Dynamic Discipleship V, 4 Keys To A Discipling Relationship

By the way, let me mention to you on these outlines, if these are a distraction to you, then just put them in your Bible. I do them in order to help record some things that I trust will help you, but if they don't, don't be distracted by them. It's hard to know sometimes. Begin tonight with a quote from great Christian man of just a decade or so ago. His name was Elton Trueblood. Here's what he said, Perhaps the greatest single weakness of the contemporary Christian Church is that millions of supposed members are not really involved at all, and what is worse, do not think it's strange that they are not. As soon as we recognize Christ's intention to make his church a militant company, we understand at once that the conventional arrangement cannot suffice. There is no real chance of victory in a campaign if 90% of the soldiers are untrained and uninvolved. But that is exactly where we stand now. Most alleged Christians do not now understand that loyalty to Christ means sharing personally in his ministry, going or staying as the situation requires. We're in the middle of a series on discipleship. In two weeks, Peter Marshall Jr., who I respect as a rather unusually gifted guy from my old church background, the Presbyterians, will be here on a Wednesday night to talk about what he sees discipling becoming in this nation based on what it's been in the past. And I want to encourage you two weeks from now to be here. But I want to review a little bit tonight, just to get us all in the same wavelength, because most of us miss the service here and then. I just want to touch on this, even though I know some of you have memories that never fail. I'm not among you. We did say that discipleship can be reduced to two words. What were they? What were they? Follow me. And we said that Jesus made it very plain when he approached the disciples. He just told them, follow me. Paul later said the same thing. He told his followers that if they'd follow him and imitate him as he imitated Christ, they'd know exactly what to do. Then we talked two weeks ago that discipleship is formation that is shaping, not information. It's caught, not taught. It's action, not just belief. It's possession, not just profession. And I used two words out of Thessalonians. I said that we not only have a message, but we have a what? A method. God gave us not just the message. He gave us the method of how we were going to change the world. And, folks, I don't think it's changed. And then I talked about the obstacles. Most of us, I found, have never experienced a discipling relationship. Never had anybody that really took a personal interest in our growth. Most of us feel inadequate. We don't know what to do. On those surveys that I passed out two weeks ago, the great majority of you who were willing said, I'd like to, but I've never been trained. So we're working on that. And some of you will be contacted here in these weeks as we're working on that. Some of you say, I want to do it, but I don't know if I can pay the price. I'm tired. I'm burned out. And another obstacle I talked about was the obstacle of being impatient, the fact that you don't see someone grow overnight. They're kind of like a great oak tree. How fast does a great oak tree grow? I find it slow, but how long does it stand? A lot of Christians are just like, you know, daffodils. They come in the spring and they look great. Where are they now, folks? They're history, right? The frost got them. But we're here to build oak trees. The Bible calls us oaks of righteousness. And I want you to know that Jesus Christ was the most anointed man. We're on tonight's outline now. The most anointed man that ever lived. Remember last week I talked about the fact that we're all going to hear this evangelist at the end of the summer, Reinhard Bonnke? We'll be talking to you about that in the coming weeks, how you can be part of that. But Reinhard Bonnke is anointed. And you're all going to say, great, praise the Lord, and all those good things. But he's not as anointed as Jesus of Nazareth. Why? Because, well, he's still dealing with some sin. Jesus was the most anointed man that ever lived. But he still made disciples. And I want every one of us to understand how important that is, okay? It's not just more of the Holy Ghost, all right? For those of you who just get all uptight. It isn't going to take more Pentecost. It's going to take more of Pentecost in the flow of a discipling framework. I said it this way. This is on your outline. Anointing without discipling is just a demonstration that God is there. That's all it is. God is there. On the other hand, discipling without anointing, on the other hand, we're on tonight's outline now, okay? Well, we'll get everyone on the same page. All right? Four keys. Here we go. Discipling without anointing equals frustration. Anyone here ever been in a dead Bible study? I mean, just like, and you could barely wait until it was over. You can confess that. Some of you are afraid that God will strike you down. No, he won't. So what do we need? Well, we need anointing with discipling because that equals transformation. That's when people see their lives changed. And what I'm going to share with you tonight is the real nuts and bolts of all this stuff. You know, I always get concerned when I get nuts and bolts here because I won't hear one person say wow or thank you or praise the Lord or great or hallelujah or anything because, you see, it's not the motivational part. How many of you heard about that recent thing that was done in Wellsville, Ohio, about getting healthy? Did you read or hear about that? The whole town was, is that right? Wellsville, right? Wellsburg, okay. Yeah, well, the vills and the burgs get added. Wellsburg was a town that was deemed to be in serious physical shape. And so was it Johnson and Johnson? One of those companies came in and said we're going to help a program, a $4 million program to help get this little town in shape. And they sold them on all the benefits. They said, well, if you follow our program, you're going to feel better. You're going to look better. You're going to be in shape. You're going to live longer. And they went on and on. And what did the people say? Great, this is exciting. I've been waiting for this. I need to do this. They were interviewing some of the people a couple of years later. What they didn't tell them was they'd have to eat toast without any butter on it. They'd have to cook food without any kind of salt or seasoning. They'd have to skip whole meals. They'd have to take sugar out of their diet. I mean, they didn't tell them about all the pain. They just sold them on the benefits. They didn't tell them about the sacrifices. They didn't tell them how to do it. They just motivated them, and then they got them into it, and then they did it. Now, what I'm going to do tonight, folks, is I'm going to talk about the dry toast and the dessert-less meals and the stuff you've got to do if you're going to make disciples. You can always just bless me. Let's all say it one time. No, hallelujah. I feel better. Let's go on. Discipling is not bland or boring or tasteless, but, folks, it can be extremely practical and pragmatic. And I have to say to you, if you want to know why I think the charismatic movement just kind of like waved itself on out of existence is because one extreme got really going on this thing and abused it, and it made everyone else afraid. There's people here tonight that were hurt when discipling got way over-exercised. But that doesn't discount the fact that Jesus said to do it. He said to make disciples, didn't he? So that's what we're here to do. Now, let me share the four keys. The first one is the key of focus, okay? The key of focus. You see, when Jesus said in the Gospels, follow me, that was very easy. What did the disciples do? Well, we can read about it in Luke 5. They picked up their nets and they followed him. They left everything. How many of you know when you become a Christian, you don't just necessarily leave your job. You don't walk away from your relationships. I mean, it's not the same exact calling in our lives. Yes, spiritually we do follow Christ by leaving everything, but practically speaking, we've got to work it out in our lives. 2 Timothy 2, by the way, is a very challenging passage, and let me read it to you. If you want to turn there quickly, you can, or just listen. Here's Paul exhorting Timothy along the same lines. Listen to what he says. You then, my son, be strong in the grace that's in Christ Jesus, and the things you've heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. And you should all write in your notes there, 2 Timothy 2. 2 Timothy 2 is the, to me, the ultimate verse on what being a disciple and discipling is all about. And here's what he says. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs. He wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules. The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive his share of the crops. And so Paul is saying, look, this thing about being a disciple is serious business. It requires something of us. The key of focus, and I want to talk tonight just, first of all, first key, how do you narrow down what it is you're supposed to do? If you don't make some choices, if you don't know how to focus in on this thing, it's like me saying to you tonight, get in shape. And some of you say, well, I want to get in shape, but I don't know how to get in shape. How do I do it? Well, you move to Wellsburg. Well, what do they tell me in Wellsburg? Well, they'll tell you what you can eat, what you shouldn't eat, what you can do, exercise, and so on. Tonight, I want to tell you, the first thing you've got to do, folks, if you're going to be into a discipling relationship, if you're a home group leader and you're going to disciple some of your people, if you're a small group leader and you have some men or women with you, if you just enter into a little thing in your neighborhood, if just you and one other person have a discipling relationship, number one, focus. All right? What do I mean by that? Well, focus on people. This can sound a little bit difficult for us, but I want you to turn. Are you in Luke 9 where I first started you tonight? Luke chapter 9? First thing I want you to see is Luke chapter 9. We're going to look through three chapters of Luke here as I talk about this. Jesus called the twelve. The first thing you have to see is Jesus Christ was selective. Now, you may not want to hear that, but he chose people. We have a tendency, I think, in the church to say, well, gee, that's not very loving. If I pick Jim and I don't pick Gene, Gene's feelings will get hurt. If I don't pick Phil, his feelings get hurt. But if I pick Jim, you know, and on and on we go. Folks, Jesus prayed for discernment all night and then chose the twelve. I want to say, first of all, if you enter into a discipling relationship and you haven't prayerfully chosen the people, you will be frustrated because you will find, you know, if things aren't right there and you're not on the same page, you'll be frustrated. Things will really be an uphill battle for you. It's not something, you see, discipling is a friendship thing, really. It's building relationships. It's not a formula. And people have to be able and willing to be kind of on the same wavelength in these things. So focus on the people that you're going to be spending time with. Number two, focus on time. Very important, all right? Very important. How long were the disciples with Jesus? Three years, plus a little, okay? Three years. I want to tell you something. Don't enter into a discipling relationship where a guy or gal says, let's be in a discipling relationship for three years. Don't do it. You're not Jesus, and they aren't either. I would suggest to you that you have a limited, focused time together. I find that my discipling relationships last best when they are anywhere from eight to twelve weeks long and renewed. Every two or three months, we re-up. You say, well, that's not much time. Well, it's enough time for something to happen, and it's also short enough that you won't die if it's not. One of the big mistakes people make is, well, I just want to relate to you. Well, yeah, but I don't want to marry you, you know. I just want to be with you. I want to suggest to you it's very appropriate to spend a reasonable amount of time. Three months is a reasonable amount of time with somebody, with a small group in a discipling relationship. And then, if things are going great, what do you do? You meet together. You say, hey, this is so fantastic. Let's do it again. But if it's not fantastic or if you're just, you need, you know, your schedule's changing, then you're not locked in. And by the way, some of us here tonight don't want to be in a discipling relationship because it was so bad that we're afraid it'll happen again. This helps protect that from us. This makes it very attainable. How many of you know it's nice to accomplish something? It's nice to say, I finished the book, you know. I did this, period. And that's why I want to just emphasize focusing a little bit. It's very important, time-wise. Number three, focus on input. Focus on some input. Again, how did Jesus teach? Well, he just kind of went all around, and I love reading the Gospels. We read them at least twice during the year through the Victory Plan. Right now we're in John. And Jesus just spontaneously, he'll see something, he'll say, come here, guys, see this? And he explained it to them. You know, see the Lebanon Pharisees here? You couldn't heal this person because of this? Now, how many of you know that's the kind of spontaneous thing we'd like to do? Well, we can't all do that because of all of our... So what we do is we have more structured time and some relational time. But I want to suggest to you another thing that makes discipling relationships fail is that there's no set input. There's no structure to the relationship and no input. And since we're not Jesus, sometimes, you know, our insight isn't all that profound and after a while it gets boring. And if you sit around in a group and say, could you share what's on your heart tonight? And you do that for 12 weeks, guess what you're going to think about each other? Gosh, there's not much on your heart. We're not getting anywhere. You need to have input. And we have found this. A specific book of the Bible can be your input. You can study the book of Mark. Do a chapter a week and finish up in grand style with a few extra chapters. Or take a small epistle. Let me recommend four books, any one of which would be a great discipleship study. Number one, many of us have used the book called Lead On. It's in our bookstore. Excellent book for discipling relationships. Excellent. All about character, all about vision and growth. Just a great book. Another book that we've used called, it's titled rather, Called and Committed by David Watson. Excellent book. And your group may decide not to read it. You know, you don't have to do the whole thing. Maybe just do selected chapters. But it's a great tool to help you to grow. Another very excellent book for discipleship is called The Secret Kingdom by Pat Robertson. Great principles of life and growth there. One other one I'll recommend that we've used in the past. It's Discovering Your Spiritual Gifts by Peter Wagner. Those make great short-term studies for a discipling relationship. All right? So that's the first key. Focus. I want to stop right now because I don't want anyone to think that it's not, that the questions are out of order here. Because this is so practical. It's not like I'm trying to inspire you. I'm just giving you the meat and potatoes. Is this clear? Do you understand what we're getting at here? We have done this, many of us, scores of times. We focus in on some people. We focus in on a time frame. And we focus in on input. If you mess with any of those three, I can pretty much assure you, your discipling experience will probably be less and maybe will be just a big pain. All right? Any questions? Good. All right. I'll leave some time at the end. You can ask them. The second key is the key of participation. You've got to participate. The key of participation. You know, look with me in Luke chapter 9 here. As you start reading through these Gospels, things really start unfolding. Look at, for example, Jesus goes out with the disciples. And skip over to verse 10. They had been out. Jesus called them and sent them out. And they came back and reported. They started talking to Jesus about what they'd done. And they went off to the town of Bethsaida. And then verse 11, the crowds learned about it and followed him. And he welcomed them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God like we did tonight. And healed those who needed healing. Late in the afternoon, the twelfth came to him and said, Send the crowd away so they can go to the surrounding villages and countryside and find food and clothing. Because we're in a remote place. In other words, Jesus, we've got a problem here. These people are hungry. They haven't eaten in a long time. Let's just get rid of them. Send them out. Let's say the next verse together. You give them something to eat. We don't know where we are. Luke 9, 13. You give them something to eat. Let's all say it. You give them something. In other words, you participate. You be part of this experience. You be part of it. I've discovered the key of participation. Number one, every person contributes. Every person. When you have a group of six men sitting around a table, three of them don't talk and the other three sit there like bums. If that happens, the group will start to chug and pretty soon be out of sync and it'll have died. Number two, each person responds. Let's look on down here. Verse 18. Once when Jesus was praying in private and his disciples were with him, he asked them, Who do the crowds say I am? They replied, Some say John the Baptist, others say Elijah, and still others. One of the prophets of long ago has come back. And I love this. Jesus looks right at Peter. It's like I'm looking at some of you right now. And he says, Who do you say that I am? In other words, Peter, it's not good enough for it just to be general stuff. Who do you say that I am? In a discipling relationship, everyone responds. Everyone gets into it and makes it happen. Number three, each person owns the success of the group. In other words, they're not looking to you to be the master great leader. And that was one of the great weaknesses of the last decade. The Holy Spirit's resident in all believers. Look at verse 49 of chapter 9. Master said, John, we saw a man driving out demons in your name. And we tried to stop him because he's not one of us. See that? What's John doing there? He's protecting the identity, the success of the group. Home group leaders. Does everyone in your group, do they sense an ownership and identification with you? Are they sold out for its success? Number four, each person discovers a role. And I want to ask you to turn there. But you know in John 12 verse 29, how many of you know, don't say it out loud, but how many of you know who controlled the treasury, the money bag for the 12 disciples? Okay, now what did I say? That's right. I said don't say it out loud, but you fell right into it. That's all right. Judas, he had a role. His role was to be the treasurer of the 12. Isn't that something? I want to submit to you that in every discipling kind of group, every person should have a specific role. One could be the convener of the group and make sure that everyone gets there. Another person could be perhaps hosting it and get some refreshments and stuff like that. You can rotate how it's conducted, whatever. It doesn't have to be necessarily one person who is like coming and depositing his or her wisdom. It's good to have a leader, a person who's maybe a little more mature spiritually, but they don't have to be the guru of the group. Each person has a role to play. Let me say finally, it includes recognizing the accountability of the group. When somebody in a relationship of discipling doesn't show up, you should love them enough to find out why. I have to say if you're a leader of a group, you can't afford just to hit and miss, folks. That's why the 8-12 week parameter is a help because you can commit for 8-12 weeks, but you can't necessarily commit the rest of your life every Sunday from 6 to 10 p.m.