a simple prayer. With heads bowed, please, and nobody's looking around and nobody's moving. We're just together here qui