Great to Be Home VI, Finding Grace Every Place

And it feels like about three years, but 36 hours straight, more or less, with the Real Families Conference. And for the first time in my experience, we did a live satellite broadcast. We had trucks in here, and they were pumping this thing all over America. And what a blessing to know that the ministry that God's given to us has just started to find its way in places where people don't have access to the great resources that we've been given here. So it's such a joy today for us to welcome. And I want you to give a great welcome this morning to my dear friend, Dr. Kaye, as he comes on up here. Thank you. All right. Nice to be here, by the way. You turned it on? Am I on? No. I don't know. Say something profound. You got five kids. There you go. That's profound. Five kids, yeah. I just remember their names. Hey, well, you know, it's just a Saturday night crowd. They were a little different. In what way? I wonder what they're doing right now. Yeah, yeah, that's like, they're like sleeping. Saturdays are different. I wore shoes today. I wore sneakers last night. Last night was the El Cajo night. It was OK. I feel better this morning. Yeah, I feel better, too. I'm ready to go. Well, in case you're wondering, we don't have the pulpit up, so no one panic. We are going to share God's word. We're going to talk a little bit about some things, because I've discovered something about Kevin. And that is that some of the best things that God gets him to share, he doesn't think about. That's true. And I wish I could say the same. It doesn't work for me that way. Well, he likes to write things down. Bring your notes out, so we'll have some. He's the firstborn, you know. We need to have order. I know what's going on with why you sound funny. See, he can't dress himself either. All right, talk to your neighbor for like one second. There we go. Now, how's that? Now what? Now they can hear you. Hello. What's the problem? Well, you had a tent turned down. I mean, so the thing is squealing. You don't worry about those kind of details, though, do you? No. No. You lost your notes, didn't you? You got me all flustered. I'm here. End of service. You know what? I got to tell you about your music and your church. I love coming here. I sat down here this morning, and some people came by and said some of the nicest things that anybody ever said to me in my entire life. And I always feel just at home here. I love your music. I sit there listening to music, and John's singing, tears are streaming down my face. Oh, I could just worship with music right now. I mean, I can go home. I don't have to hear Dr. J. I'm done. Stick a fork in me. I've been fed this morning just through music. It's great music. And John's testimony, and just the way this church is. It's just such a loving group of people. Look around. I mean, we've got a very shape-sized color. It's great. That's what church ought to be like. It's great to be here. So we love real families. We know that a lot of you don't watch real families. You'd rather watch Seinfeld reruns. We understand that, but as Dr. J. said, the Lord is opening doors for us in real families. And we're on the Dish Network now, Tucson, Arizona, where I live. I put on the Dish Network. I'm watching Dr. J. and myself. I'm trying to get my kids to watch it, and my wife. No, but it's a great gift that God has given to us to be a team and to teach people about life. So again, I'm real pleased to be here. Thanks for having me, J. We were talking just about how much things have changed in the last six months in terms of families' openness. And today, we originally billed this as how reality discipline works. We talked so much about reality discipline Friday night and Saturday. If you want the tape, there's a lot of tapes out there. And we can touch on that this morning. But I wanted to kind of zoom out a little bit about the whole subject of grace and perfectionism, because I know Kevin and I have talked about this many, many times. If there's one killer in the Christian community that's seeped out into the world and has kind of tainted the world, it's our bent toward being judgmental and being perfectionistic. The Pharisees are alive and well on the planet Earth. They just don't have robes on them. No, I read my mail. You should see the stuff they send you. And if you do the Today Show or The View or some of the shows that I do or CNN, and my goodness, there are millions of people watching them. And people know you're a believer. And they don't think you should be associating with some of the people on television. And I can never figure why. They write me these 10, 12-page letters with scripture all the way through. I mean, citations abound. And then they always sign the 10-page letter in Christian law. I'd like to punch them out in Christian law. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. So the Christians are not exactly the most tolerant people in the world. A lot of Christians live by the rules. And the way I figure it, the rules, if you're a rulemaker out there, that's how you live your life, you're not going to enter the kingdom of God through your rules. It's the relationship that you have with Jesus that's going to make the difference for you and me. And so whenever we get a chance to preach, I like to talk about the relationship as opposed to the rules. Right. In fact, if you have a Bible, turn to Luke chapter 5. Or we'll put it up here on the screen for you. Because this is a passage that I think captures sort of the essence of Jesus' heart that we want to talk about today. This is when Jesus started hanging out with the people that the Pharisees just didn't think had any reason or any business being with him. Luke 5, 27. It's up on the screen, I think. Here we go. Later, as Jesus left the town, he saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at his tax collection booth. Come, be my disciple, Jesus said to him. So Levi got up, left everything, and followed him. Soon Levi held a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi's fellow tax collectors and other guests were there. So he brought his friends. He brought his friends to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus' disciples, why do you eat and drink with such scum? It says in the New Living Translation, Jesus answered them, healthy people don't need a doctor. Sick people do. I have come to call sinners to turn from their sins, not to spend my time with those who think they are already good enough. And that cuts right to it, doesn't it? I mean, that's the attitude. I already think I'm good enough. Well, scum is an interesting word. Scum, it says scum. It says scum, yeah. Well, I just think it's so profound, because it was Jesus himself who said, hey, it's the sick guy that needs the physician. That's our mission in life. Our mission in life isn't to walk around and say, look at me. I love Jesus. That's not, I mean, Jesus washed them feet, to prove a point. I mean, we service people. One of the things I love about North Way is, I love your little seasons brochure, magazine. It's so well done. And you look around, and you see everything that North Way does. It meets all different kinds of people at all different stages of life. It seems to me that that's what Jesus was so good at. And the Pharisees were always trying to badger Jesus. They were always trying to nail him. And notice that Jesus never got outsmarted by the Pharisees. But I'm just telling you, it's real easy, especially you firstborn and only born children who are here this morning. You're the ones most likely to be the Pharisee-like personality, because you know exactly how life ought to be. You're Judge Judy at home, Judge Wapner. You know how everybody else ought to run their life. And you can spot a flaw in Dr. J. It's not hard to do, actually. Or me, or Dave. I mean, it's not easy, not hard to find faults in us, for sure. But those faults bother you. They drive you. And some of you can never jump high enough. You should on your children daily. You should do this. You should do that. You know what that conveys to a kid? That somehow that kid didn't measure up. You know, as I read God's scripture, he says, come, all of you who are weary, you come to me, and I will give you rest. And we need to get good at leaving our imperfect nature at the cross of Jesus. And realize that most of us in this room are probably great, Jay, at lying to ourselves. There's people who watch you, or one of the other pastors in this church, and they tell themself the lie, oh, someday, someday I'm going to have the faith of Pastor Jay, and someday I'll be able to drive like him. Aw, let's hope that doesn't come true. Let's hope that doesn't come true. That was a sliver of the time. But you know what I'm saying? Is you tell yourself that someday I'm going to get to this place in life, and then I'm going to be able to serve Jesus. You know, there's a guy up in Michigan who comes to mind, this goes back to, this is a God thing through my head, because I didn't think of this until right this second. But this guy talked about his Bible-thumper neighbor. That's what he called him. He said, Kevin, it got to the point where we just saw this guy come into the house, we went in the house. He was just totally obnoxious. Every time there was a quartet or a potluck at that church of his, he was inviting us to it. And he was just becoming a real pain, to put it bluntly. He said, well, one day, one summer day, he said, I was fixing my lawnmower out in the backyard. He says, Kevin, I'm kicking that thing. I'm using languages a sailor wouldn't use. And I was so involved and so engrossed and so upset with my lawnmower that I didn't see this guy come out. He says, and this is the thing that caught my eye. I said, but this time, he left his Bible at home. I thought that was an interesting choice of words. He left his Bible at home. He said, and he began to help me fix my lawnmower. He said, Kevin, with God as my judge, if I had to trace my spiritual pilgrimage, I would tell you it started on that sunny Sunday afternoon, kicking my lawnmower and using terrible language. The day the Bible thumper came over and helped me fix my lawnmower. Because it was that Bible thumper in time, because of the relationship he created with this guy that led this guy to Christ. Now this guy is in charge of marriage ministries and a Bible teaching alive church in Michigan. So that's our call, to go out in this world and have people say, hey, you know, you're a little different than most. You know, and Dr. J, God has given us opportunities. We got free chocolate chips last night over at, what's the name of the place? Panera. Yeah. Never happened to me. I go in there, they gave him food, you know, cookies. You know, we send like $5,000 worth of business over there every day. He walks in, hey, what would you like in your sandwich? Can we cook you something up? Can we give you some chips? How about some cookies? I'm sitting there. Turns out that the gals behind the counter like read his books and they heard him on the radio. But you know what's fun, you know, the other day I was out, the scripture about God takes care of the birds of the field. And God does take care of the birds of the field. But you know, every time I go to Walmart and I buy the 20 pound bag of seed, I'm reminded of something. That I help God take care of the birds of the field. Is that, is that? You might, you might want to write that down. Is that biblical? What I'm saying is if you look at Jesus, Jesus always used ordinary people. The disciples were not, they didn't, weren't dressed in hard shaft or mark suits people. They were a pretty earthy group for the most part. And he used simple people. Fishermen, you know? The fishermen are out fishing all night. You fishermen, you ever fish all night long? Why do you fish at night? I don't know, I love to fish, but I fish daytime. But these guys are fishing all night. This guy comes up on the shore and he says, hey, throw your nets on that side. Now if you're a fisherman, you've been skunked all night long. Some stranger shows up on the, I said, hey, you want to catch fish? Do this. What would you tell him? I know what you'd tell him. Your carnal nature would come to the surface. You'd tell him something bad. But you know what? The nets were so full, they couldn't get him in the boat. Wow. Wow. You said something last night that I just, I wanted to make sure you reiterated. You know, folks, it's so important that you're hearing that what happens up here is such a small, small part of what God wants to do. I was, on Thursday morning, Wednesday, Thursday, I don't remember anymore. I guess it was Thursday morning, I was doing a little workout in the morning, and I'm watching the news, I'm working out, and up comes Kevin on CNN with Paula Zahn, and he's talking about this thing with Paul McCartney's wife and the kids that don't like her and all that stuff. And I'm thinking, what a great venue. What a great thing that the secular media out there recognizes this man has something to say as a Christian. They know he's a Christian, but he doesn't come in with guns blazing about, you know, and boom, it doesn't come out that way. But then you said something last night that I'd like to talk about for just a second. You said, all of us have gifts, and that just happens to be a gift that God's given you. We do have gifts. I have two basic spiritual gifts. Yelling is number one. Yelling? Yelling, yeah, the kids. And number two is a teacher. We all have gifts, and we're all different. And the lie you tell yourself is that someday I'm gonna be like this person, and again, you'll never get to that stage. God can use you where you are. You say, Lima, but you don't understand what I battle. Well, no, I don't understand what you battle. There's a great little scripture, I thought of it this morning when I was driving down here, in Song of Solomon. Where is Song of Solomon? It's in the notes. In chapter two. Go ahead, Kevin. I said, Kevin, you prepare the outline. Did you get it? Pull it out of your nose. Yeah, that's the outline. Did you get it? I'm guilty. I think it's Solomon 2.2 or something like that. 2.15. 2.15? Close, two. I got the two right. You got the right, yeah. But, you know, it talks about the little foxes that are ruining the vineyard. You know, I'd ask each of you the same question. This morning, to consider what are the little foxes that are ruining your vineyard? What are the little things that are keeping you from forking it over to Jesus? And if you're like me, I'll tell you what I've done in my life lots of times. I made deals. You ever make deals with God? Oh, Lord, I'm yours. All 96% Lord. Take me, use me, I'm yours. You know, I'm the clay, you're the powder, use me. And what gets us in difficulty is what? That little 4%, that little 6% that we wanna hang on to. What I've learned in my Christian walk, I've gotta say, Lord, I'm yours. Open the doors that need to be opened. Close the doors that need to be closed. And he will come in your life, and he'll richly bless your life. He'll take you to where you are, to a higher one. But you gotta hang in there. Michelle Kwan, this goes to thinking again, sorry. Michelle Kwan, the wonderful ice skater. How many of you, I'd like to see a show of hands. How many people saw her skate when she fell? How many people saw her skate when she fell this last time in the Olympics? You know, they had a mic, and she was with her daddy, holding hands. You remember what she said to her daddy? I didn't give it up. I didn't give it up. Wow, what a testimony. You know, if you could live your life like that, you're not gonna give it up. Because you're gonna strike out in life. But the measure of success is what? Do you go back in the batter's box of life and take your cuts? That's what makes a difference. There's so many people who are written off in life, early in life. Maybe you were one of them. I got a new book called Adolescence. It isn't terminal, it just feels like it. And in the book, I found these letters that were lost for over 20 years. And my assistant Debbie found them, and I was talking to her long distance on the phone. And she said, Kevin, I found these letters. We had moved offices. And intuitively, I said to her, not the North Park College letters. She said, yes. And I quoted verbatim one of the paragraphs, written in 1961, that says, most regrettably, Kevin's record does not support admission. Rather, therefore, than grant him a probationary admission, which our studies show, would lead to his failure. We must decline his application. Well, I'll tell you how stupid I was when I was 17. When I got that letter, I ran to my older brother, Jack. I said, Jack, I'm in. He read the letter. He said, you're not in, stupid, they don't want you. So, you know, Albert Einstein, they wrote Albert Einstein on, do you realize that? I mean, can you see Albert Einstein in the first grade? Albert, Albert, what are you doing? You are supposed to be practicing your A's. What is that big E doing there? And that M and that little two. Now you cut that out, I'm gonna call your mother. So who's kidding who? Do we need each other in the church? Are we a broken group of people? Are we flawed? Yes, but through God's grace and through the cross and the blood that Jesus shed on that cross for you and I, we're gonna celebrate Easter soon. Dr. J and I agree, our favorite, I'm always home for Easter. I don't care where I am in the world, I wanna be home in my home church on Easter Sunday. And we do the reenactment in our church, and you hear the pounding of nails. And I sit there, I just weep, because I knew what Jesus could have done as a man on that cross. And they said to him, hey, if you're who you say you are, why don't you come out now? Get down off that cross, big guy. You know what Jesus could have done to those guys? He could have made them into English muffins. But he had to follow God's will, didn't he? He did that for you and I. What a great time of year. I hope you'll put those posters up next time. Hold them higher, put your feet up that high. Have them stand out front. Yeah, we're gonna have you stand out with those guys flagging in the cars at once. But what a great, what a great way to invite people to hear the good news. Because there's people on TV, on Christian TV, I can take a shot at them too, do you mind? Go ahead, my eye, that way it works. This guy's on Christian TV. I mean, I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed to watch him. Geez, if I'm a heathen and that's a Christian, I don't want any part of that. That guy's a kook, a weird. Dr. J and I, I think we stick out like sore thumb. We seem sort of normal. I'm in trouble now, aren't I? No, not at all. Go ahead, tell me. You're the Monsignor here, I'm in trouble, aren't I? I went over the line, I'm okay? Just don't name any names. Okay, there's a couple of them just came to mind. One of them has a hairdo about like that. There's a whole family of people living that one hairdo, I know that. Now I'm not being reverent again, aren't I? Oh boy. I'm always in trouble. But see, a lot of people, I know, you look at Kevin, you think, well, you know, you had privilege and favor, you were smart, and you're making a difference for God because you have all this. I didn't have any, I had an alcoholic father. All the Lemans were drunks, every one of them. Every one of them. Yeah. Eighth grade educated dad. My mom was a nurse. Eight of nine children, poor. I didn't know I was poor until I got out of high school and saw how other people lived. Could I just show someone the screen that maybe reminds us of all that? Let's put the lights down and just, can you turn around? See if this reminds you of anything, would you care? Where's your father? He said he wanted to be alone, sir. Too much pressure. Hey, you keepin' the game. All right? Yes, sir. Man the leg. Yes, sir. I've got 12, man. One, two, three. Ah! Ah! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! That was no foul! Now, you're out of position to make a foul! Get out of here. Just charge your own way. Test me with class! Hey! Charge your own way! Norm, his, uh, fever plan. We know that. We know that. Come on. Okay, man. Get that phone away! Yes, sir. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. It's okay. He's an assistant coach. It's fine. That's a technical foul. Come on, gentlemen. Wait a minute! You understand? Come on. Play hard. A few days later, this happened. I know. I was coached for a while. I won a big game for them. I was coached in the last two minutes. I took them right down to the wire. I run the picket fence on them, and we won! And my son, my son, he's, um... How you doing, Dad? He's a conquering hero. I heard the game right there in that little Philco. And, uh, I heard old Ollie dribble on his foot and make that charity shot. And I started balling, and they bring the white coach in here, and they put him on the field. Put a jacket on me. Um, I was feeling so good, I didn't even mind too much. You doing good? Well, I feel real empty inside. And, uh, I have some bad visions. Son, the other night... No, that don't matter, Dad. You're gonna get better. A couple of months from now, I know we can, Dad. And when you get out of here, we're gonna get a house. Both of us. I love you, Dad. I'm gonna get better. Son. Oh, I wish I could be there. I'll be thinking of you. Yeah. Son, keep there, bud. Aw, man. That's warm for me. That's one of my favorite movies, one of my favorite spots. I didn't know he was going to do that. But you know what? I grew up with that. I'm so able to identify with that kid. My father used to embarrass me from time to time. The kids would call the local gin mill my father's office. And we lived in a small town where somebody got a new car, you knew it, you know. Everybody knew my dad's car. And I got to a point where I hated my father, hated him. Couldn't have cared less if the man lived or died. And time precludes me from telling the story about God put me to the test on that one and I came up with, I didn't care if he lived or died. But when my dad did die some 20 years after this incident, there weren't two people who were closer than John and Kevin Lehman. And it's such a reminder of God's grace in life. Because I was able to, as I grew older, forgive my father, saw him as a man who was subject to a terrible disease. And through the grace of God, when my dad was 56 years of age, he came to Christ. So we had a great last 20 years. And those kind of things hurt when you see them. But they're such great reminders of the life-changing power of Jesus Christ in your life. Now, how did I ever get from hating my father's guts to forgiving him? When I was almost 22 years old, I came to Christ. That was the big difference. When I was put to the test, I was 19 and my father was, seemed like he was going to die through some very delicate surgery he had to go through. And I couldn't have cared less if he made it or not at that time. But God had a plan for his life as he had for mine. We just learned that lesson over and over again. That I, as an imperfect person, and I can be pretty capable. I can do a lot of things. But like John said, I will take the cross with me. He sang those words. And that's what you and I have to do. And the power of love, we sang about that this morning. What a great song. The power of God's love gets us through those things. So all of us who I think are good encouragers and helpers of people, because that's really what I try to do in life. We need encouragement. And I want to thank you for the encouragement I got from your church this weekend. Great. Let's stand together. Let's stand and pray. You know, he's my brother. You better pray. Lord, we thank you for redemption. We thank you, Lord, that when the world gives up on us, when we give up on ourselves, that you never, ever give up. And I thank you, Lord, that all things are possible in you. And I thank you, Lord, that you hold the future in your hand. And by your grace, we're going to share this message of love, Lord, with every person who possibly can. Thanks for the healing you've done in Kevin's life over the years, done in my life, and any of us who would come to you. Thank you for your amazing love. Thank you for your amazing grace.